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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » I am probably being incredibly stupid.

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Author Topic: I am probably being incredibly stupid.
ParaPetunia
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Okay, I have read everything. I have looked at other posts from people who are in similar situations. I have spoken to my friends, to my boyfriend and even to my mum about this. I KNOW full well I have not had a pregnancy risk but I can't stop panicking and still need reassuring, so I'm really sorry for wasting your time a bit here...but, say I had pre-ejaculate on my hand, maybe a drop, and then touched myself through trousers and underwear, would that pose any kind of pregnancy risk?
In fact, I'm not even sure that's what I wanted to ask. I'm more concerned about the fact that I'm ridiculously paranoid about this, even though I've reread the articles on here dozens of times. It's just that I've had quite a bad scare in the past - my mum misunderstood the activity I told her I was worried about and got so angry...my boyfriend lives far away and I'm only 15 so she still has the power to stop me seeing him ever again, which she WOULD do if anything went wrong. It turned out nothing had happened, but I'm now really paranoid. We've stopped doing anything remotely risky and my boyfriend has been so wonderful and patient and supportive about that, but we BOTH want to do SOME things and neither of us are comfortable doing anything that might make me panic again, so really, I need some way to rationalise my thoughts. Sorry, this is kinda long, but I'm going a bit mental here...any suggestions? Thanks if you read this whole thing, I realise I'm being stupid here :S xx

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Can you first start by reading through this: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/28/t/006958.html

Thank you!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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ParaPetunia
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I have already read that page and any of the relevant articles in it - I'm probably one of the people mentioned on number 4 - are there any simple ways you can suggest to try and shut the little paranoid voices up? [Smile] Just ways of looking at it to stop me thinking about it, or precautions we could take without my parents thinking we're having sex to ease my mind, or...anything, seriously. Or nothing, too. I realise I'm being a bit vague and irrational :S
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Heather
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Well, do you find that there is any sexual activity you engage in that doesn't result in feeling like this?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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ParaPetunia
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Um...usually as long as any...products of his stay inside his trousers, I'm fine, but I find myself panicking if I haven't washed my hands more than once after touching him or I'm not wearing a pad to keep my mind at rest, which I wasn't when the incident I described earlier happened...
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Robin Lee
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How would it be for the two of you to dial back the intensity even further and concentrate on non-genital contact? It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety around what happens when there is any genital contact, including manual sex or dry humping. As you said, you've read the articlesw over and over again, and we could tell you over and over again, but you already know that having clothes between the two of you is protection, and that a pad isn't necessary.

You could concentrate on making sure you always wear a pad, for your own peace of mind, but it sounds to me as if to make things really safe and comfortable you might consider, at least for now, doing other things.

What do you think?

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Robin

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ParaPetunia
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I see your reasoning and that is a very good idea but it's just that we're teenagers, and soon we'll be getting to the age where we can legally do even more things, and it's not that my boyfriend would force me to, or even tell me he wasn't happy with waiting, but I worry that maybe he'd be a little bit disappointed, particularly as we've done more sexual things in the past, and I'd like to be able to do things WITHOUT panicking as much, because I'm a bit scared that if I worry about this, I'll NEVER be able to actually have sex without having a massive panic attack. I feel a bit like I'm only going to get over it if I can not panic about the things I don't need to panic about :S If that made any sense at all [Smile] Really sorry, I feel like I'm wasting your time here but I don't really know where else I can turn :S
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ParaPetunia
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Just...also, because it helps me calm down if I hear it clearly from someone, is there absolutely definitely no risk AT ALL of sperm travelling through clothing? Even if the two layers were slightly damp? Sorry, again..
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Robin Lee
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It really really can't. Dampness has nothing to do with it. Sperm needs it's own special conditions, and clothing, damp or no, don't fall anywhere within sperm's requirements.

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Robin

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