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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Teenage telling their parents they're pregnant.

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Author Topic: Teenage telling their parents they're pregnant.
Typical Young and Dumb Teenager?
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I'm a sophomore in high school, and I've seen quite a few girls get pregnant and have their babies in the last year and half- all of which have kept their children. In fact, I know three girls who have gotten pregnant in the last two or three months- none were planned.

How would/did you go about telling your parents? Would you consider an abortion (saying that you are pregnant at a teenager)? Who would you tell first, second, and third?

I know a couple who found out the girl was pregnant about a month ago; it wasn't until two weeks later that both their parents found out, because one of the boy's friend's parents told his mom, who then confronted him about it.

The reason I ask is because I'm afraid I might be, but I guess I don't find any reason to worry right now because what's done, is done; although, I really, really wish I would just start my period tonight/tomorrow like I'm suppose to! (Take a test to find out for sure; I know, I know. I really just don't want to know. It would be a nightmare in my eyes right now!) But how did/would you go about everything?

[ 02-17-2009, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: Typical Young and Dumb Teenager? ]

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Young and Dumb.
"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." - Keith Urban

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bluejumprope
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quote:
Would you consider an abortion (saying that you are pregnant at a teenager)
In case you were implying only teenagers get abortions, I wanted to clarify that that's not the case.

Here are some stats from All About Abortion :

* about 80% of women who abort are over 18 and unmarried
* by the age of 45 about one in every three women will have had an abortion
* the majority of women who have abortions -- about 6 in 10 -- are already mothers
* the majority of women who have abortions do intend to bear and rear children in the future
* the majority of women who have abortions subscribe to religious beliefs, and 70% or more of those women are members of Judeo-Christian and Catholic religions

quote:
But how did/would you go about everything?
This scenario is pretty unlikely for me considering I'm almost exclusively attracted to women, but I'd like to think it out anyway...

Oy vey, I don't want to be pregnant. OK, so I have sex with a man (or get raped by a man) and then I find out I'm pregnant. The first three people I'd tell would be: my partner, my therapist, and an older woman who is a healer and mentor (she's also a midwife, and would be particularly reassuring for me). I'd probably be talking about it on Scarleteen pretty quickly too. I'd schedule an abortion as soon as possible.

Even though my parents would be very supportive of my getting an abortion, I don't think I'd tell either of them about a pregnancy if it was the result of consensual sex. But, I'm also 21, living in a different state and would be able to pay for the abortion myself. It would be different if I were living with either of them and didn't have the resources to get an abortion alone.

On second thought, I might tell my parents now. If I didn't tell them before the abortion, I'd likely tell them in the weeks after--but it would depend on how our relationship was going at the time. If I was raped, my parents would be bumped up to the first few people I'd tell.

[ 02-17-2009, 07:01 PM: Message edited by: bluejumprope ]

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without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

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Capucine
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Well I'm in college, not high school, and I got pregnant in the summer, right after winter 08 classes had ended. I was 19 then, and spent a good 2 months alternating between panic and stone cold denial. I told no one of my fears, I barely even addmitted it to myself. It took a simple comment from my dad about not 'buring my head in the sand' in regards to my baaad chemistry grade for me to bite the bullet and buy a pegnancy test.

It was positive, and my mind went blank for a good five minutes before I called my boyfriend and told him. After that I googled google for the closest place to get an abortion, and found a planned parenthood. I made an appointment the next morning.

I considered abortion to be the only option for me because being preggers for any length of time or having a baby right then was not on the game plan and mentally, I wouldn't have been able to cope. I also didn't really have to face a moral dilema about it.

I never told any of my friends or my parents, and I still haven't. Being 19 and away at my college appartment for the summer gave me the liberly of being able to do everything in secret. I'm not really sure what I would have done if this had happened to me in high school.

I definatly do not reccoment 2 months of panic though. Bad for the blood pressure! Better to take a test now and know, even if it tells you what you don't want to hear.

[ 02-17-2009, 07:14 PM: Message edited by: Capucine ]

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*Hello Pussycat* -Peter O'Toole

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Mortality
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I don't know if this thread really applies to me.. I don't live in the US and here if a teenager goes to the doctor for a pregnancy test and that test is positive, the doctor will pretty much ask "so when do you want to have an abortion?" It's kinda just assumed that a teenager won't keep it.

I know I would have an abortion... I'm at uni now and I wanna finish my education before I even think about having kids.

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Typical Young and Dumb Teenager?
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quote:
Originally posted by bluejumprope:
[QB] [QUOTE]Would you consider an abortion (saying that you are pregnant at a teenager) In case you were implying only teenagers get abortions, I wanted to clarify that that's not the case.

Here are some stats from All About Abortion :

* about 80% of women who abort are over 18 and unmarried
* by the age of 45 about one in every three women will have had an abortion
* the majority of women who have abortions -- about 6 in 10 -- are already mothers
* the majority of women who have abortions do intend to bear and rear children in the future
* the majority of women who have abortions subscribe to religious beliefs, and 70% or more of those women are members of Judeo-Christian and Catholic religions

Actually, I was trying to ask if TEENAGERS (because I'm a teenager now) have, would, or did consider an abortion if and when they found out that they were pregnant. Not saying implying that older people don't get abortions, too..

[ 02-20-2009, 07:10 AM: Message edited by: Typical Young and Dumb Teenager? ]

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Young and Dumb.
"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." - Keith Urban

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StrangePudding
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If I got pregnant the first person I'd tell would be my partner. In fact, I'd probably tell him about the very first signs of worry I'd have, and get him to help me buy the test, and probably also have him be present when I get the results.

Most likely, the next people I would tell would be my two best friends, neither of whom live close by. At that point I'd likely be freaking a little, so I'd just need some time to calm down before I told anyone else, and I know I can trust them to not blab to everyone.

Next, we'd probably tell my boyfriend's parents. His sister had a baby at 19 or 20, unmarried, so they've been through this situation before. They're also a lot less scary and a lot less bible-thumping than my parents.

Only after all of that, when I felt I had the proper emotional support in place, would I tell my parents. That would likely be a few days after I got the test results, but maybe as long as a week or two.

I wouldn't consider having an abortion. One of those things my bible-thumping parents drilled in to me is that life starts from conception, and I do still believe that. I know it's everyone's own choice, and I support choice, but it could not be a choice I would make. I know my partner would never support me having an abortion, either, just because he is so in love with children (in a not-creepy way). The thought of any abortion makes him sad (he supports choice, but that doesn't mean he likes abortion), and if I aborted part of him he would probably feel so betrayed that we couldn't continue to be a couple. I absolutely couldn't keep something like that from him, so doing it without him knowing is out of the question. I would feel like I was betraying him, too.

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moonlight bouncing off water
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If I got pregnant accidentally I'm not sure whom I would tell first. It would really depend on whether I was in a serious relationship with the guy who got me pregnant , or if it had been a one night stand/ we were no longer together (I have trouble picturing both of these cases since I am not really attracted to males). Assuming I was still with the guy who's baby I was pregnant with I would probably tell him first, then my parents. Or perhaps vice-versa, I would tell them now first, but this is simply because I've never dated, I do not know how my priorities would change with a BF or GF. Secondly I would probably tell my friends and my little sister. But in all honesty, I'm not entirely sure of all this, I would be scared as h*** and probably not thinking rationally.

As per abortion; I would not have one. I'm not sure where I stand on the issue of where life begins, but that doesn't really matter to me. The big deal for me would be continuing on my genetic lineage. I feel very deeply that it is important to carry on my genes, to carry on what me can exist after death (I am an atheist, so to me my descendants are the only after-life, the only part of me that will continue on). I also love the idea of being pregnant. The idea of a child growing inside of me, that closeness, that connection seems so precious.

I don't know whether I would give the baby up for adoption or not. I cannot bear the idea of giving up a piece of me to other humans, but I would have to think of what would be best for myself and the baby. I would do all that I could to keep the baby, but if it would be a bad idea for either of us I would, reluctantly, give up the baby for adoption. I know I would have my parents' support no matter what I chose, abortion included, so that does make the idea easier. I know that for certain that if I chose adoption, I would have to be able to get to know my child.

If the pregnancy were a result of rape my reaction would be entirely different. Abortion would be the only option I would conciser. I could not bear the 10 months with part of the monster who raped me growing inside of me. In this instance if I could bring myself to, I would tell my parents, then immediately get an abortion. If not I would get the abortion, then tell them when I was comfortable.

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~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

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Animica
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If I started having symptoms of pregnancy, I'd probably take my boyfriend along with me to buy some HPTs. After me, he'd be the one looking at the results. If positive, I'd probably freak, since I'm not ready for a child right now. I would tell my two closes friends, then, and it would be after I've had time to calm down and accept the truth. I'd tell my parents eventually, but I'd have to gather a lot of courage for it. I don't have much communication with my parents when it comes to personal subjects, so it would be very awkward.

As for abortion, I think I could consider it, but it'd take a great deal of thinking, and I'd talk about it with my boyfriend first. If in the end I decided to keep the baby, I don't think I'd give it up for adoption willingly, though if circumstances require it, I would.

If pregnancy were a result of rape, I'd more likely favor an abortion, but it'd be a difficult decision to make as well.

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