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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » pregnancy test

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Author Topic: pregnancy test
ladiebugg
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I was reading a post on here about pregnancy test and how they work with HcG and that they are extremely sensitive. I was just wondering if there was anyway possible at all that a pregnancy test could be wrong 2 or 3 months into a pregnancy? Is that even possible?
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Heather
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False negatives do happen, and yes, that is possible, but it's not all that common.

However, if it's been two or three months for someone without periods who did have a pregnancy risk, but is getting negatives from EPTs, we'd suggest they test with their doctor.

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ladiebugg
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How is it possible? If a woman's hcg doubles every48-72 hours how can a test not pick it up after three months? Is that something wrong with the test itself?
I'm sorry for so many questions I'm just don't understand how hpt and HcG and all that works.

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ladiebugg
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I don't mean to bother and I'm really sorry for nagging but I'd really like to know how it's possible to not test positive after 2 or 3 months. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I still feel bad for posting again.
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CJT
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It would more likely be due to user error in the case described above. Testing with a doctor would take that factor out of the picture.

Also, even if you were not pregnant, but your period was missing for several months, there could be other health or life issues at hand that a doctor could help detect and talk about with you.

If this is a concern for you still we can talk more about it if that would be helpful.

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ladiebugg
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Well I have seen a doctor and he told me because of my low weight I wasn't having a period. He ran a blood test and I had low estrogen and right now I'm taking vitamins and getting higher fat foods. I have an appointment on the 28th with a gynecologist to do some more test and have an exam. I went from December to March without a period but got it at the end of March.

I know it sounds crazy but every now and then I can't fight the nagging feeling that the tests are wrong or that it wasn't actually my period but I know that's just being a little paranoid.

So, if I know I did the test right, I can be sure the results are accurate?

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orca
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Hi ladiebugg. I hear you expressing a lot of anxiety about being pregnant, despite multiple negative pregnancy tests and having a period. Is there something else going on that could be contributing to how you're feeling? Was the sexual activity that happened consentual?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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ladiebugg
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Well I don't know if I would say it was unconsentual, I think I just more wasn't ready at the time. I mean, I was kind of pressured into it in a way. I had mixed feelings and was scared and didn't know what to do or think I guess. I feel bad for taking your guyes time with this, I'm just being silly and I'm sure there are other important issues you need to spend you time with. I'm sorry for pestering you with this.
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orca
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Sweetie, you're not being silly, nor are you pestering us. Do you want to talk about what happened?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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ladiebugg
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Well I wrote into the "In Your Own Words" a few days ago because I just wanted to kind of get it out I guess. In a nut shell, I was messing around with a guy I really cared about but told him I didn't know if I wanted to go all the way and he just told me we would take things slowly and we continued to mess around and then he tried to have sex with me but I stopped him after he penitrated because he didn't have a condom and I didn't want to have a risk of a pregnancy or anything because I knew I would worry about it.

There are times we're I feel perfectly fine and am completely convinced I'm not pregnant but then one little thing will make me go back to thinking I'm pregnant even though I know I can't be. I don't know why I keep thinking I could be pregnant. Before all this I used to be a very realistic person and now I just focus on little details that could possibly be a some what of a sign and it's driving me crazy. I hate it. And I don't know how to make myself stop thinking I could be pregnant.

It's like, I think "ok all the test are negative, but maybe they're wrong or I did them wrong or I can't see the line" Or I think "I had my period, I can't be pregnant. But then my mind plays tricks on me and is like Well it could be vaginal bleeding while pregnant" Then I think "well that was a long time ago, if I was pregnant, I would be showing by now. But there are some people that doesn't show until a long ways into a pregnancy, maybe I'm one of them"

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orca
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I read through that piece (hope you don't mind), and what I got from it was that you felt somewhat betrayed by someone you thought was your friend, someone you trusted. Does this feel about right?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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ladiebugg
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Oh no I don't mind at all. If I mind that people read something, I wouldn't post it on the internet. I do feel hurt by the whole situation. I kind of feel used in a way. I don't think his intention was to just use me but it kind of made me question the character of all the people I thought I knew well.
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orca
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ladiebugg, it's two hours later for me, so I'm going to head off to bed, but I'll check back in the morning and other volunteers may have more to add.

Often when we experience situations where we are not entirely in control or when someone takes our control, our power away from us, it can make us feel that we have no control in the rest of our lives as well. Do you think that perhaps part of why you are so worried about pregnancy is because you felt you didn't have control over the sex act, and now you worry that maybe you don't even have control over your own body?

I am sorry that you're hurting, that you feel used, and that you are now questioning those around you. If it helps to know, that questioning is very common after someone hurts us in that way. What do you think might help you feel more secure around all your other friends?

Also, what's happened since then with this guy? Do you still keep in contact with him? Have you thought about talking to a counsellor about what's been going on and how you've been feeling, including these pregnancy fears?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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ladiebugg
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Thanks for all you're help and concern. I feel better knowing that theres someone I can talk to you and I grealy greatly appreciate you taking the time.

It's kind of funny, for lack of a better term, that you mention being "out of control" because the majority of my friends call me a control freak and I do like staying in control of situations. So, what you said about not being in control then has caused me to feel like I can't control what's going on right now is true.

I just wish I knew for 100% sure that I wasn't pregnant and that I can move on with this whole idiotic situation. I mean, I try to convince myself that I'm for sure not pregnant. I try to tell myself that even the doctor said I had low estrogen when he did a blood test to check my thyroid and that when you're pregnant you're estrogen increases but no matter what I keep getting that nagging feeling of being pregnant.

Sense then him and I talk occationally but not all too often. After he left to head back to training we started talking less and less. I try to keep things light hearted and easy going when talking to him and we never bring up what happened.

About the counsellor, my mom suggesting it once. She doesn't know about what happened with the guy or the pregnancy fears because, to be honest, I'm afraid to tell her. She's noticed a change in my mood and has commented on me maybe having some type of horonal imbalance because I go from being happy and easy going to distanted and quiet. I have an appointment with a gynecologest at the end of the month and then after that my mom said she may look into someone I could talk to openly but I don't know.

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orca
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What do you think might help you to feel more in control of yourself, your body, your life again? One thing that I can see might help would be choosing who you are and are not friends with, and perhaps by starting with that guy. I understand how awkward it is to talk about what happened, but in order to continue the friendship and move forward (if you still want to remain friends with him, which I might suggest giving some serious thought to), it would help to "clear the air" and discuss what happened and how it made you feel. When we bury big, important things like that, they tend to find their way back to the surface, and often in not so healthy ways like anger and resentment.

What other things do you have going on in your life? Do you go to school or work? Do you have any hobbies? What about your social circle? Also (and sorry for so many questions!), why do you feel you can't talk to your mother about what's been going on?

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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ladiebugg
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There's no need to apologize for asking too many questions, you deal with a million questions being thrown your way all the time, I think I can handle a few in order to help me [Wink]

I'm not quite sure what would make me feel more in control. I think going to the gynecologist at the end of the month and hearing from her that I know for 110% sure I'm not pregnant would significantly help.

The ironic thing is I was actually talking to him earlier today and told him about the anxiety I was feeling and what was going on. I told him it's been effecting me a lot and that I have been really worried about it. He told me he wished I would have told him that earlier, he would have tried to talk to me about it more. The conversation kind of ended awkwardly and I don't know if we're going to really continue talking or being friends. He's coming back home in a few weeks and I just feel like I need to talk to him one last time in person to get that closure.

I'm currently a full time student in my freshman year of college. I don't have a job at the moment but have been working on getting one. Hm hobbies, I like to go on walks or light jobs, I enjoy photography and playing on photoshop, my guilty pleasure is I'm obsessed with my wii and all the kiddy games to go along with it [Razz] . I have a really close knit social circle. I have three best friends that I would trust with anything in my life and then just a select few normal friends that I see occationally.

Well my mother is really supportative and I know if I told her she would be disappointed in way but understand, I'm just don't want to disappoint her. I come from a rather conversative, or "old fashion" like family and honestly, I'm kind of afraid of what her first reaction would be. I know if I had to tell her, I could and she would still support and love me, but I just don't have the guts to right now.

You have no idea how much talking to you has helped me. Seriously, before this I just felt like no one knew or cared and that I was just over reacting and being stupid but just getting it out and hearing the feedback from you has helped a million times over. Thank you so much. You're a wonderful person.

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orca
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You know, reading that actually made my day, possibly week. [Smile] I'm glad that talking about it here has been helpful. From what you've said about your friends and your mother, I'm sure there are a lot of people who care about you and care more than you think. I understand that it's not easy to come out and talk to those people who are close to you, that there is some fear of changing the image they have of you. But the ones who are your friends, the ones who really do care about you and love you, they're not going to think badly of you or be upset with you. If they're going to be upset with anyone or think badly of anyone, then it would be that guy, not you. I'm not saying you have to tell them; that's your decision and something to do if/when you feel ready. I do hope, though, that if/when you are ready to open up about it, you will find a lot of support and love.

If you do end up having that conversation with him in person, I do suggest taking certain precautions as it seems he's shown himself to not be the most trustworthy person. That would include letting a close friend or family member know where you're going, who you'll be with, and when you expect to come home, as well as meeting someplace that's at least semi-public, and getting your own transportation to and from the meeting. I don't say that to frighten you or make you feel paranoid or anxious. I say that because he's already pressured you before, and it's never a bad idea to play it a little safe when meeting someone to discuss a serious issue.

In terms of finding ways to gain back that feeling of control of your life, a lot of people find creative work to be helpful as you're the one who gets to make the decisions with it. You mention doing photography, so that might be a great way to both meditate and practice some of that decision-making. [Smile] I'm guessing you're at that point in college where people are telling you what to major in and so forth, right? (Or maybe you're like me and you've already changed your major twice in your freshman year and added a couple of minors. [Wink] ) I think that could be another chance for you to really grab hold of things and decide for yourself what it is you want to do and where you want to go. I'm going to think on this some more, and maybe others will have some great suggestions.

[ 04-08-2009, 12:29 AM: Message edited by: orca ]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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ladiebugg
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One of my best friends knows everything about my anxiety and fears and I know he won't judge me. One day I may talk to my family about what happened but I just don't think I'm ready to open up to them right now, at least not just yet.

I think you're suggestion about meeting in a public place is very wise. I really don't think he would try to do anything but I don't want to take the chance.

Haha yeah I have changed major already a few times xD I talked to a counsellor at the school about majors and we did an assessment about my personality and interest and it said I should really concider looking into the sciences and medical fields. If you don't mind me asking, what did you major in? My sister just finished her masters in English and shes encouraged me to talk to other people that have gone to school and find out what they majored in and how well they like it.

I know I've kind of ground this into the dirt but I've come to feel closer to you than some of the other volunteers here, not that I don't appreciate all the help they've done, but I've talked with you more. In your opinion, do you think there is any reason to worry about being pregnant still? I mean after talking to you I kind of realize how wild of an idea that is after this much time and evidence against it, right?

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orca
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For some people, those assessments can be helpful in exploring some different career options, but I think in the end you just have to go with what you're passionate about. That may take some trial and error, and even going back to school 5, 10, even 20 years down the line. But ignoring all the "you should do this" or "I think you'd be a terrific ____" can be a good start to finding what it is you want to do. (I only found that one out the hard way after picking a major I was miserable in because I wanted to impress my family.)

What I did (and this may not be the best way to go about it because I'm looking at a few extra courses after I graduate next spring, unless I can pull some magic tricks) was take classes that seemed interesting to me but weren't necessarily working toward my core. So basically, the intro courses in a few different fields (psychology, sociology, comm arts, writing). From those classes, and a really great advisor, I was finally able to figure out halfway through my second year that I wanted to do writing, that that's what I'm really passionate about and what I want to do with my life, at least in some form. I have more interests than just writing, though, so I am also taking a couple of minors.

You do want to make sure you get your core classes out of the way, though, or you might end up scrambling to finish them in your final year (assuming you're at a college that has a core requirement). But if you have time for it (and this is where your advisor is going to come in handy), minors can be a really great way to get a slightly more in-depth study of a particular field without driving yourself crazy by trying to do a double major. Then again, some other people might say that a double major is the best thing to do even if it takes you an extra year. But all of this is going to change depending on who you talk to and what their experience is/was. Do you have an advisor? Or a faculty member that you like and whose opinion you trust?

As for the pregnancy, it seems that all the evidence is strongly pointing to you not being pregnant. And you have to figure that by this time, it'd be pretty obvious that you were pregnant. I do feel, however, that there is a reason why you're feeling this worried about a pregnancy, and I feel that reason stems a lot from what happened between you and that guy and that what you described as happening didn't sound consentual. I think it's worth exploring how and why you are feeling this way and maybe gaining some support in person, because while I'm glad to talk to you more about this, I know it feels a hell of a lot better to have someone there with you to give you a hug when you need it.

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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ladiebugg
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Right now I go to a local community college so I'm only really taking core classes. Taking a few different intro classes does sound like a good idea though. I'm in anthropology right now and find it quite interesting and was considering looking into it a bit farther. I don't have one advisor that I'm assigned to or anything. Normally, you just go into the student center and talk to which ever one is open.

Thank you so much for your opinion on it. I think you're right. I think in my mind I know I'm not pregnant, I just know I can't be. I don't quite know why I'm obsessing over the possibilty of being pregnant so much. Maybe it's my way of realizing what happened, like if I'm pregnant that makes what happened real. Does that make sense? I really don't know why I'm so worried.

I forgot to mention earlier that while I was talking to him yesterday, I asked how long before what happened with us did he masterbate or anything and he told me a long time before. So that would mean that whatever precum was there, wouldn't have been likely to have sperm in it right?

Oh and one last thing. I went to one of my best friends house today and spilled my guts out to her about this whole situation and how I was feeling and after she got done threatening to hurt the guy, she assured me everything was ok and that she would always been there for me anytime of the day and I do feel better talking about it face to face with someone.

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ladiebugg
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So, I was sitting in class today not paying attention and I was thinking. There is no way at this point, being sense Decemember, that a pregnancy test could be wrong if I know I did it right. Out of a little bit of fear and curiousity I took another pregnancy test earlier this morning and it was negative.

I was also thinking, and I don't know if this is rational or not, but I thought maybe I'm so afraid of being pregnant because then I would have to have him back in the center of my life and I would always be connected to him in some way. There would be no way I could avoid him in the future. Sorry about posting so often, I just had those thoughts in school today and wanted to get them out there. [Smile]

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