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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » WHAT TO DO

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Author Topic: WHAT TO DO
BarbadosChic1
Neophyte
Member # 29247

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I WAS TALKIN TO MY BOYFRIEND AND I TOLD HIM I WAS GOING TO TRAP HIM BY HAVING A BABY.HE SOUNDED SCARED..........I WANT 1 BUT HE DOESNT AND I DONT WANNA RUIN HIS LYFE.SHOULD I DISCUSS IT WITH HIM?

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YanniMa

Posts: 2 | From: Georgia | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
Activist
Member # 25983

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Please read this article by Miz Scarlet before this is discussed any further:

I Want it NOW!


Regardless of your age, I can tell you already that you are by no means ready to parent. Not only did you cite your reason as a means to "trap" your partner, it sounds as if you're planning to purposely get pregnant without his consent.

All of your reasons so far are incredibly selfish, and show no care or gain for anybody but yourself. Your partner aside, you are not giving thought to the innocent person you're considering bringing into the world. How would you current situation be nurturing to him/her AT ALL?

Yes, you should discuss this with your partner. I think, however, he has made it quite clear that the answer is no. Unless you want to face the possibility of parenting alone, get the thought of a baby out of your head until you get your priorities straight.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Excuse me one second.

Why in the WORLD would you say that to someone? Why would you consider doing such a thing?

Flatly, if I was your partner, I'd not be your partner anymore after that comment: I wouldn't feel safe, at all, being both emotionally and sexually intimate with you.

Know what else? You saying that, right there (and heck, now reporting it here) could easily, in a court of law, exempt your partner from having any obligation to support your child or parent.

If you want a child and a partner does not, you don't try and become pregnant with that partner, mainpulate or coerce them. And Lauren said it already, but I'll say it again: that whole scenario is a really clear cut case for you not being even close to prepared to parent responsibly.

Of course, from your other post, sounds like your boyfriend is being equally foolish and thoughtless, if he's been engaging in unprotected sex with you, knowing he doesn't WANT to father a child. Seems like the both of you need to wise up, here.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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