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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Is it so bad to want a child of my own.

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Author Topic: Is it so bad to want a child of my own.
thesmall001
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I'm a 14 year old male and for a while now i've really wanted a child.

I havent been secretive about the way i feel about having kids but i don't exactly shout it out all over the place.

I just seem to feel really like i'd make a really really good father.

Is it so wrong for someone my age to want to be a father?

If so then how can i avoid these strong feelings and if not then what can and/or should i do about it?

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One thing you have to understand about me is that there is nothing about me you can understand. See what I mean.

Posts: 22 | From: Kent, England - South East of London. | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
daria319
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Check out I Want It Now! http://scarleteen.com/reproduction/babynow.html

Your feelings are pretty common, but pursuing them may not be in your best interest.

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"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

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thesmall001
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Cool, thanks, i've got to say this site is a life saver, thanks for the URL its very very useful.

I guess what i needed was a solid, unbiased, opinion from some one, thanks again.

[ 04-08-2006, 01:13 AM: Message edited by: thesmall001 ]

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One thing you have to understand about me is that there is nothing about me you can understand. See what I mean.

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-Lauren-
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It isn't wrong by any means to want to be a parent. Many people, male and female, know they want to be parents, even if they're young. However, you might want to think long and hard about WHY you want a child, and the responsibilities parenting holds. Check out the article daria posted, it really can help bring things into prospective.

Why not try to satisfy your urges by watching other people's children or by helping out at a daycare center?

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daria319
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I'm glad I could help. Keep reading the articles on scarleteen's main site. Extra knowledge on ANY of these topics can do nothing but help you make informed, mature decisions.

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"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

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dailicious
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Hey, thesmall001, welcome to Scarleteen!

We have an article that may help you understand some things you may not be considering completely as far as wanting to be a parent (it is geared a bit more to women and motherhood, since women do also have to consider pre-natal care and labor as part of wanting a child, but many of the points apply to both men and women): I Want It Now!

Basically, to address your concerns here, as well- there is not anything wrong with feeling like you'd be a good fater- that's wonderful, actually and is a good instinct to hold onto, but hold onto it for when you are an adult and when you know you can provide not only mentally and emotionally for a growing child, but monitarily as well!

You're young, and still in school, and it's incredibly important for you to finish your education and learn how to support yourself on your own (have you ever thought about what it actually takes to live on your own and support yourself? Trust me, I've just started doing it and it is TOUGH, if you had to add supporting another human being ontop of that before you knew how to take care of your own finances and well-being, think of how much more difficult that might be- not only for yourself, but for the child as well!) before taking on the added responsibility of supporting a child. Not to mention, there are just some things that legally and realistically a 14 year old cannot do that a legal adult can- and those things can often times go a long way in being able to help support a child.

You can put these feelings and this energy to good use, though! Have you thought about babysitting or trying to find a part time job at a day care center? Are there any mentorship programs in your community or through your school where high-school aged kids can go help out with grade or pre school classes? Or maybe a Big Brother program where you can spend time with some younger kids?

These sort of programs are more the sort of thing that might be what you're really looking for- being able to be a good role model, knowing you've made a difference in a child's life, that sort of thing (I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but it seems like a lot of the time these feelings are what teens who think they want to parent are really after, and at this age, a child isn't the answer for that, so looking into one of these programs could be a big help!)

(Wow, in typing up that reply, I managed to get a couple people ahead of me! Haha, still, definitely consider what has been said and looking into the orginizations I mentioned! [Smile] )

[ 04-08-2006, 01:18 AM: Message edited by: dailicious ]

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Jean
aka dailicious
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latebloomer0101
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dude, how could you want a child? i am 14 and thought no where near that. live a normal life, jerk off, be with friends, be with girls, and have fun! a kid is a HUGE responsibility...do you really know what you are getting yourself into?
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Gumdrop Girl
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hey latebloomer, lots of people want kids, and the urge varies from person to person.

there's a distinct difference between wanting a kid, and actually having one. it's okay to want a kid. that desire really motivates some folks to succeed, improve themselves, and so forth. but the important thing is to make sure that people know what they're in for when they plan a family, so they can take the right steps at the right times.

so let's not be in such a hurry to chastise...

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tricia
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well your feelings aren't wrong its cool to feel like that but keep thouse feeling till your atlest done school and u find a nice girl and u have a job and the money to raise the kid.
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DarkChild717
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Tricia, in the future, please use standard English, grammar, punctuation, etc in all of your posts. Thanks.

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