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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » HMM COULD i BE PREGNANT?

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Author Topic: HMM COULD i BE PREGNANT?
Adaeze
Neophyte
Member # 60249

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Sooo, my boyfreind and I have known each other for some years now and we just started going out.
Now We've been together for a month as of now, but we had sex last week, for the first time. Now I was a virgin but he DEFINITELY wasnt a virgin. I mean he's not a dog but yea he's experienced. Anywho, when we had sex he didnt use a condom and from a no good friend, he thought I WASNT a virgin so the sex was kind of rough. By the end of it he had pulled out well before he came. Well that was almost two weeks ago and I've been feelig "gassy" lately and frequent bubblyness in my lower abdomen. Now I asked my nurse and he said I could be pregnant cause I have weight loss and my diet has decreased. I dont know what to do Im freaking out I dont want to be pregnant at all! and on top of that my period is suppose to be right around now but it hasnt come yet. Its suppose to be now and within the next few days. I have a pregnancy test but I dont want to take it this soon. What should I do? I have no one to talk to

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nonchalant teen

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, you did take risks of both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections in choosing not to use a condom or another form of contraception (as far as pregnancy goes). If your partner withdrew well before he ejaculated, your pregnancy risks were potentially not that high (your STI risks still were, though: that doesn't change that), but you did still have a risk.

If your period is already late, you can take that pregnancy test now. You'll also want to schedule tests for STIs soon and take care of those risks, as well.

If you're going to continue to be sexual with this partner, do you need help knowing how to best and better reduce the risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections? Do you understand the things you both need to do to do that?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Adaeze
Neophyte
Member # 60249

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Yea I understand, Thank you SOOO much!

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nonchalant teen

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Of course.

Do you want some help making different choices from here on in so that you are not taking risks you don't want to take?

In other words, do you know what you need to do to protect yourself from STIs with this partner? What about your options with contraception so that you're using a more reliable method of preventing pregnancy than withdrawal?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Adaeze
Neophyte
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Well from that point, I've stressed condoms. But I do feel nervous making him use them. How do I go about it?

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nonchalant teen

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, can I first ask why you feel like this is about you "making" him use them?

In other words, if he also wants to help prevent pregnancy and prevent sexually transmitted infections, he'll want to do the things that reduce those risks.

Has he refused to use condoms when you asked him to? Have you two talked about that, and have you set a clear limit that if you're going to have sex with someone, you need them to -- as you'd want to do for them -- help keep you both healthy by using condoms and also doing things like getting tested regularly?

Why do you feel nervous asking about condoms? What are you worried about in doing so?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Adaeze
Neophyte
Member # 60249

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Well the first time we did it he didnt use it, and the second he didnt seem to automatically want to use it, I brought it to his attention. No he hasnt refused to wear them, and yes we have slightly talked about it.
I think I feel nervous because I dont want him to feel like I dont trust him and we fight about it. I mean I've had other boyfriends but since he's my first and I connect with him better than anybody else, I feel that unless we have a serious falling out, I wont get over him if we break up.

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nonchalant teen

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Here's the thing: we can trust someone all we want, and they can be totally trustworthy, but that doesn't mean we won't get pregnant or won't get an STI. If someone has an infection, another person trusting them won't keep them from getting it. Trust doesn't reduce these risks, only certain behaviors do, like using condoms and getting tested.

And if this guy isn't a guy who puts condoms on and offer to use them? Then you can be pretty sure he hasn't with partners before, which means he probably poses a really high STI risk. Chances are also good he doesn't get tested: if he doesn't use condoms, he likely doesn't get tested, either.

If this guy or any other guy would break up with you because you don't want to get pregnant or get sick, can we agree that a guy like that isn't a good person to be with in the first place, since they're obviously not caring for you? Can you agree that someone refusing to care for you in those ways would BE a serious falling out?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Adaeze
Neophyte
Member # 60249

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Yea thats true, lol, Yea I can agree. You have a valid point. I guess I was waiting for a Mature answer, because my friends werent giving it. I really appreciate your guidance. And trust me, Im not the type of girl who doesnt take what you say into consideration. I guess I was just listening to my heart instead of my mind. I will tell him how I feel and carefully listen and watch his reaction, cause the reaction is key.

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nonchalant teen

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