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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » My boyfriend and I...

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Author Topic: My boyfriend and I...
Member # 94542

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My boyfriend and I, both 18, have decided that we're going to try to have a child together. I know, being eighteen and talking about such things, it sounds crazy, but it really doesn't feel that way.

After a miscarriage that happened a couple months back, we've talked long and hard about it, and we've both finally decided that this is what we want. Him and I have been together for almost eight months, and have known each other for three years, in March. Financially, we are set, and there's certainly a massive amount of love within our relationship that our baby would be brought into and share with us.

Now, I don't want to come off as being snobby, AKA a b-i-you-know-what, but any comments given in an attempt to change our hearts on what we're trying to accomplish will be disregarded (Please, don't bite your tongues though). I hope that you can at least try to have confidence in me and believe me whenever I say that we are prepared, emotionally and mentally, as well as financially, despite of me going into details about how so...(He works two jobs, and I work one).

Tonight was our first time actively trying* to become pregnant. He ejaculated inside of me for the first time, instead of using the "pull-out" method like we have always done before. Afterwards, about an hour or so, I went to the bathroom to pee, and there was a little bit of blood in my underwear mixed with, what looked like, some of his semen that came out. Whenever I peed, there was blood with the liquid-y consistency of my urine, and it didn't seem like period blood to me...and for it to happen right after we had got finished is weird to me. I went ahead and put a pad on, and I've checked periodically to see if anything is showing up on it, but nothing has, unless* I push the pad against my vagina and push, and it looks like it's watered down. Do you think that it's my period starting and our timing was just bad, or is this normal to happen? I've searched on the internet for the answer, but there's nothing better than having somebody answer, or at least attempt, my specific question.

Now, I have a few questions about some things.
--- What is the average time period that it takes to conceive?
We're aware that it'll take more than one try, and both prepared for the disappointments that attempting and failing will bring. We're very active though, we see each other almost everyday and have sex about three to four separate times. I don't want it to seem like all we do is have sex though. (We always go a day or two, and just kick back and cuddle. We go out every other weekend, or sometimes in the middle of the week, to a movie and dinner, and just laugh and have a genuinely good time together, ending the night with a kiss.)

Now, another question.
--- Is there a position that is more (or less) successful in becoming pregnant?
I really don't know how to describe all the positions we use, because we're all over the place, but tonight we did missionary so he could penetrate deep and hold it there to ejaculate.

This question is about the likelihood of multiples.
-- He's a triplet and I have twin cousins: Does that increase the possibility of us getting pregnant with more than one? If so, by how much (If that can be determined)?
I've always said that I wanted twins, so I can have two and not worry about having anymore, but, as of right now, I'm only hoping for one (even though he wants two).

--- How often should I take pregnancy test? And is there a brand of PT that is more accurate than others?
--- Do fertility tests work? If yes, we'll make a trip to the store to get it. (Is there a brand of reference?)

That's all we've got to say and ask.
Any comments given are greatly appreciated. Thank you. [Smile]

Posts: 2 | From: virginia | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi there,

Welcome to Scarleteen.

In regards to the bleeding, it could be your period. You'll know soon if it is. It also could be irritation from intercourse. The vaginal tissues are pretty delicate and sometimes don't react well to the friction of intercourse. Frequent intercourse can contribute to this. Using a lubricant can help reduce the likelihood of irritation.

Pregnancy tests: A test won't reveal pregnancy right away. You can start testing about 2 weeks after the sex occurred--or two weeks after you first started having sex with no birth control--to see what the results are.

You could try fertility tests, but a more accurate, and less expensive, option is to chart your fertility. Here's how:
Fertility Awareness (FAM)

We're not in the business of judging here. [Smile] That said, I here you mention being emotionally and financially ready. I'm wondering about other things. Do you have a support network of family, friends, or both? Have you thought about how you will care for a child while it is a baby and as it grows, considering that you both work?
Here's an article with some more thoughts to consider. Again, we're not in the business of talking people out of something they really want to do, only of helping people have as much information as they need for the long-run.


Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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In addition to what Robin said, I wanted to ask whether you are up to date with your reproductive health care? If you are planning to try to conceive, an appointment with your gynecologist is the very first step, so that you can make sure that you're healthy and that your body is ready for a pregnancy.

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 94542

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Hi Robin, first I'd like to start by saying thank you for your response. [Smile]

After I had submitted by post, I thought it was silly of me to have asked about the bleeding so soon, because yes, all I had to do was wait a little longer. My period started. I'm happy about it coming, because now I know the start date of this period for furture reference, if it is needed.

I asked about pregnancy testing, because I didn't know if I should wait until a week(+) long missed period. So, thank you for letting me know.

Now, to answer your questions [Smile]
We both have support behind our decision. My parents told me they don't dissaprove of the idea at all...they both love my boyfriend, almost as much as I do [Smile] My sisters are both excited for it to happen as well, and I've talked to my two closest friends, to get a point-of-view from outside the family, and they are both supportive and excited for it to happen as well. (My guy bestfriend called "dibs" on being his/her God-father...he's really excited, lol).
My boyfriend's mom always asks us, "So when am I getting a grandbaby, you guys?" She asked the night before last, and instead of just laughing it off awkwardly.. I told her she'll be getting one soon, and she hugged me so tight. We both sat down with her and told her what we want to do, and she talked more than we did, going on about all the stuff she's going to get him/her. His two brothers, both 18, I don't know how they really feel about it, they told us they want a nephew.
So yes, we have support. [Smile]

Even though we both work, I only work 3 days out of the week, bringing in an average of $400 every Friday. I've also got $17,500 that hasn't been touched since it was put into my savings account, from selling an abandoned car, which happened to be brand new. My boyfriend gets anywhere from $500 too $600 every two weeks from one of his paychecks, and a little over $200 from the other one, and he's been putting that one into savings since before we started dating.

- I also read that "I Want It NOW" article last night. I'm more than ready for this.

Now, to answer you Joey. [Smile]
Yes, I am up to date with my health. My boyfriend and I went together, on January 26th. We didn't want to start trying without seeing what things were looking like, after our miscarriage. My gynecologist told us that everything looks good, and not to worry about it happening again.

Posts: 2 | From: virginia | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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