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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Just need some support waiting for morning

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Author Topic: Just need some support waiting for morning
catlyn
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I'm taking a test in the morning, when my urine is concentrated enough, since it was recommended. I can't sleep. Just need some support I guess. I don't understand how this could be happening.

We had protected sex three times this month. He wears a condom AND pulls out. Risk should be nil, right? That's what we figured.

Four days late. I gave it a little time because I started my new job last months and it's been very stressful, constant low grade alert. PMS came, PMS is gone. Breasts aren't swollen or sore anymore. I feel completely normal. Minus the missing period. No choice but to test.

He's been good, we're scared obviously. I'm afraid, if this is positive in... 4ish hours, when I get up for work, that even once we've gotten through it, (abortion... hard, but nothing else makes sense for us.) it's going to put a wedge between us, and this is undoubtedly the best relationship I've ever had.

I'm feeling like everything is conspiring to make my adjustment to being completely independent as hard as possible.

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September
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Welcome to Scarleteen, catlyn!

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so freaked. A pregnancy scare is never a fun situation.

From what you've said, though, it doesn't sound like you've had much of a pregnancy risk. No method of contraception every protects you 100%, but using condoms correctly and for all genital contact reduces the risk by over 98%. So, try to relax a little, okay?

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Johanna
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catlyn
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Thanks. I do know that the risk was low-- that makes it even more baffling. I have tracked my cycle for three years, I went back and looked at it, never been more than two days off, ever.

Round one was negative though-- hopefully this is my body being funny-- "Oh ha ha, I scared you didn't I?" We last had sex the 15th; I'll do another test Wednesday, since it will have been two weeks, and if that's negative, I guess I need to start hunting for my period, cos my body has NEVER lost it for so long before.

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Heather
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You still awake, catlyn?

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catlyn
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Hi, Heather. I posted at about 2AM my time. I was at work when you responded.

So no change. I have cramps, but I've heard that that can be an early indicator, and they don't really "feel" right, so I'm not comforted.

Tested last night about an hour after I posted. Negative, but I'm worried I didn't wait long enough for a good concentration of hormone to build up.

The next step I guess would be a doctor. But the places in the area administer the same tests I can buy, they don't usually do blood tests.

I just DON'T UNDERSTAND... the chances are low. SO low. I know that. It makes no sense for me to be pregnant, but my body has never done this before. Not when I was depressed and abused, not when I was 100 lbs, never.

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Heather
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Actually, very few providers do blood tests anymore to determine pregnancy. For early pregnancy, most will use the same kinds of urine tests you can buy at the store, because when used properly, they are very reliable.

If your period is four days late, chances are good your result is accurate. And there isn't always a reason for cycles to shift, but it does actually tend to happen often enough in a lifetime, even if it hasn't happened to you before.

So, I'd say the next step is to just wait another week, see what happens. If you still don't have a period by then, you can retest at home or see a healthcare provider, whichever you prefer.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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catlyn
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Do you think that four days late would show a result regardless of when I took the test or how long I'd been between trips to the bathroom? I guess that's really the only thing I'm afraid I've done wrong that makes me reluctant to believe the result.
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Karybu
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At four days late, those things should not have an effect, no. However, if you're doubting the result for whatever reason, testing again in a week or so is always a good idea.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Captain Girl
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By the time your period is four days late, you could most probably get a positive test no matter what time of day you did it, or how long between bathroom trips, assuming that you aren't pounding fluids (by which I mean, drinking well past the point at which you're no longer thirsty).

It really does not sound to me as though you've got a pregnancy risk here. Really. Give it a week, test again if your period is still MIA, but really, try not to worry. You've been very careful. If you don't get your period in another ten days or so, give your doctor a call and try to find out what's what.

Would it help you feel better if you found a method of contraception that you controlled? That way you would be able to determine whether or not the contraception had been used properly without asking or checking with anyone else.

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catlyn
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He is VERY careful. I'd sooner believe a 1 in a billion defect in the condom than his making a mistake. I'd prefer we were doubled up though, yes. I find the female barrier methods to be very clumsy, though. Additionally, hormone based birth control has made me crazy/angry/depressed/suicidal. I've tried several different flavors.

I'm most curious about IUDs, as the dose of a Mirena would be lower, but I hate to spend the money and have to take it out because it made me nuts. And I bleed enough as it is without the copper's promise of 50% additional bleeding, though I'm beginning to think I'll risk it, as it's the most effective non hormonal option out there.

We talked some more, we're calm and have a plan. I guess the one perverse thing I'm feeling here is angry. We were responsible. There are so many irresponsible people out there who skate through and don't ever worry. I know some! Why am I having to deal with this?

And I'm REALLY curious about what's up with my body, for it to decide it would like to play games. Poor guy went reading on my behalf and has his head full of endometriosis and PCOS and who knows what else. He's howling about doctor's visits and bloodwork and the whole nine yards regardless of the outcome here.

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Heather
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I actually think there are less people who just totally blow off contraception out there than many people think. Access is a problem for a LOT of people, as is healthy relationship dynamics, and certainly education.

This is something we have to deal with sometimes if and when we have bodies which can become pregnant and engage in things that can create that situation. That's really all there is to it, and I know, big time, that that can be a real pain in the noodle sometimes. I hear you.

Of course, too, we live in a world where more time and money has been invested in sending people to space than in developing more contraceptive methods, more effective methods, and making them more accessible. So, some of your anger may be about that, too. I know that particularly as someone who not only sees the impact of that in my work daily, but who also has not been able to use the most effective methods either, I certainly get pissed off about that sometimes.

You know, when it comes to what's going on with your body, it's actually LESS typical for periods to be like total clockwork all of life then for them to be a little more fluid and also shift around sometimes (for a whole bunch of reasons that often have nothing to do with serious illness or pregnancy). So, it might help to recognize that your experience to date of having a period that has been to-the-day regular the whole time you've had it is the exception, not the rule.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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catlyn
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Well... finally started. I'm surprised though. I kinda expected to be bleeding really heavy, because of the extra time, but while still definitely "normal" looking, dark red, etc, it is definitely lighter than even my typical period. Is that usual?
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Captain Girl
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Catlyn, one cause for late periods is an anovulatory cycle: basically, a menstrual cycle in which the hormonal triggers for ovulation either don't happen, or don't work. Anovulatory cycles happen to all of us from time to time, and usually aren't medically significant, but they can be pretty odd. If that's what happened to you this month (I don't know that it is, but it's one possibility), it wouldn't be surprising if your bleeding was lighter than usual, or shorter.

It also wouldn't be surprising if your bleeding was heavier or longer - there's no way to say which way things will jump.

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catlyn
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Okay, I was calm. I am now completely panicking.

I've had a three day period, lighter than usual, this is day four tapering off. Just cos there were two in the box, I took the other test. At a glance, negative. Next glance, faint, FAINT line, not even filled in the whole way. The tiniest sliver of the lightest blue. I dug out the other test to compare. No color. I can see the line, where it would fill if it were positive, in both. There is just that difference

Is this frigging line on the way OUT, or on the way IN? The test is supposed to be good to 5 days EARLY, and I am now 8 days PAST due, with a winding down period. I can't bear to tell him until I know.

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Heather
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What brand of test was this that you used?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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catlyn
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Rite Aid generic. I've read everywhere that even dollar store tests were as good as anything else.

Went back to look at it. Definite, pale pale line.

Going to the family planning place to take a test. I am completely numb.

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Heather
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Take a breath, seriously.

Is there anything in the directions that addresses faint lines?

Mind, for your peace of mind, sounds like a clinic test is a good idea regardless.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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catlyn
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I swear I'm not hallucinating or trying to be crazy. I put the two tests side by side. They are different.

I never thought I'd get a questionable result. I was taking it for his peace of mind. That was a fail.

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Karybu
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You're not crazy, okay? This can happen sometimes. As Heather said though, sounds like a clinic test would be a really good idea for your peace of mind. Is there any way you can get that done soon?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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catlyn
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I have an appointment in an hour. He's coming to pick me up and coming with me.

The facts are just stubbornly refusing to add up. And even if I get there and it IS negative-- how can I trust it? I couldn't even trust my period. I chart. I keep track, and have for years. I KNOW myself. I feel like a drama queen, but right now I don't feel safe in my own body. It's betrayed me, and I can't know what's right.

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Djuna
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Hi catlyn! I hope you get this when you get back from your appointment - I'm going to be around for a few hours if you want someone to talk to about how that went.

I don't think any of this makes you a drama queen, by the way - it's obviously scary to be second-guessing your body and not knowing what it's doing. I think you're absolutely entitled to the way that you're feeling. Hopefully by the time you read this, you have a firmer answer. [Smile]

[ 07-01-2011, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: patrickvienna ]

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In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

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Captain Girl
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Catlyn, I really hope the clinic is helpful. I gotta say, you are absolutely *not* being a drama queen.
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catlyn
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After being touch for a week, I managed to start hyperventilating in the patient room while waiting for a result. Poor boyfriend, he was so supportive through the whole thing, even though I know he was just as scared.

Test was negative, and the nurse explained that since hCG doubles every 12 hours, if I got a positive result in the morning, it should be even stronger by afternoon. She suggested that in cases like mine, you should just pretend you can't even buy a home test, because the conditions in which they're stored can be questionable, the dye can travel, etc. But since the clinic's tests are sampled weekly and made to detect very small amounts, she feels confident in the result, though I'm welcome to come back in a week.

I will be back in two. For an IUD consultation. And no sex til I am on SOMETHING. And he's taking his jewelry out. No chances. Tripling up sounds good to me.

Also, he's warned me that if I ever call and say there's an emergency, he's going to ask me to rate it on a scale of 1 to pregnant. [Wink] Poor guy. He deserves a medal.

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Captain Girl
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It sounds like he's kept his sense of humor through this, so that's good.

And y'all sound like you have a solid set of plans to move forward with.

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