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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Pregnancy and Smoke.

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Author Topic: Pregnancy and Smoke.
Member # 9302

Icon 9 posted      Profile for sarahbean     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have about 30 articles on this together, but would really like an answer combined in a simple way that may have something included that the articles don't.

When I found out I was pregnant (I'm 9 weeks now), I kind of expected that other people in the house would quit smoking, or at least make the house we share non-smoking, especially seeing as Spring is here and it's warm enough to smoke outside.

I live with my family, my boyfriend, and a mutual friend of ours. Everyone except myself and my boyfriend are smokers.

I even went and bought a 20 dollar ashtray that has a carbon filter on top and sucks smoke out of the air for when you're not smoking, just holding the smoke in the ashtray. They only use it if I'm upstairs, and every other time I come up it's smoky and hazy all through the entire house. What's worse is with my morning sickness, the smell of cigarettes makes me physically ill every time.

The house is *always* full of cigarette smoke, and even pot smoke, which I've ALWAYS been against and hated. Everyone knows how I feel about it but are being selfish.

I think the reason they are being selfish is because they don't fully understand the risks of what they're doing and what harm it can have on my baby to live in a constantly smoky house, and that second hand smoke is just as bad to a developing baby (and to an asthmatic mother) as if I smoked a pack a day myself.

It's gotten to the point where I'm about ready to tell my father, that if he's not going to sacrifice for my and my child's health, and he keeps refusing to take my pregnancy seriously, then he will have no part in it and I will move out. His first grandchild will be nothing to him because even after birth I refuse to take my baby to a smoke-filled cave.

He's made a half-a***d attempt at quitting, but always makes excuses as to why he's not even really trying and then gets mad at me for trying to change him and says he can do whatever he wants because he's the "adult"

I'm hoping that printing out this message and whatever response I get from it, will make him reconsider what he's doing, and force him to realize that it's not all about him right now. Everyone else in the house has already agreed to smoke outside and make the house a non-smoking house but no one will start until my father does.

Please help?


Posts: 7 | From: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 12431

Icon 1 posted      Profile for coldplayer     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
have you shown your family the articles you have? this might help show them what damage they could cause, and how much you desperately care about your baby. tell them that you're not forcing them to quit, but encourage them as much as possible to go outside to smoke, as the weather is beautiful and its not like its an icy winter, is it? if they continue without seeming to care, then i feel very sorry for you indeed. xx
Posts: 68 | From: England | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7343

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Insane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, I wasn't pregnant at the time I did this but... my grandmother had come to live with my family, she is a pack a day smoker. After being asked several times to smoke outside, I was about ready to go nuts. I cannot stand the smell of it. I came home from school one way wearing one of those good quality white surgical masks. I took it off when I left the house, and I would eat outside in the 'fresh air'. After a day of it, my granmother got the point, and she started smoking outside. Anyways, that was a quick trip down memory lane!

I would talk to to your father (and other family members as needed), in a calm situation. Sit him down, with the articles and explain to him why him smoking outside is important to you. Don't do this when either of you are in a bad mood. Keep an open mind, and discuss this with him. He probably doesn't realize the effects, and that it is so important to you. Afterall, he probably knows mothers who smoked through their pregnancy, so he doesn't realize the effects it can have. I am sure a good talk can resolve all this!

Best of luck

[This message has been edited by Insane (edited 04-05-2003).]

Posts: 234 | From: Ottawa, Ont, Canada | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9384

Icon 1 posted      Profile for mnsouthpawjr     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's normal to have the expectation that everyone will quit smoking inside. However, you NOR your boyfriend can demand it. You and your boyfriend live there and in reality neither of you have to. I'm NOT supporting your housemates here. I'm just saying that some people will say "it's our house and if you don't like it move."

You may want to have a heart to heart with your dad and show him the statistics. This could help or your dad could be stubborn.

Don't disown your dad because he won't quit smoking inside. If you need to, please move and make sure that your guests don't smoke near you or the baby.

Good luck

Posts: 73 | From: Louisville, KY USA | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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