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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » I dont know wether to keep my baby

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Author Topic: I dont know wether to keep my baby
froggygirl14233
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Hey, I am 15 years old and i just found out that i am pregante. I dont know wether to keep the baby or give it up for adoption my parents want me to and so dosent the father of the baby but i dont know if i want to because i dont think that i icould live with my self if i didnt know where my child was. what do u think i should do.
Love ya always
Lauren

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logic_grrl
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Depending on where you are, one possibility might be an "open adoption".

In an open adoption, you'd have some information about the adoptive parents of your child, and maybe a "letterbox" set-up so that they could send you photos and letters as the child grows up.

If you are thinking about adoption, it might be a good idea to contact local agencies and find out if this would be a possibility.

I also notice that you've posted about being pregnant and having a miscarriage a couple of years back, e.g.:

http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum10/HTML/000467.html

(Although I'm kind of confused because it looks like you were posting in April that year about having had a miscarriage, and then in June you said you were four months pregnant).

If you're having repeated unplanned pregnancies, that leads me to ask whether you're using birth control.


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froggygirl14233
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No i cant be on brith contorl because my mom and sister were on it and they both got blood clots from it so my doc wont put me on it. and yes i had a miswcarrage but the other one is june was for one of my freinds they used ym name becuae they didnt want to get there own because her mom gets into her eamil. My mom says that i half to put the baby up for adoption becausde she sadi so and i odnt want to i wsant to keep it ? Is it true that she cant make me give the baby up for aoption
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Aria51
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Nope; in the eyes of the law, you are the responsible party for what happens to your fetus.
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Heather
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For the future, using "birth control," means using ANY reliable method of birth control, not just hormonal methods like the pill.

So, being unable to use the pill doesn't mean you have no birth control options, or HAVE to have sex without using birth control. Condoms, for instance, are birth control, and EVERYONE can use them (even those who are latex-allergic, as there are alternatives).

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playbunny
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right what i would do is seriously think about whether or not you think you are able to cope with a baby you say your 15 there are to options abortion or adoptions but first of all tell your parents and tell the dad of the baby. then go to the doctors

hope i helped peace out and holla bk


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katherose
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I have to say that if I were in your shoes, I would be in the car on the way to Planned Parenthood to get an abortion. I know I couldn't deal with going through pregnancy, especially at 15, and then giving the baby away. It sound like your family is very religious, or antiabortion, as you didn't mention that as an option. If you have a friend who could drive you to the nearest clinic, or at the least to your family doctors office, they might be able to help you.
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beck527
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Hi Lauren! Don't jump to any decision on abortion or adoption. There are so many counselors available to help you make this decision. YOU are the one who has to live with it. Start by talking with an adoption agency. Many offer free counseling to help you make your decision. They won't push you either way, but will help you figure out what you need to do for you and your baby. A great agency that I would recommend is Shore Adoptions in VA. It doesn't matter what state you are in. They are happy to just talk to you about your options. I know the owner, Sherryl, and she has helped many moms make their decision- even some who have changed their mind at the last minute. She is at 757- 687-8602. You can tell her I referred you- my name is Becky.

God Bless you and my prayers are with you as you make such a difficult and important decision.
Becky


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LilBlueSmurf
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Pushing abortion or adoption on users is NOT helpful. The best we can do is provide options ...

Please try to use a little sensitivity when replying to posts such as this one ...

[This message has been edited by LilBlueSmurf (edited 03-14-2005).]


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beck527
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I apologize. I didn't mean to sound like I was pushing adoption- just that they often have counselors who are willing to help us make our decisions by exploring ALL our options. I like this particular counselor because she doesn't pressure in any direction- just helps you realize your options. And she's free
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LilBlueSmurf
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Thank you beck527 ... That was just a (gentle, hopefully) reminder for everyone. It's a very touchy subject, and a very personal decision ... Options are good
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XxWishIKnewXx
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I got pregnant when I was 15. My mom wanted me to have an abortion or give the up for adoption. And I did what I thought was best, I kept the baby. And now my daughter is 5 months old and I couldnt be happier. No matter how mad your parents seem now, they will love you and the baby in the end. Do what your heart tells you to do. I did, and I could never be happier.
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LightbrownSugar124
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I think that this decision is all up to you not your sister mother or the father. you have to carry and birth this child and after doing this i'm not so sure u would be able to give him or her up. While you are pregnat you are going to form a bond with your baby. Think about it, do you really want to miss its first steps, words, or even the more important things. Do u really want another raising your flesh and blood. If you beleive that you can take care of this child mentally and physically then i think you should keep it, even if you are 15 you will just have to grow up alot faster, but u was grown enough to lay down with a guy and make your child so you should be grown enough to take care of him or her. Like everyone says this baby did not ask to be here you did that. Don't worry i'm sure you will make the right decision . I did i am 6 months pregnant going on 7 in a week and i'm happy and wouldn't give up my baby for the world.
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sexyheffa
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you could put your child in foster care
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logic_grrl
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quote:
Think about it, do you really want to miss its first steps, words, or even the more important things. Do u really want another raising your flesh and blood.

"What you want" is not the only thing to consider here - if a pregnancy is going to be carried to term, there's also the question of what is best for the child who is going to come into existence.

And we've already asked people in this thread not to push one option over another or start telling froggygirl what she should do.

This is her choice and no-one else's.


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logic_grrl
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quote:
you could put your child in foster care

Foster care is generally designed to be a temporary solution, when a parents can't look after a child for a short period of time, or where there are issues of neglect or abuse at home. Some kids do get stranded in foster care for long periods of time, but this is generally regarded as a bad thing.

If you want to place a child for adoption, it's generally best to do so as soon as possible - the older a child gets, the harder it is to find adoptive parents for them, and it can be very stressful and damaging for a baby to deal with lots of changes of carers.

Foster care also means putting your child into the care of social services; if they decide that you actually can't care for the child yourself. they can start proceedings to remove the child permanently.

So it's really not a simple or casual option.


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