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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Anxiety about being pregnant. (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Anxiety about being pregnant.
louemma
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Hello everyone.

I've been on many forums before, and everyone just tells me I'm crazy. So I started going to a counselor to talk about my pregnancy fears. BUT sometimes I still think I really am pregnant.

I have not had sex, but once in awhile there will be fingering and I can't tell you if sperm was on his hand or not. The last time this would have happened would have been about 8 weeks ago.

Well.. I've been experiencing nausea randomly and extreme burning sensations like I have to pee really bad. I have a doctor's appointment to see if I have a bladder infection tomorrow, but I'm still so afraid.

I know the chances are so slim. I am on the Pill too, but I have been known to take it a few hours late. (Oops I know!)

I don't have a whole lot of money to go buy a pregnancy test.. and I'm also trying to talk myself out of this.

I've talked to my mother about it and she tells me to just take deep breaths and that I'm not pregnant. But.. maybe I am..?

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KittenGoddess
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We don't ever tell anybody that they're crazy. So please don't think you will get that reaction here.

Based on what you've said, it does not sound like you had a risk of pregnancy. It's good that you are heading to the doctor though, because burning sensations like you are describing are often associated with bladder infections (and you don't want to leave those untreated as they can turn really problematic). While you are at your appointment, you can ask them to test you for pregnancy.

You've said you are speaking with a counselor about the anxiety. That's a really terrific step! Has she/he suggested any strategies to help reduce your stress about this?

Along with that, can I ask what you believe might help you put these anxieties to rest?

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Sarah Liz

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louemma
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Yes, I might ask them to test for pregnancy, but I also have a checkup next Monday because I have ovarian cysts and they will be doing an ultrasound to see if the cysts are gone (so they'd surely see a baby then, right?).

We haven't gotten so far as to talking about strategies, but this Friday I have an appointment with her again and we are going to start some new tricks and more talking about this fear.

I think I need to stop sexual contact.. for awhile at least. And to truly think about WHY I'm so afraid. Because logically, I think, it's not really probable that I'm pregnant. But then I think, oh wait but I COULD be! I just want to work on myself for awhile, and not have to worry about a sexual partner or sex in any way. It might be hard, but I think that and therapy and hanging around with my family and being open with everyone is the best I can do!

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KittenGoddess
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quote:
Originally posted by louemma:
I think I need to stop sexual contact.. for awhile at least. And to truly think about WHY I'm so afraid. Because logically, I think, it's not really probable that I'm pregnant. But then I think, oh wait but I COULD be! I just want to work on myself for awhile, and not have to worry about a sexual partner or sex in any way. It might be hard, but I think that and therapy and hanging around with my family and being open with everyone is the best I can do!

This is such a terrific idea. You're absolutely on the right track there.

While your uterus and ovaries are close to one another, if they aren't specifically looking at your uterus, they wouldn't be looking for a pregnancy necessarily (also, at 8 weeks there wouldn't be much to see were you pregnant anyway). You can absolutely ask them to take a look at that though.

Also, there is nothing wrong with asking for a pregnancy test when you get the bladder infection checked out. If they're checking for UTIs, I can almost guarantee they will have you pee in a cup anyway. It is no big deal to have them dip a urine pregnancy test along with that.

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Sarah Liz

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louemma
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Sarah -

To be honest, I'm kind of nervous to ask for them to give me a pregnancy test. Because what if it was positive?

What do you think I should say to them? Just that I want to be reassured?

Would a test be accurate by now?

I hate being nervous about something that doesn't seem possible. [Frown]

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KittenGoddess
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Pregnancy tests can be accurate as soon as 10-14 days after a risk. So if you haven't had sexual contact in 8 weeks, you'd definitely be within the time where you could count on the results.

To be clear, based on what you've described, I don't think that a test would come up positive anyway because you don't sound as if you've had a risk.

I think it can be as simple as saying, "I'm a little worried that I might be pregnant, can you go ahead and do a pregnancy test now as well?" when they have you give a urine sample. You don't have to provide details if you don't want to.

Don't beat up on yourself for being nervous right now. You are working on the anxiety, so give yourself credit for actively taking steps to make the situation better.

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Sarah Liz

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louemma
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Right, and I've told you everything. Okay. I'll do that.

Could I keep talking to you once in awhile, off and on if it's okay?

Everyone just giggles when I tell them my concerns, because it REALLY does sound silly.

I've had these scares before. Many times. The doctors all know me at the office I will go to tomorrow and probably won't even want to give me a test!

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louemma
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Another thing that has happened.. my boyfriend broke up with me because he said no one could love someone who has anxiety like me.

I'm just hurting.. I feel all alone.

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moonlight bouncing off water
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If your (now ex) boyfriend breaks up with you over something like that, and does so so rudely and carelessly then you are really better off without him. He is absolutely wrong in saying that no one could love you due to your anxiety, not only is it terribly mean in the way that he said it, it is completely untrue. My boyfriend has an anxiety disorder and I love him very very much. Anybody who can be so mean and callous is NOT worth your time or effort.

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~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

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louemma
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Thanks... [Frown]

I'm really afraid.

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louemma
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UGH I've had to pee like 10 times today. And it's starting to burn.

[Frown]

If anyone's around, I'd love someone to talk to.

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clm1994
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You really ha no risk of pregnancy here. He would have had to have his hand SOAKED in ejactualtion to even pose a risk or you would have had to have direct genital to genital contact. So dont worry because I did that and it doesnt help anyone. This burning sensation and peeing though is probably and infection so you will just have to wait fr the appointment, but it will be treatable most likely. So relax.
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KittenGoddess
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louemma, I've just gotten home from work and wanted to check in on you. (I'll be here on and off this evening.)

I'm sorry your partner had such an awful response. Please know that he is wrong. People with anxieties are still loved by others, as noted by the previous poster. Certainly, anxiety can impact relationships...and in some cases that may mean certain partners are not good or healthy fits. But having anxiety does not make you unlovable.

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Sarah Liz

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louemma
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Okay.. thanks clm1994 and Sarah. I have to get ready for class now... I've just been having such a hard time with ALL of this.

I don't even really know what to say. But I do appreciate the responses and I'll probably keep updating on and off.

I will say I'm nervous about tomorrow and getting a test done..

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clm1994
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No problem, here to help!
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louemma
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I just need to remember - sooo not probable. Think logically!

I hate being "that" girl who worries so much, but I am so working on getting better!

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KittenGoddess
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You're right, it isn't probably based on what you've said here.

Keep reassuring yourself that you are working on this anxiety and that you can eventually work through it.

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Sarah Liz

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louemma
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Okay. I'm trying.

How come there's that tiny part of me that thinks there's still a chance... I want that part to GO away!

My mom is helping me through it but she's to the point where she just says, "Emma you're really not pregnant, please try to relax." Because what else is there to say!

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naners123
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louemma,
hey girl. okay i am just like you! haha i read this and laughhed bescause we are so similar. 19 weeks ago my ex boyfriend fingered me and i am not sure if he had precum on his fingers. i have taken 17 pregnancy tests and had 5 periods. i worry like crazy! i come from a very religious family. and my boyfriend and i broke up around christmas so if i was pregnant i would be alone.

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louemma
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We are the same... but I haven't even taken a pregnancy test. I'm too scared to!
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naners123
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didnt you go to the doctor?
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louemma
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No my appointment is tomorrow, because I think I might have a bladder infection.
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naners123
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oh [Frown] let me know how it goes girl!
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clm1994
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louemma... like i had said, your chances of pregnancy seems very very slim. I worried about this same thing after light bleeding but it just turned out that I had a lighter peiod due to weight loss. I took 2 pregnancy tests anyways to get rid of my worriness and they both came back negaive. So if it will put you at ease, take one. They can be very inexpensive or you cn just askat the doctors but it may cost more. But like said, theres no wy you can be pregnant from what you have posted. The fact that you are on the pill and taking it within a few hours of the same time each day is considered a perfect pill user. So please relax, you are not pregnant.
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louemma
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Yeah it's no fun. HONESTLY this sucks. You know how it is.

But seriously.. 17 pregnancy tests... haha you're not pregnant.

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naners123
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yeahh [Frown] ( and hahaha i am still worried girl!
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clm1994
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a sign of thie worriness could mean you are not ready to be sexually active or that you would like to use more than one protection method. and louemma, clinics can give you free pregnancy tests sometimes. But theres no way your pregnant.
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louemma
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"I think I need to stop sexual contact.. for awhile at least. And to truly think about WHY I'm so afraid. Because logically, I think, it's not really probable that I'm pregnant. But then I think, oh wait but I COULD be! I just want to work on myself for awhile, and not have to worry about a sexual partner or sex in any way. It might be hard, but I think that and therapy and hanging around with my family and being open with everyone is the best I can do!"

I said this earlier clm1994, so I agree.

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clm1994
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Thats a very good idea. You always come before anyone else and dont forget that. So please relax because stress will only make it worse. After my scare, I decided to take a break also. An experiance like this can be traumatizing in a way and may us paranoid. But there's no need to worry. So focus on yourself for now and be optomistic that everything is okay.
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Rob328
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Hey louemma, I just want you to know that I understand your worries, because I have been suffering from that since 3 months ago. I've gone to a psicologist and he says I suffer anxiety too. The fact is that I fingered my girl (she had her panties on) and I can't remember if I had precum on, and an other day I dry humped with her and I came in my pants, she had her panties and pants too and I had boxer and pants. I've looked like at a 100 sites and just like you they tell me I'm crazy to even think a pregnancy is possible this way. My girl doesn't even know I am worried about this, she has already have 3 normal periods since then and I still have this worry. I sometimes can't sleep, my hands are sweaty all the time and my heart beats like crazy almost all day. Even if I'm a male, I can understand how you feel right now, here in scarleteen they've helped me and they say there wasn't any pregnancy risk in what we did. But for example, yesterday she told me that she was nauseated and thats when the "but she COULD be..." or the "what if some sperm traveled through the clothing" thougths come to my mind again. It is hell to live like this [Frown] I'm too stoping sexual contact, at least till I'm married or when I want to have a baby. I just hope this turns out ok, cuz even after 3 periods I can't calm down. Let me know hoe everything went, may God bless you...
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louemma
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I'm fine now guys.

I went to the doctor and I didn't even ask for a pregnancy test.

I need to absolutely, 100% stop this, and I know I can.

I'm already doing better.... and I will not not not let this control my life any longer.

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naners123
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good for you girl! [Smile] i am trying to stop worrying too. i am always here if you need anything. you can email me too if you want
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Stephanie_1
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Just heads up naners123: We actually don't allow users to pass e-mail addressed via ST, for your own safety.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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naners123
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hey louemma! how you doing girl? are you still scared?
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louemma
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Naners.... yeah I'm still scared. =/
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