before i joined screlteens, i had no clue that you needed protection for oral sex too...i thought a condom or whatever was used only during sexual intercourse (thank you for educating me btw!...hehe).. my question is this...the part of the worl where i come from (for those who are inept at geography, sri lanka is an asian country...a gorgeous sunny tiny island shaped like a tear-drop just belown india... anyway, in sri lanka, well...the attitude here is different..condoms are used only for "sex". sex is defined as sexual intercourse...oral sex is classified as "just heavy making out" (go figure...i know)...well, the thing is, if you suggest to anyone that they use a condom or protection when performing oral sex, over here, they're gonna laugh at ur face..and my problem is, well..it's kinda personal. my boyfriend and i have never had sex before...(oral included). i know he wants me to when i'm ready...and i know i want to too sometime..not now, but future..i also know that he hasn't been with other women or engaded in anything that might cause him to have any STDs or STIs...meaning i think he's clean cuz he has no reason to be not clean. he might feel insulted (i dunno...maybe) if i ask him to wear a condom when i do have oral sex with him...i know he shouldn't...but how do i apporach the matter?..chances of him infecting me with something is almost nil, but "almost" isn't a word i like and isn't a risk i'm willing to take...i don't wanna make him feel bad either...any ideas?
Try showing him this website and educate him on the matter. Explain to him the STDs and STIs can be transmitted without sexual activity. Having him use protection is not an insult, but a comliment because you want him to be safe as well as you.
If in your country people laugh at you for suggesting a safety measure perhaps you could try educating as many people as you can. A good first step might be to advertise for scarleteen, and educate as many people as you can about safer sex.
And just tell your boyfriend that using a condom is only about safety. Your chances of getting in a car accident are small, but do you always wear a seatbelt just in case(i hope so!)?
Tell him not to be insulted, because you expect him to use a dental dam for oral sex on you, and you're not insulted at all. If he says it'll break the mood, offer to put the condom on with your mouth (although you may want to practice that one a few times first, make sure your teeth don't scrape and there are no air pockets). There really shouldn't be any excuse he can come up with that you can't counter act, because there isn't a reason to not have safe sex.
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