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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » lost baby

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Author Topic: lost baby
Member # 9688

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i was 11 weeks pregnant when i went to the er for bleeding. they said everything was ok. a week later i went back for abdominal pain. they told me that it was a sign of miscarriage. that was the 25th. went to the doctor the 28th everything was fine. baby was moving and had a strong heart beat. my water broke at 4:30am on the 30th. 3 months along. went to the doctor for ultrasound. no fluid was left. i had two choices, wait till i miscarry or have a d and c done. i chose to get it over with. i chose a d and c. we just had to wait for the baby to die. the baby struggled. it breaks me heart. went for another ultrasound last night. so between 3pm and 7:30pm my baby died. i go in tomorrow for the d and c. the only thing i have to remember the baby is 2 ultrasound pictures from the 28th. i have 6 month old son and me and his father just got married 2 months ago. this is supposed to be a happy time. i don't know how i'm gonna cope with this when i'm a stay at home mom. i take care of my son everyday while his father works. any advice on how to cope with a "spontanious miscarriage"?
Posts: 9 | From: Reynoldsburg, Ohio, USA | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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Hi there, sweetbabygurl.

Unfortuneatly, i may be of little help to you ... I personally have never had a miscarriage, and have no personal experience. But i'm going to try.

Do you have any support at home? How are your husband and other family members handling this? Do you feel comfortable talking to them? Are they able to support you at this time?

We have a thread here for women who have suffered miscarriages. Feel free to read through, and add to it, if you like.

Finally, your doctor/nurses should be able to provide some support to you before and after your D&C, as well as provide some resources for you in your community. I've looked online, but i couldn't find anything. You may be able to get some personal counseling, or participate in support groups, if you're interested.

Hang in there.

[ 08-31-2006, 09:36 PM: Message edited by: LilBlueSmurf ]

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mrs fantabuler
Member # 30626

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First off, i would like to say that i am terribly sorry about your miscarriage.

But look on the bright side, you still have your six month old son. Spend time with him, and day by day, you'll get better.

And of course, there's family support. Look to your mother, father, aunts, uncles, cousins, ect. for support. Go visit them or invite them over and spend time together. Also, there's your husband. I'm sure if you spent some quality time with him and your son, life would seem much better. It'll help you get your mind off the miscarriage and help you see the brighter side of life.

Posts: 5 | From: the OC, California | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 21345

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Firstly I would like to say sorry for you loss. It is always hard losing a child. I lost my son to anencephaly. I was 21 weeks along when I found out my son had it. Its a nerual tube defect, where the skull bones and brain doesnt form. He had no chance of survival. We decided to induce labor. Our son was born at 23 weeks gestation. He was tiny tiny. I was in labor for 52 hours before he was born. He died 50 hours into labor, and was stillborn on September 2. Its very hard coping sometimes.

Sometimes you go 1 step forward and 5 back.

On MSN and Yahoo they have groups for mothers of lost children. You should join one, they help alot with support and greiving.


[ 09-28-2006, 08:21 PM: Message edited by: mommy4life15 ]

Posts: 51 | From: florida | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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