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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » do you think things will change?

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Author Topic: do you think things will change?
Member # 26097

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Hey everyone.
im 17, 14 weeks pregnant and i've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. I told my parents that im pregnant. I figured theyd be happy for me seeing as they are teen parents too.. There not. Noone is. Im keeping the baby. I dont care what anyone says. Its so hard to want to go through with this pregnancy with out the help and support of anyone else. The only people who support me is my boyfriend and my sister. I'm going to need to get a little bit of assistance for a while. We both have a job and are starting to save money but i just dont think it will be enough. Anyway. I was just wondering if any had the same reaction from their parents. My dad tells me i wont be able to do it because its too hard. my mom says i should have an abortion or give it up for adoption. I had sex. Its my repsonsiblity. Do you guys think that my mom and dad will start to be happy for me and start saying some good things. Its hard to be happy when everyone around me is so negative. Dont have much time to say anything else. Ill write back in a bit. Thanx for the advice. I hope it gets easier


Posts: 1 | From: canada | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Well, it might help to adjust your attitude a little.

In other words, if you are coming to them with the clear attitude or statement that you do not care what anyone else thinks or has to say, it is undoubtedly upping the negativity factor.

If your folks were also teen parents, it's also no wonder they're less than positive, because they likely know what you don't, which is that it is far more difficult, especially in this culture, than parenting even a few short years later. Mind you, that doesn't mean you can't do it, or that that alone should cause you to make a different choice, but rather that acknowledging the experience they had and asking them to share their concerns would likely be helpful, both in getting some harmony AND in really making an informed choice.

Plus, you can't expect your parents to help you out with money or arrangements for this: that really isn't fair, unless you asked them in advance when you chose to become pregnant. So, acknowledging that imbalance might also help out, because you're right, no matter what you choose to do, this is *your* responsibility.

Now, for all I know, you're not bringing to the table what you're saying here, but if you are, again, I'd suggest you reconsider your approach. It might not net you "happy" for some time, but it certainly will likely make things at least not quite so negative.

See what I'm saying?

Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder, Scarleteen
ST blog about Heather & Scarleteen
"You have to love women who are brave enough to do things so big in a world where women are supposed to be so small." - Andrea Dworkin

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25085

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Im Tabbi and I am 17 years old and Im 12 weeks pregnant. Ive also chosen to keep my baby. My parents did take it better than i thought but it still is hard. Not everyone will be happy about it, just do whats right for YOU not for anyone else. Id suggest that you join Its other young mothers that can help you out and will support you no matter what decision you make. Their stories will inspire you and you can get many answers you might need, and ask all the questions you want. I know you cant post email addresses or anything on here but if you join girl mom ill find you and we can talk good luck with everything!

Posts: 11 | From: Alexandria, Louisiana, US | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26141

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to both you young ladies, i wish you the best of luck...I got pregnant when i was 16, and no one, not even my boyfriend wanted my baby...but I did. Let me tell you this, after my parents got over the initial shock and realized they couldn't talk me out of it, they were a little better, they treated me like an adult for the first time in my life. Now I am 22, I have a beautiful five year old son and a beautiful baby girl. YOU CAN DO IT! Not only did i graduate high school early but i also have gone on to become totally self sufficient... Just remember that your baby always has to be #1. The reason for every decision that you make.
Again I say, YOU CAN DO IT! feel free to email me if you like, I would love to help you in any way that i can.

Posting email addresses is against the guidelines you agreed to when you signed up.


the greatest gift is to love and be loved in return

[This message has been edited by LilBlueSmurf (edited 11-12-2005).]

Posts: 2 | From: kenosha wi usa | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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