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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Spanking ~ the good, the bad, the ... religion?

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Author Topic: Spanking ~ the good, the bad, the ... religion?
LilBlueSmurf
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Many Southern Ontario families are considering moving to the US and Mexico, seeking refuge status, after 7 children were taken from there home by childrens welfare workers. Many have already made the move, and all are members of the Church of God.

Should religion play a role in how children are disiplined? "Spanking" is allowed, by only w/ 'resonable force' and w/ no other objects such as paddles, sticks or spoons.

This article kinda makes me feel really lucky to live where i do ...

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I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
~ Anonymous

In a Smurf's world ...


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Eppy
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Thats a bit extreme. I saw a bumper sticker somewhere that said "I'm pro choice about everything." That pretty much sums up what I think about the government's involvment. They shouldn't be able to tell parents how to raise their children. Granted, there is a certain limit which should be established by law where discipline turns to abuse. But really, spanking your children? That's ridiculous. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not the worse for wear. I think the Bible verse the parents are thinking of is one that goes something like "spare the rod and spoil the child." The key to disciplining your children is to never do it out of anger. That's where the line crosses from punishment to abuse. If your children make you angry, take a time out to calm down, then disipline them. Then explain to them why you spanked them. If they don't know why they're being punished, you're not going to see a behavioral change. Which is the whole point of punishment. And spanking won't always be the most effective form of punishment either. And there is a certain point where kids become too old to be spanked too. It all depends on the situation, but in general, spanking when not done out of anger is not abuse. My children will be spanked. And if the government tells me I can't do it, you can bet I'll fight tooth and nail to change that.
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justagirl04
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I believe in spanking in order to correct a child. Hehe, let me tell ya, my parents believe in it too!

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We're here and now,
but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away again

~*SHaNNa*~

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Posts: 318 | From: Oklahoma USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Etch
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I think that spanking is an excellent thing when raising children, for SOME children and SOME parents. Not all.

I was spanked only a few times as a child, mostly by my father. I behaved when i was around him, but around my mother i didnt. But of course i only was good around my father out of fear (there was one case of abuse against me and my mom filed charges)

But a slight amount of pain (which comes just as much mentally as it does physically in a spanking) will teach the child that whatever they are being punished for will cause pain. The psychology of it says that it works.

I know that when you have adopted children spanking is out of the question. I can understand that in the cases of previously abused children, but if you had a child from early infancy then i think they should bud out and let you raise YOUR child.

Personally i couldnt spank a kid anywhere but the butt and i would only do it lightly. My mom is a smacker, and that gets the wrong reaction. But religion has little to do with it for many people. That is just the only reason they can use. I would use it because of classical conditioning. Good behavior has rewards, bad behavior brings suffering.


Posts: 523 | From: Ashland, Oregon, US | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
xJudy
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I believe that spanking is never ok. It is an ineffective tool for discipline, and only teaches a kid to correct their behavior because they will GET HIT, not because they understand what they did was innapropriate.

I was spanked as a kid, and while I would stop what I was doing to get spanked, I always felt ashamed and humiliated afterwards, I felt angry at my parents. There are better ways to correct a bad behaviour, and I'm sure that one where the child undertands WHY he was doing something wrong and WHAT was so wrong about it, and has to think on his own and consider what was so bad about it will grow upto be a healthier more well adjusted person than the child who is beaten into submission.

Spanking teaches children that being forceful or violent is how they should get their way, and it's very dangerous. It's scary to think of how similar it is for girls who are spanked by parents saying "this is for your own good" or "i'm doing this because I love you" growing up to be a woman in an abusive relationship thinking that she is beaten because, like her parents her abuser "does it because he loves her". Boys who are spanked are more likely to grow up to be abusers.

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Judy & baby Eska


Posts: 23 | From: Paris, France | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aria51
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Bumping it up -- An oldish topic, but still an excellent topic for conversation.
Posts: 1287 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobolink
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I am told that, as a child (under 5), I used to get almost daily spankings from my mother. Perhaps that explains something about me.

As a parent, I have spanked my son twice: once a single slap to the rear end when he had become hysterical and it broke the fit and he immediately resumed self-control, and once when I had to play the enforcer to my wife's "you just wait until your father comes home" promise. He was aged 3 and 6 for the incidences.

In both cases, I think I was more traumatized than he was. He is now almost 22 and taller and stronger than me so I don't think I'll use that discipline method again.

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We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein


Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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