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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » help me!!

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Author Topic: help me!!
Snuggle
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my fiance and i have been trying to get pregnant for a year now, with NO luck, i despritly want to have children before our grandparents pass away HELP ME PLEASE, I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME!!

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snuggle


Posts: 28 | From: wisconsin | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
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Snuggle, posting the same topic in multiple forums is explicitly banned at Scarleteen, and is grounds for loss of user priveleges.

You should never have children to please other people, or because you feel like you're running out of time. It just isn't fair on the kids or your or your partner. You can discuss fetility concerns with your doctor, but there's nothing we can recommend here that will have guarantee a baby.


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Snuggle
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quote:
Originally posted by Milke:
Snuggle, posting the same topic in multiple forums is explicitly banned at Scarleteen, and is grounds for loss of user priveleges.

You should never have children to please other people, or because you feel like you're running out of time. It just isn't fair on the kids or your or your partner. You can discuss fetility concerns with your doctor, but there's nothing we can recommend here that will have guarantee a baby.


i didnt say that i was having children to please other people, I WANT THEM. its just that i want my grandparents to see them also,mwaning i want to hurry.I AM READY!! and i only posted the same topic 2 times, because i thought i had done something wrong, i am new to this sight and am very sorry, i wont be comming back i guess, i just wanted help, sorry for your wasted time!!!

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snuggle


Posts: 28 | From: wisconsin | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
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Hon, calm down please. If you're in such a hurry to have a baby, then maybe you should see a doctor. If its some sort of infertility problem, then there might be nothing that you can do on your own to get pregnant and thus will need help. A doctor will be able to consel you much better than we can about whether or not it's prudent to get pregnant right now, or what the problem might be.

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KittenGoddess
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"The whole world is full of morons...they just congregate on the internet cause it's easy for them to push the buttons."


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Aria51
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No-one said you were wasting our time. Milke was just doing her job as an advocate and reminding you of the guidelines. You aren't in any sort of trouble, and you're welcome to stay.

Aside from that, all you can really do is discuss this with your doctor. Ask about charting your menstrual cycles and finding your most fertile days. Have a thorough gynecological exam, and find out if there are health problems keeping you from getting pregnant.

You say you want to have children before your grandparents pass away. Are they ill?


[MindMeld!]

[This message has been edited by Aria51 (edited 05-01-2002).]


Posts: 1287 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Guidelines

New to Scarleteen?


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Chelle
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There are a number of sites that offer advice on your most fertile times of the month, dietary changes, and even different positions you can try. I have no idea how effective a lot of this is but www.epregnancy.com is a great site to try, it has a section for preconception preparations and tips. There's even a great message board for couples trying to conceive that is super supportive and helpful. The best of luck to you.

And this really isn't any of my business but-how old are you? I understand that some people are ready at 17 or 18 and some people are never ready but I'm curious.


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Snuggle
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quote:
Originally posted by Chelle:
There are a number of sites that offer advice on your most fertile times of the month, dietary changes, and even different positions you can try. I have no idea how effective a lot of this is but www.epregnancy.com is a great site to try, it has a section for preconception preparations and tips. There's even a great message board for couples trying to conceive that is super supportive and helpful. The best of luck to you.

And this really isn't any of my business but-how old are you? I understand that some people are ready at 17 or 18 and some people are never ready but I'm curious.


hi, i am 22 years old, i know that iam not that old but i also know when I want to have children. and i want to have them for me, i just wanted my grandparents to see them too, and have a close realtionship with them. we have always had close realtionships with granparents in my fam.

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snuggle


Posts: 28 | From: wisconsin | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Melea
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I just wanted to point out that what Chelle said about some people being ready for children at 17'ish is true. I am 16, engaged and I truly believe I am ready for a baby. I want one more than I can describe. I have my own house, my GED, and a pretty good job. My fiance and I have also been trying for a baby for a year now. If aunt flow comes to see me this time we have decided that both me and my fiance are going to go and have a check-up. I would rather the doctor catch it early so there is more of a chance that it can be corrected.

I just believe that no matter what your age, as long as you can support a child the way that every child should be, then you are ready. There are some teenagers that would give anything to be a parent. I am one of them and I know at least one person reading this right now is too but doesnt want to admit it because of the little "talk" they fear of getting from their friends, family, or peers.

Thanks for listening. I feel so much better now that I have explained how I feel about the subject of planned teenage pregnancy. Good luck to everyone that is trying for a baby. When your time comes it will happen.

Melea


Posts: 52 | From: Celeste,Tx,USA | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Siren
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Just want to say, if you're been having unprotected sex for a year and no pregnancy it's time to talk to an ob/gyn, and both you and your partner need to get some tests.

It doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem, but after a year of unprotected sex and no pregnancy, most doctors will consider you infertile. Which does not mean you can't get pregnant, just that something could be going on that will make getting pregnant a little harder. Or that you're just getting the timing wrong, since not all women ovulate on the 14th day. Good luck to both of you.

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Lil Siren
"Those are some BIG ice cubes..."


Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lisa D
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Whoa, Siren, I'd like to know where you heard that if you have been having unprotected sex for a year, and don't get pregnant, most doctors would consider you "infertile."

I talked to my OB/Gyn about this, and she said that they would do some tests, but she would never consider someone "infertile" because of the aforementioned.

Please watch your facts - we want to make sure we aren't passing along misinformation or scaring anyone uneccesarily, ok?


Posts: 442 | From: Dublin, OH USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Siren
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I got this off of WedMD, and I think it explains the term "infertile".

When Are You Called Infertile?

If you've tried to become pregnant by having unprotected intercourse on a regular basis for one year without success, you're technically considered infertile (which is not at all the same thing as being sterile, a permanent condition). This occurs in 10-15 percent of couples, so you are certainly not alone.

Today, gynecologists are seeing more patients with infertility problems than in years past. This is partly due to the increase in sexually transmitted diseases (disease and infection can mess up your reproductive apparatus), and partly because many couples are postponing pregnancy until later in life, when fertility naturally decreases.

Being termed infertile doesn't mean that you will never become pregnant. In many infertile couples a treatable cause can be found. Think of it as a challenge that you have a reasonable chance of overcoming.

And as I said, it could be just a case of not having sex at the right time, since not all women ovulate on the 14th day. Hope that cleared up what I was saying.

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Lil Siren
"Those are some BIG ice cubes..."


Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lisa D
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Thanks for the reference, Siren, although I do have a beef with WebMD . I think that language is a bit confusing.

Thanks for the Clarification, though!


Posts: 442 | From: Dublin, OH USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Insane
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Hello All,

I thought I would add a bit to this discussion regarding when someone is "ready" to have a child.

I was engaged at 18 to a wonderful guy. I truly wanted to have a child with him. I was convinced I was ready, and that we would be together forever. But alas, I was just young and in love, and definetely naive. We broke up, and I am glad I did not have his child. But at 21 I found myself pregnant. In the end I decided I was mature enough, and ready to have this child, so I did. And man, I can honestly say that at 18 or 21 or 30 you can never be ready for this. Having my son is the most rewarding and joyful yet hair raising, stressful, and frustrating job I will ever have. I do not nor will I ever regret having my son, I only wish I could have gotten to experience a bit more of life first. I can't go tour france, or take a year off of my studies, because my son needs me, and needs to provide for him.

I just wanted to point out that at 21 or 16 you have a lot of living you can do before you can settle down, and have children. As much as you want them now, you will appreciate them so much more later. There was a discussion awhile back about all this. I just wanted to point out, that in a lot of cases, children can wait until you have experienced more in life and the financial stability.


Posts: 234 | From: Ottawa, Ont, Canada | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lisa D
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Bravo, Insane. that is some really good advice!

My response is always, "what's the rush?" I understand wanting a child, but I do not understand feeling the need to have it RIGHT NOW, especially when one has not been on their own for very long..

Spend a little time on yourself in your early twenties - you deserve it, and i believe you will ultimately gain experience during that time which will be indispensable in rearing a little one. It is an exciting time when you will discover all sorts of crazy things about yourself, and learn even more about people and relationships.

While you are never completely ready for a child at any age, practical life experience always helps to make things a bit easier.


Posts: 442 | From: Dublin, OH USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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