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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » 16 pregnant sex for first time no protection

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Author Topic: 16 pregnant sex for first time no protection
spesh
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hi ok so im 1 just this moment discovered im pregnant told no onw and im scared had sex for the first time a month and half ago what do i do ??? !!!!
Posts: 21 | From: wolverhampton | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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So, you just took a pregnancy test and the result was positive?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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spesh
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yes
Posts: 21 | From: wolverhampton | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Captain Girl
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Okay.

So - hard question - What do you want to do?


How are you set up in terms of emotional support? Do you have someone you feel safe talking to about this?

You should see a doctor, and talk about what your options are, and what resources are available. You're going to need to think about what to say to the people in your life. But once you tell, say, your parents or your boyfriend, they're going to have opinions (possibly strong ones) about what you should do. So it might help you if you considered those decisions before anyone started to try and persuade you one way or another.

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spesh
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im not sure [Frown]
Posts: 21 | From: wolverhampton | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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spesh: sorry I wasn't around to follow up with you after you last posted.

Do you want me to talk you through your options?

If so, you probably already know that they are:
terminating the pregnancy
staying pregnant with plans to be a parent
staying pregnant with plans to arrange an adoption

Do you have any questions about any of those options, or any strong feelings about any of them? Any sense of a preference for one -- or against one -- right at the gate?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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spesh
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im agains abortion and adoption to be honest
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Heather
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Okay, starting from there then, do you feel like remaining pregnant and planning to parent is something you want to do and feel able to do at this point in time?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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spesh: I need to knock off for the day here, but if you want to have an in-depth talk about this and can let me know a couple times in the next few days when you can be around, I'm happy to make myself available.

If you want something to start looking at in the meantime, this is the options workbook most of us who do options counseling use: http://www.pregnancyoptions.info/pregnant.htm

As well, if you're thinking seriously about remaining pregnant, the very next thing you want to do is to get seen by a healthcare provider. They can verify the pregnancy for you, but also get you started on prenatal care (which, even if you change your mind, is wise just for your own health). If you need help knowing where to get that, you can post your zip code or use the email link below to send it, and I'd be happy to help you find something local.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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spesh
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tbh dont feel like i can be a parent im a self harmer
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Alice
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Spesh,

Have you ever gotten any help (such as counseling or therapy) with the self-harming?

For sure, healthy and active parenting (and therefore: having a healthy kid) can be really, really difficult when you're dealing with issues like this one, and especially when you don't have healthy ways to cope with stress.

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The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - B.B. King

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Heather
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Certainly, like Alice said, self-harming could be a real issue both during a pregnancy and if you're parenting.

We can talk about getting evaluated with self-harm, and getting some help (which is a good idea regardless), and talk more about parenting as an option for you.

We could also talk about adoption, abortion or both if you like. Sometimes people can feel strongly against these other options when they're not pregnant and in the position where they need to make these choices, then find they feel differently when they are pregnant and are trying to find what seems like their best choice.

Just let me know, and we can talk about any or all of these things.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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spesh
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tar
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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spesh: I don't understand what your last post meant. Help me out?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Scozta
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Spesh, good luck, no matter what decision you make, it'll be the right decision.

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"They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. Make it worth watching."

Posts: 8 | From: Montana | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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