Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Spanking ~ the good, the bad, the ... religion?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Spanking ~ the good, the bad, the ... religion?
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LilBlueSmurf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Many Southern Ontario families are considering moving to the US and Mexico, seeking refuge status, after 7 children were taken from there home by childrens welfare workers. Many have already made the move, and all are members of the Church of God.

Should religion play a role in how children are disiplined? "Spanking" is allowed, by only w/ 'resonable force' and w/ no other objects such as paddles, sticks or spoons.

This article kinda makes me feel really lucky to live where i do ...

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
~ Anonymous

In a Smurf's world ...

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4254

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Eppy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thats a bit extreme. I saw a bumper sticker somewhere that said "I'm pro choice about everything." That pretty much sums up what I think about the government's involvment. They shouldn't be able to tell parents how to raise their children. Granted, there is a certain limit which should be established by law where discipline turns to abuse. But really, spanking your children? That's ridiculous. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not the worse for wear. I think the Bible verse the parents are thinking of is one that goes something like "spare the rod and spoil the child." The key to disciplining your children is to never do it out of anger. That's where the line crosses from punishment to abuse. If your children make you angry, take a time out to calm down, then disipline them. Then explain to them why you spanked them. If they don't know why they're being punished, you're not going to see a behavioral change. Which is the whole point of punishment. And spanking won't always be the most effective form of punishment either. And there is a certain point where kids become too old to be spanked too. It all depends on the situation, but in general, spanking when not done out of anger is not abuse. My children will be spanked. And if the government tells me I can't do it, you can bet I'll fight tooth and nail to change that.
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3824

Icon 1 posted      Profile for justagirl04     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I believe in spanking in order to correct a child. Hehe, let me tell ya, my parents believe in it too!

We're here and now,
but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away again



Posts: 318 | From: Oklahoma USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 182

Icon 14 posted      Profile for Etch     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think that spanking is an excellent thing when raising children, for SOME children and SOME parents. Not all.

I was spanked only a few times as a child, mostly by my father. I behaved when i was around him, but around my mother i didnt. But of course i only was good around my father out of fear (there was one case of abuse against me and my mom filed charges)

But a slight amount of pain (which comes just as much mentally as it does physically in a spanking) will teach the child that whatever they are being punished for will cause pain. The psychology of it says that it works.

I know that when you have adopted children spanking is out of the question. I can understand that in the cases of previously abused children, but if you had a child from early infancy then i think they should bud out and let you raise YOUR child.

Personally i couldnt spank a kid anywhere but the butt and i would only do it lightly. My mom is a smacker, and that gets the wrong reaction. But religion has little to do with it for many people. That is just the only reason they can use. I would use it because of classical conditioning. Good behavior has rewards, bad behavior brings suffering.

Posts: 523 | From: Ashland, Oregon, US | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5092

Icon 1 posted      Profile for xJudy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I believe that spanking is never ok. It is an ineffective tool for discipline, and only teaches a kid to correct their behavior because they will GET HIT, not because they understand what they did was innapropriate.

I was spanked as a kid, and while I would stop what I was doing to get spanked, I always felt ashamed and humiliated afterwards, I felt angry at my parents. There are better ways to correct a bad behaviour, and I'm sure that one where the child undertands WHY he was doing something wrong and WHAT was so wrong about it, and has to think on his own and consider what was so bad about it will grow upto be a healthier more well adjusted person than the child who is beaten into submission.

Spanking teaches children that being forceful or violent is how they should get their way, and it's very dangerous. It's scary to think of how similar it is for girls who are spanked by parents saying "this is for your own good" or "i'm doing this because I love you" growing up to be a woman in an abusive relationship thinking that she is beaten because, like her parents her abuser "does it because he loves her". Boys who are spanked are more likely to grow up to be abusers.

Judy & baby Eska

Posts: 23 | From: Paris, France | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 653

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Aria51     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Bumping it up -- An oldish topic, but still an excellent topic for conversation.
Posts: 1287 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1386

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Bobolink         Edit/Delete Post 
I am told that, as a child (under 5), I used to get almost daily spankings from my mother. Perhaps that explains something about me.

As a parent, I have spanked my son twice: once a single slap to the rear end when he had become hysterical and it broke the fit and he immediately resumed self-control, and once when I had to play the enforcer to my wife's "you just wait until your father comes home" promise. He was aged 3 and 6 for the incidences.

In both cases, I think I was more traumatized than he was. He is now almost 22 and taller and stronger than me so I don't think I'll use that discipline method again.

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein

Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3