Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Even Sexperts Need EC Sometimes

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Even Sexperts Need EC Sometimes
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
(I may well blog all of this sometime in the next few weeks, depending on what happens, but I thought as it happens, it might be helpful for some users just to see one person's individual experiences with emergency contraception, a condom failure and a pregnancy scare. So, as I am often enough, consider me your guinea pig. As well, I think it can be a comfort to be reminded that this stuff happens even to those of us who work in this field and know how to, and do, use everything properly. Hope it's helpful to someone, even though I'm obviously in a different space in my life and my age than most of you.

I am being very transparent here about this: obviously, it's pretty loaded for someone known to make public a scare and the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy and intend to keep it all public. So, I just ask for the same kind of respect we afford all of you with these things, and perhaps a little extra latitude in some ways, since I'm without the kind of anonymity each of you has here.)


Tuesday, February 3rd, evening:
Well, damn.

I have never actually had a condom break, but the couple times condoms have failed me over the years, it's been like this, where my vagina just seems to decide it wants to steal the darn thing right at the worst possible moment.

At this time in my life, condoms are -- as they have been for the majority of my life, sparing a bunch of years in high school and college on the pill -- my primary method of BC. Sometimes I also back up with a diaphragm, but I don't like to use them when traveling because I tend to be inclined to bladder issues on planes and the diaphragm can irritate those now and then. I also chart fairly regularly and keep notes, so I have a pretty good idea of when I'm most likely to be fertile, and tend to try and avoid intercourse, period, just before and around the day of my most likely fertile day.

It should perhaps also be noted that I know at this time, have for years, that should I become accidentally pregnant, I both intend to terminate and also have what I need to have in place to make that happen financially and logistically in case it has to.

Anyway, it becomes clear that a failure has happened, and we go condom-spelunking. Always a sexy endeavor (not). It does appear that the ejaculate is all inside of the condom still, however, given how deep it went -- the rim was very much NOT on the outside of my vagina, but so deep in it may as well have been in my throat -- and what futzing around we had to do to get it out, as well as the fact that neither myself nor either of my partners want a pregnancy -- something both sets of us discussed in advance of any sex that could create one -- Plan B is in order.

I'm out of town, but I have a couple packs at home, where I'll be in less than 24 hours. Since it is already there and paid for (I'm covered under the contraception program for our state, so it's actually free for me, which is great), since based on my fairly regular charting I do appear to be a day or so past my peak fertility time (and several years past my peak fertility years, to say the least, which makes me feel a bit better about only being a day or so past my peak day), and it still will be just around 24 hours, when it's best to take it and well within the ideal 72 hour window, I decide to wait until I get home. Were any of those factors different, I would have just sucked it up and gone out and bought it somewhere right then and there.

Note to self: you were smart in having it around, already in your medicine cabinet, just in case. Good job. However, it would have been even smarter to have it with you in your safer sex kit where it usually lives, and checking in advance next time before you go somewhere would be wise.

I'm also trying to remind myself that given more than two decades of sexual activity and a very busy sex life, I have been lucky (mind, I've also been very prepared, but still, luck is also a factor) in only having to deal with this a couple of times. This happens, and for plenty of women, happens more frequently than it has for me with them having far less times when it could have.

Wednesday, February 4th, around 24 hours later
Took the first pill. I'm not taking them both at once because hormones tend to be something my body deeply dislikes, and appears to often have a slight allergy to. Nausea from them seems likely, given the experience I had trying Plan B as a guinea pig when it first came out, so I don't want to take both at once.

Thursday, February 5th, morning
Didn't sleep well, have a migraine brewing I knew I'd probably get (I tend to with any kind of BC hormones, even the non-estrogens, which Plan B is), and yep, am nauseated as heck. I took the second pill an hour or so ago, and it's stayed down, which is good.

Like nearly everyone having a possible pregnancy risk who does not want to become pregnant, I'm anxious and expect that time will pass in the very slow way over the next couple weeks that it tends to in this scenario. I'm not expecting my period until around the 16th or 17th, and of course, that seems like a long way away from today. I'm having discussions and meditations with my body about this -- as I tend to, which some people would consider kooky, but others, particularly those who talk about conscious conception, put a good deal of stock in -- and what I do and do not want, about how I have respect for the process of conception and what the body tries to do, but about how at this time (heck, for me, in this life, I think), while I respect the process, I am not welcome to the possible product and hope my mind, heart and body can all get on board with that.

Here's hoping. Now it's just the waiting game.

Friday, February 6th
Yesterday morning I felt pretty nauseated, but that passed for the most part by late in the day. I was tired in the evening, but didn't feel as lousy as I did the last time I used EC.

Today, I'm feeling a bit dizzy now and then, but it's nothing unmanageable. I am glad, though, that I'm working from home today.

I forgot to mention that both of us were already checked in on possible STI risks. I'm current with all of my screenings as of November, and he's been current with all of his and we're right around that six-month point between the two of us when it comes to previous partners, save that because I am in an open relationship, the status of my other partner is not a non-issue. He's due for another round of testing himself soon, anyway, and the partner I had the risk with also had already had a new screening scheduled for the upcoming week. I'll likely just wait a month or so on my end then just go ahead and get another screening myself to be safe.

Tuesday, February 10th
It's pretty much been a whole lot of nothing the last couple of days besides everyone's (not-so) favorite waiting game. Good times.

Wednesday, February 11th
I didn't sleep well last night, and woke up way too early this morning feeling very nauseated. Obviously, because of the hyperemesis I have gotten in the past, nausea around day 9 or 10 makes me exceptionally nervous.

I remind myself that I could be feeling like this for any number of reasons: from the Plan B last week, from nerves, from the cabbage and lentils I ate last night, from some virus or another.

I'm not going to take a test until the 15th, unless this nausea continues, particularly since I have also dealt with (oh, the fun of my reproductive history!) a possible chemical pregnancy before, where I got a positive result, then clearly the egg didn't implant, or I just didn't keep carrying and miscarried very, very early in the game. I don't need to see a positive if I don't actually have one.

The talk I am having with my body today is one of irritation. I had a pregnancy (and miscarriage) at 16, one at 22, a maybe a couple years after, then NOTHING until the chemical/miscarriage a couple years ago. Now this. Mind, in that span of years where I didn't have anything like this happen, plenty of them were spent with female partners rather than male, but still, at my age, this stuff happening again now is seriously silly and really nonproductive. Grrrr. (Let me also add that this in the context of a currently open relationship is it's own special kind of complicated.)

I'm hanging in, though, and doing my best not to get too nervous about it all.

Thursday, February 12th
...and still with the nausea. Bad for my belly, bad for my nerves. And it's a clinic day, so I get to go spend all day with a bunch of other nauseated women. Hooray!

Sunday, February 15th
...the clinic was even less lovely than usual, since I had to counsel two women in there due to a condom slip or break AND Plan B. Talk about nervewracking!

However, a few more days of nausea later, I took a test which was negative on the same day I started bleeding. I'm going to presume it to be my period, since it was due in the next couple days anyway: at most, I'm a day early.

I think it's pretty safe to say, now, that my nausea was due to one or more of the following: the Plan B, which I know I tend to react to badly, a stomach bug everyone around seems to be getting and/or my nerves. I'm actually betting on all three.

However, still a bit nauseated and now with cramps en route, I have to say I feel better than I have in the last two weeks. [Smile]

[ 02-15-2009, 01:29 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
Activist
Member # 29292

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cool87         Edit/Delete Post 
As I've already adressed elsewhere, I hope that things go alright for you Heather.

I don't know if this thread was also meant to give us, volunteers and users, a place too to share our own experience with EC ? If so, I'd also be willing I think to be transparent about it as you were.

--------------------
Sustain Scarleteen by donating
http://www.scarleteen.com/donate.html

Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mortality
Activist
Member # 35831

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mortality     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Good luck! I hope you don't end up pregnant!

I don't have Plan B at home, but I'm a maximum of an hour away from a 24hours open pharmacy and here in Sweden you can buy them over the counter. So I feel safe enough with that.

Posts: 122 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Idir
Activist
Member # 41176

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Idir     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oh, that sucks...
I hope that everything ends up OK for you [Frown]

--------------------
I know there is an over the rainbow for me.

Posts: 84 | From: Algeria | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
(By all means, if others want to talk about their previous or current experiences with EC or a condom failure, feel free. I've no need for a monopoly on this. [Smile] )

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

Icon 1 posted      Profile for orca     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Heather, I hope you're feeling better. Sorry to add my own sympathy and good wishes so late, but you have been in my thoughts these past couple days (in the noncreepy way; geez, it's so hard to be sincere on the internet without sounding like a creep).

I've never used EC before, but I had a difficult experience in high school when I tried to get it. Despite saying over and over why we needed to use condoms because I was on antibiotics that may interfere with my pills, my boyfriend at the time decided that was all BS that doctors like to say to scare people and help out condom manufacturers and he knew better. So, big pregnancy scare for me, and I end up spending a couple of hours in his car, parked in front of my parents' house, going through the phone book. (I'll edit out the hours spent crying.) I wasn't even sure what I was looking for, but I called up every number I could find for "women" and "clinic." None of them sold EC or told me how I could get EC, and they were pretty damn rude about it, too. ("Hi, um, do you sell the morning after pill?" "No." "Oh.... Do you know where I can get it?" "No. *click*")

The idea of searching online for a PP or even going to a PP never occurred to me because I didn't even think my city had one (we do, and I now know the location; ironically, it was just down the street from my high school). This was either 2004 or 2005, so before the FDA ruling allowing EC to be sold OTC. Anyway, I never did get EC, but I got lucky and didn't get pregnant either.

Oh, and something really cool: my state not only has a plan for women in a certain income bracket to help with the cost of family planning (including contraceptives, both hormonal and nonhormonal, and abortion services), but we also air commercials about how to get EC. Neat, huh? (I should say that the reason that's so cool to me is because I live in the bible belt and last I checked there aren't too many states that offer those kinds of inclusive plans.) Could've used that about 4 years ago, though.

[ 02-06-2009, 03:45 PM: Message edited by: orca ]

--------------------
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
Activist
Member # 29292

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cool87         Edit/Delete Post 
I've had to use EC a couple times in the past, not because of condom failure but in most cases, because one of my ex partner didn't want to wear a condom and I was relying on the condom alone as a birth control method at that time so EC was pretty much my only option as I didn't want to become pregnant.

I was coerced into sex with him (which was also unprotected) multiple times and when I would say no to sex, he'd get mad and angry at me so I gave in. He didn't care about me, this was an abusive relationship both psychologically and sexually. I did stay in this relationship even though for some time because I was scared of the reaction he might have if I left him. I wish I had left this relationship earlier.

[ 02-06-2009, 05:19 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

--------------------
Sustain Scarleteen by donating
http://www.scarleteen.com/donate.html

Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stephanie_1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 36725

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Stephanie_1     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I’ve only taken EC one time, and while the reason was that the condom broke – it was because it hadn’t been used properly. I was in a relationship with a guy that was short tempered and would switch punishing me between hitting me – which was always a more immediate action, and using sex as a way to hurt me – which involved no time for me physically to be ready to have sex, and no lubricant because that was only used when he wanted sex to be enjoyable, and me emotionally not on board.

While I had been lucky not to have them fail more than once in these situations, we did have one break – which didn’t stop him despite any risks. I spent the night crying, and he finally took me to see a doctor in the morning so I would “Come off it.” He sat in the room with me – the perfect picture of a supportive boyfriend. For someone whose hormones are always so off the wall on their own, taking the EC made me very ill. Probably the most supportive comment that came my way is a toss up between how next time I wouldn’t make him hurt me like that and not to throw up in his car.

I was so relieved to be home where my mom took care of me and the “flu” I told her I’d caught from friends. After this point he always used lubricant no matter what the circumstances were – because he “Couldn’t deal with listening to the crying and whining until Mother Nature decided it was time to do her job.”

[ 02-06-2009, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: Stephanie_1 ]

--------------------
"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

Icon 1 posted      Profile for orca     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
(cool, Stephanie, just wanted to send both of you big hugs.)

--------------------
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
...and that'd pretty much be the end of this tale for me. Which is the greatness.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I realized that I forgot to add that the secondary partner this happened with stepped up right away and got retested for everything per STIs, and we got the results back last week while we were out of town together, all negative.

So, now that REALLY is the end of this particular scare.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About MeGet our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3