Those of you with children, how do you handle their sleeping arrangements? Co-sleeping, sleeping with siblings, sleeping alone? Those of you without, how would you? What are your thoughts on self-soothing and the Ferber method?
Here are some simpified definitions for those of you confused about what I'm asking:
Co-Sleeping: Children and parent(s) share a "family bed". Ferber method: Used when trying to teach a child to put itself to sleep. If the child is fed, has a clean diaper, and not in pain, the parent(s) allow the child to fuss for ten minutes. After ten minutes, the parent(s) check on the child, soothing it vocally, turning on a mobile, but NOT PICKING IT UP. Then the parent leaves the room. The fussing time increases 5 minutes each time, and the process is repeated, until the child falls asleep. Was the topic of an episode of "Mad About You" a couple of years ago.
Sleeping: My child has always slept in his crib. I tried co-sleeping in the hospital, but was very afraid of crushing him. He slept in my room for two months, then moved to the nursery. Ferber method: I used this with my child around the same time he moved to the nursery. It only took a weekend, and now he has no trouble falling asleep when it's bedtime. He does wake up late at night, but when that happens he plays quietly in his crib until he falls asleep again.
I look forward to your opinions!
------------------ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I need my conscience to keep watch over me To protect me from myself So I can wear honesty like a crown on my head When I walk into the promised land
with my twins they like to sleep together in one double bed...originally they each had their own big kid beds but then every mournig I would wake up to find them together so I decided to buy a big double bed and have them sleep together...Aaron is one now and I used the ferber method with and he sleeps in his own room in a crib...he puts himself to sleep and same as the first poster if he wakes up at night he plays in his crib till he falls asleep again...
Posts: 42 | Registered: Oct 2000
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my kids sleep seperately in their own rooms. i use the ferber method for my 1 year old daughter. she actually goes to sleep pretty quickly now. i heard on the news that the leading cause of infant deaths in my area is parents rolling over on their children at night. i rarely let my kids sleep with me.
When my son was a newborn, he slept in our bed as my spouse found it more convenient to nurse him at night that way. Nobody rolled over on him although I will admit that I was nervous about it. By about 2 months, he was sleeping in a cradle in our room. At 6 months we moved him into his own room on another floor. I think his mother was a bit disappointed that he took to his own bed and room on a separate floor of the house immediately. He didn't seem to miss us at all.
Mind you, he slept with a little stuffed dog that I had purchased in a gift shop at O'Hare airport when he was 6 weeks old. He slept with it until he was 12 years old. He usually had one of our 2 cats sleep with him. Except during his one case of the croup, he slept through the night.
------------------ "A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular."
I'm certainly not a mother yet, but I'd like to be some day, and I've done quite a bit of thinking on the subject. *Personally*, I'm very much in favor of co-sleeping. My parents slept with me when I was an infant, and it's been the norm for some 99.9% of human history, and still is in near that many other cultures. A lot of people find it simply horrifying that so many Westerners don't sleep with their children. And just from a laziness perspective, I think I'd much rather roll over to nurse than get up to do it.
On safety issues: We spent and entire class period in child development talking about this, and I've spent a while talking to my mom (an RN who's spent many years working in the Natal Intensive Care Unit) about it. I think there are two important points. 1) There is some evidence that co-sleeping significantly reduces the baby's chaces of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). Of course, there're lots of recommendations on what will reduce the risk of SIDS, and I imagine I'd be tired of thinking about if I were a parent. 2) There is also evidence that most deaths from co-sleeping have nothing to do with parents rolling on to their babies and everything to do with beds that have designs unfriendly to infants.
If anyone is interested, I can try to dig up references to relevent studies. If anyone is in favor of co-sleeping and wants to feel good about it, read "The Continuum Concept," by Jean Liedloff (sp?). I found it rather squishy and definitely a bit too judgemental, but there's stuff I agreed with, and it's a very popular book.
When I have a baby, I plan to sleep with him or her on a mattress on the floor. No bedposts or headboards or long drops to the ground. My best friend got one of those three-sided little cribs that attached to the side of her bed and used that with her two babies, and she (and they) liked it a great deal. I think they're reasonably priced. A good solution to the fear-of-crushing, too.
Of course, I must stress something else I learned from my mom (and in the Child Development class). There are lots and lots and lots of right ways of parenting a child. Human beans are beautifully flexible and forgiving.
[This message has been edited by Eclipse (edited 03-10-2001).]
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