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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » SHOULD I HAVE HIS CHILD?

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Author Topic: SHOULD I HAVE HIS CHILD?
WHO'SDATGURL
Neophyte
Member # 11205

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I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT BECOMING PREGNANT ALOT. ESPECIALLY NOW. MY SO CALLED BOYFRIEND SAYS HE WANTS ME TO BE THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD. I'VE ALREADY STARTED PICKING OUT BABY NAMING AND EVERYTHING. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS I'M STILL A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND I WANT A BETTER FUTURE THEN THE ONE'S HE GOT PLANNED OUT FOR US.
Posts: 6 | From: MARYLAND | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So, you have the answer to your question already then, don't you?

It isn't a relationship when one person is planning your life. That's a dictatorship. And dictators don't make good parents, and rarely as well do people who decide to have children when they aren't ready because their partner basically tells them it's what they want and that's it.

Your life is yours. Be smart and make your own choices based on what you want. To boot, you might want to think about how ready you are to be a parent if your boyfriend is really the one being the baby. In other words, can he parent a child when he's making odd demands and can't figure out how to make choices as a couple or family (and I'm guessing he doesn't also have health insurance, pre-natal care, a house and a job picked out for you either, eh?)? Not likely.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just a reminder as well: babies aren't objects. They are small people who grow into big people. They are whole people, not tools or fodder to make someone else happy or satisfied.

Toying with someone else's whole life is never cool.


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candystone
Neophyte
Member # 11212

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Oh dear. I thought like you too. I thought that by having a baby it'd make my life...i don't know, more complete. I'd just started college and felt pretty lonely and outcasted. So I thought being a mother would make me feel better. And so I found myself pregnant. Only I didn't feel complete or happier or a better person, I felt more alone than ever and selfish. 'Cos a baby is a thing it's a person I am responsible for. And everytime I look at my daughter I feel so guilty. I mean, I love her to bits, but I should've waited and not had had her for my own selfish reasons. I hope this makes you think twice honey. xx
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It takes a lot of guts to say something like that, candy, and it's pretty laudable that you said it to help someone else.

Just wanted to send a pat on the back your way.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum10/HTML/000386.html

This is a thread about a girl who really wanted to have a baby. Check it out and follow the links. There's a lot of stuff in there you might find helpful, too

I think you should envision the life you want to give your child. Forget about your boyfriend for a minute. Forget names you've picked. Think about the sort of house where you would want to raise that child. Think of the clothes you want your child to wear. Think about how much time you would want to spend with your child. Think about the things you want to feed your child, the doctors you'd want to take him/her to, the toys you want to give him/her for Christmas.

Now think about whether you can honestly provide all of those things right now for that child. Can you juggle school, work and raising a baby AND provide all those things? If not, then think about whether you really want to give your baby less than what you feel he/she deserves.

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Don't be coward like shrimp, be brave like PRAWN!


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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