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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Pregnancy and Parenting » Negative?Positive? (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Negative?Positive?
MystikaFaith
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Last month when me and my guy had sex the condom broke. According to what I learned at the planned parenthood site it would be right about the time I was 'suppose' to be ovulating. My period was due on the 6th. It's now the 10th. It's been a day or two late before but now I'm starting to get worried. I usually have cramps for a few days before I get it but so far there's NOTHING! So last night I searched the house for enough money for a pg test and took it this morning. It was PregnanSee. The cheapest one but all I could afford.

Both screens turned a pink color. The test screen had the very clear and obvious line while the result screen had a fairly faint barely noticable line.

What's the odds of me being pregnant? Was the test a negative or a positive? My med care card expired, I don't get a new one till the end of the month and I really don't have the money to buy another test.

I'm so confused. I haven't really had any symptoms. I've been feeling abit queesy the last 2/3 days and not wanting to eat, but that could easily just be a uncoming flu.

Have any of you guys had a test result like that? Have any of you guys had a false negative? What was your earliest symptoms of pregnancy and at what point did you get them.

Sorry for all the questions, but I hope you can help me out.

~mystika~


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alaska
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Hi Mystika,

Home Pregnancy Tests, like the one that you used, measure the presence of the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) in your urine. HCG is produced in the placenta shortly after the embryo attaches to the uterine lining, it builds up rapidly in your body in the first few days following implantation. Usually hCG can be detected by a home-pregnancy test eight to 11 days after ovulation the first day you miss a period.

The result that you got when you took the pregancy test - with the line in the result screen being very faint - might indicate that you are indeed pregnant, but that the amount of hCG in your body is not terribly high yet, or not high enough for the test that you used to give a thicker line in the result window. The reason behind this is that pregnancy tests come in different "qualitites", some are more sensitive and consequently, more expensive because they can detect pregnancy even if you have only a small amount of hCG in your system.

Anyway, all these technicalities don't help you right now.
I strongly recommend that you take another test as soon as possible. You said that you can't afford one right now and don't have a med card until the end of the month, so the question at hand is - how can we get you a free pregnancy test. Not being from Canada, I can't tell you whether it's possible to get free pregancy test at family planning clinics or at least a sliding scale pregnancy test somewhere. However, there are several people around here who are from Canada and who can probably help you a lot better with helping you find a free (or cheap) pregnancy test than me.

Sending lots of energy your way. Sorry that I can't help you any more than this.

Take care,
Alaska

------------------
Just a regular lunatic.
Go inside Alaska's head...


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Heather
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There are Planned Parenthood clinics in Canada.

Ther URL for their Canadian outreach is: http://www.ppfc.ca/

Just click on " find a planned parenthood near you."

You can check out the "odds" or the risk of your being pregnant here: http://www.scarleteen.com/pink/pages/preg_risk.html

...and I can tell you now that they're rather high, especially if the condom was essentially broken when your partner ejaculated, thus effectively doing nothing at all.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


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MystikaFaith
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Thanks, that sort of explained alot yet it made me worry a little bit more about being pregnant. Especially since I bought the cheapest test on the market. However my period is 5 days late wouldn't there be enough for even the cheap tests to show a positice result by now?

In the city I live in you can get free preg tests at the walk in clinic or at your doctors. Since my med care expired I have no coverage and the cost of the visit would be twice as much as it would cost if I were to buy another "good quality" pregnancy test.


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Heather
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Might not your boyfriend contribute to this fund?
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MystikaFaith
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Yes, planned parenthood is great... In fact that's where I got the condoms. Hmmmmmm now I'm growing resentfull. Anyways, the closest one to my house is approx. two hours away. Needless to say I don't get there often, especially since I have no access to a car.
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MystikaFaith
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In the past week my boyfriend and I have gotten into a slight disagreement. He's jealous of my best friend who happens to be a guy. I haven't talked to my guy since Wednesday. That too has gotten me a little worried. At the moment I'm grounded off the phone so I can't call him. So I really have no contact with him untill Monday at school. And to be perfectly honest I don't want to tell I "might" be pregnant untill we sort things out in our relationship. I don't want us to fix things on the basis of having a kid involved. That's not fair to us nor the kid if there is one.
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Heather
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Sweetie, the tough thing is, this is why when we talk about sex readiness, we also toalk about money. If you can't even afford a pregnancy test, and of your options if you ARE pregnant are also going to be nigh unto impossible.

It's a hard thing to say: in order to have sex, you also need to have cash, but you do. See if you can't find a way to get to one of those clinics as soon as you can -- find a friend to drive you, or a way you and your boyfriend can get a bus up there -- something.

I'm not sure what you're resentful about. Condoms can break. Condoms can especially break if not used with additional lubricant and if not used right, and no one ever said anything was 100%. I know it stinks, but that's just the way it goes, really.


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LilBlueSmurf
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Oh I'm from Canada

I had a pregnancy test not too long ago, but it was at the doctors office. It's so much better if you go to a doctor tho, so you can discuss your options as soon as you get the results (yeah it takes a day or so, but it's better to be done professionally). If you're not pregnant, you can also look at your options for birth control and discuss that. I did this all a few months ago and it didn't cost me anything. I currently switched to a sexual health clinic, but it's the same there. As long as you have your health card (OHIP), it won't cost you anything.


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MystikaFaith
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That's the problem my OHIP card expired and my appointment to get a new one is at the end of the month.

And I'm not blaming anyone for the condom breaking. I'm just stressed and I know my mom is gonna accuse me of not using one if I am pregnant and it hurts knowing she doesn't trust me.

I wish I had gone on the pill the only problem with that was my mom said she'd kick me out if she found out I was on it cause she'd rather have the condom break and me risk pregnancy then have me out at an extra risk for getting an STD or AIDS.

Last night I called my boyfriend. We talked for an hour about our problems, basically fixed it all then I told him I thought I was pregnant. He took it worse then I did, but promised he'd be there for me 100%. I don't think I've ever heard him so scared in my life before, and that freaks me out. He's almost 18 so really he's better off then I am.

I went down to my dad's house last night. He tried to give me some alcohol and I refused for like the first time ever. He automatically accused me of being pregnant! So I told him what happened and he bitched me out completely told me if I was I have to have an abortion bla bla bla. Once I started crying he became more sympathatic. But I promised him I'd tell my mom by tomorrow. That's gonna be hard. I know she won't beat on me or anything but it's the guilt that's gonna bring me down.


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Lin
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Hon...*big hugs*

I hope that since your dad knows now, you can at least take a test and see if you are really pregnant.

Dearie, you did protect yourself. So don't beat yourself up on it. the main thing here is to find out if you are pregnant. When you find out, you can move on from there.

Please let us know how everything goes.


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alaska
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*huggles* from me as well.

Now that your dad and your boyfriend know about your situation, I hope one of them gives you the 20$ for another pregnancy test so that you can find out whether you're actually pregnant or not...and just as Lin hast said....you can see where to go from there.

*sending energy your way*
Alaska

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 02-11-2001).]


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Heather
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Sounds like you need to have a talk with your mom at some point. When you're on the pill, it isn't like you can't still use condoms. In fact, we highly recommend that anyone who is on the pill does just that.

When you talk to her tomorrow, you may want to ask that she try and give you a little more support, and a little more support for really taking care of your sexual health.

Honestly, there really is no need to feel guilty if you did what you could to be safe -- accidents DO happen (I know, I WAS one), and then you simply deal with them, hard as that is. But when you did what you could, there really is no "fault." There is just what happened.


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MystikaFaith
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Thanks, my dad isn't getting payed till Wednesday and he said he'll drop off some money sometime later in the week to get a test. And my boyfriend said he'll try to get some money to me on Monday, however he may have to skip a class to go to the bank machine.

Telling my mom is going to be hard. I'm gonna get my best friend to be here with me. She was 17 when she had me, and I just know she's gonna make me feel so so guilty saying I should have learned from her mistakes and I could have made so much out of my life. I'm an honor role student, my dream was to become a doctor and now it's all over and I know she'll remind me of that.


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Heather
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Honestly maybe SHE should have learned from her mistakes and allowed you to use a secondary method of birth control like the pill.

Again, don't be so harsh on yourself, and if she's very harsh with you, sounds like she might need to learn a lesson about it herself.


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Heather
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By the by, nothing is "all over." My mother had me young as is now primed for one of the most prestigious health care positons in the United States.

In addition, you do have choices. You do not HAVE to have a child unless that is what you want to do. And even if you DO carry a child to term, having children doesn't mean your life is over. many, many, many women have accomplished everything they wanted to with children.


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MystikaFaith
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If I am pregnant, and I have a very strong feeling I am I would keep it. I'm pro-life however I'm all for adoption, but I don't think I could give my child away. I know I could be a great mother. I'm great with kids, I've practicly raised my brother and sister who are 3 and 5 and I know I could give them all the love they need. I've always wanted kids however I planned on waiting untill I finished med school and got married, had a house and all that.

If I'm pregnant I'm not gonna quit school. I might try home schooling for a semester then go back in with half days. I have about 15 thousand in the bank which I can't touch till I'm 25 or if I'm 18 if I go to University of Collage. And even if I am pregnant I still want a post-secondary education even though I have no clue how I could pull that off.

I know my mom would kick me out, mainly cause she doesn't have the money nor room to support me and a baby. However, the majority of Mike's family absolutely adores me and I'm sure I could find a place to stay. I'm almost 100% positive Mike will stick around and if he does I know I could get 'somewhere' in my life. If we can find a place to stay for free with his family and we both can get part time jobs we can save up some money here and there for my education.

Well my mom is coming down stairs...

Gotta go


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ErinK
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Quite a few of the younger mothers here at Scarleteen are managing to balance school, jobs, and raising their children. And all of them have aspirations for the future which they're striving to reach.

One of the people I work with at the Writing Lab had her first child at 16 and her second at 18 -- she's now 20, a full time student, and her husband goes to school part-time because they were able to find scholarships as well as flexible jobs.

Anyways, I'm not the best person to speak here -- I'm sure Aria or mamaalli or koger or all the people I'm forgetting can talk to you about it.

OH, and you might want to check out http://www.girlmom.com, which has a lot more info about being a young mother.

Erin


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mamaalli
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hey gurl, it is ok. You are going to have emotions to deal with if you do find out that you are pregnant. Make sure that nurturing yourself is your first priority right now. It seems as if you have already made the choice to become a mother, if you are, in fact, pregnant. If so, then start preparing right away, if the test is positive.
Learn about birthing options, breastfeeding and infant care. Also, sit down and WRITE a detailed "life plan". you OBVIOUSLY can't plan your life. But what you can do is work out an outline of what goals you want to reach and how/when you will reach them. And important thing you MUST remember....any dreams you had before, DONT ABANDON THEM. You can STILL do whatever it was you wanted to before. Just figure it out in your life plan. Twist dates, bend schedules, milk rocks for money. You can do it.

Like, plan how you will finish high school, where your money will come from, who will watch baby, how will your breastfeed and work, what jobs will you look for, what training will you need, when will you want to move, how much will you need to save, will you need a roomate, what financial aid you will need for school, what schools you want to go to, how much it will cost, when you will graduate, what you will study, what you will become, how much will the baby need each year, where will your daycare be.....the stuff that will need to be dealt with.

It's just that if you plan it out it seems alot easier. You know what needs to be done, when and how. instead of starting at point A and jumping, in your mind, straight to point z with not road map.

You can do this. Believe in yourself. Let go of the guilt and latch on to the love.

Oh, and check out http://www.girlmom.com :::winks:::


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MystikaFaith
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Hmmmmmmm an outline of my life...

Well I still didn't get my period, I've given up on it. Now I'll go to the store and not worry about bringing that 'extra' tampon and go to school wearing white pants. I have such a strong feeling I am pregnant, it's like going to the doctor to get tested on Tuesday is just pointless now, cause inside I know.

I told my mom and she was far from supportive, it wouldn't be so bad but she completely despises my baby saying I won't be able to finish school because he's irresponsable and I'll come home to find my baby dead. If I am pregnant I have to be out of the house by the end of the month. My dad said he'd help out with furniture, my mom said she'd help out with small things like dishes, and I have a friend who can hook me up with some baby stuff. Great, now I'm a charity.

I know I'm gonna be on welfare for the first month or two while I look for a part time good paying job for both me and my guy which is really hard to come by in this town. I'm counting on getting that full time summer job which pays $15/h which would completely save my *** . Then I can take correspondance courses for the first semester and go back to school in February even if I'm only doing part days. By then I'm hoping to have a part time along with my guy. I guess that means we'll barely see each other sinces we'd be taking shifts with the baby but I'm up for that if that's what it takes to survive and make it.

But the thought of going on welfare for a few months now and after the baby is born is killing me, but I have no other idea how I can do it without the help. Sure they can help me get started but my pride is just screaming Noooooooo...

But I'm still hoping that the doctor will say I'm not pregnant. Then everything would be alright, I'd be stressing over nothing. But I know the truth.

Candace


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Lin
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Honey, I really am at a lost as to what to tell you.

I don't want to say I am sorry because I think it's the last thing you need right now.

But I just want to tell you that you are being incredibly brave and I am sure that should you be pregnant, everything will work out fine.

You have all of us including the wonderful mamaalli and Aria who are wonderful at dispensing practical advice when it comes to being a teen mum.

Let us know how the test goes. *hugs*


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Heather
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You know, the best thing I can say here, Mystika, is that you have several choices, only one of which is carrying a child to term and rearing it yourself for his or her life. None of those choices are easy, but when making them, you need to consider what is best for you, and what is best for a potential child.

I'll be honest: be sure if you choose to have a child that you want a child and will not resent it, and be sure you can take the "me" out of the equation a great deal.

I would just say that if you can see NOTHING positive in having a child that it is really worth thinking about WHY you would have one. Because I haven't yet heard a positive here, and that concerns me.

I hope you're planning on talking to a faamily planning counselor if the test is positive, just to get some help making the best choice for everyone involved. If you need to find a center local to you, I'm sure we can help.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 02-15-2001).]


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mamaalli
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i'm not sure why you will have to go on welfare and leave school....what grade are you in?

Jobs are not that hard to find these days. Try a Temporary Staffing agency. I like Remedy Staffing, the offer full medical after you have work 200 hours for them (in a couple of months) which is a BIG plus! They will TRAIN you and get your jobs that you can do at all times of the day/year. They also hook you up with non-permanent jobs, that you can work at until the baby is born, then take a break, and get a new job. And you gain LOTS of experience, but need none to start with. A BIG plus! Look into it! But try REMEDY, since I KNOW they have full medical (I worked in their HQ for several months last year) Most jobs that they get run 8-11 an hour for entry level jobs.

Email me and tell me what county you live in. Nearly ALL counties offer a daycare subsidy, which will pay for your daycare while you work/go to school. This is a HUGE help, and keeps you off the welfare rolls!

Also, dont resign yourself to leaving school. Meet with your counselor and find out what programs they have. Almost all high school districts have an independant study program. You do your work from home, meet with a teacher once a week, and get to spend your days with baby. AND you can work at your OWN PACE! So, if you are a fast-worker, then you can graduate early.

There are also NUMEROUS state and federal grants and loans for college, and some scholarships specifically for single moms!

BUT, if this is not what you want, then listen to Heather. You have options, no matter what choice you make.


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MystikaFaith
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I went out for supper with my mom today, It wasn't the greatest but we talked. She made her point that she wants to kill me at the moment but she says she's gonna try to help abit.

I'm now allowed to stay in my house till September. That gives me time to get a job, get money, find a place, get baby stuff, it gives me time to think. I'm gratefull.

Just thought I'd update you guys


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MystikaFaith
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Actually, I would honestly love to have a kid. I've always wanted a baby. I love children and I know I could play a positive role in a childs life.

But it's the other aspects which scare me. I'm afraid I won't be able to finish school, I'm afraid I won't have enough money, I'm afraid I won't be able to offer a child everything that other parents can give their children.


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mamaalli
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but you can. Your age is not a deterrant. It will be hard and you may struggle but if you honestly WANT to be a mom, then you will be a great one.

Educate yourself now about pregnancy, childbirth, infant and child care. Make that plan. DON'T SETTLE!!! Anything you could have and would have done before, you still can and will do. Have faith. You can do this.


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Heather
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(Psssst...and there certainly are no shortage of great young mom role models -- hint, hint -- to look to for guidance, and to be able to see that if you want to do something, you can.)
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emsily0
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i just wanted to offer my support. i know i'm not in your position and i might not be the best empathizer, but i certainly know what it's like to struggle with decisions and life changes like this. i think it's really brave of you to be able to look this in the eye like you are. i know it's probably easy to get scared, but you're doing a great job just by coming here and talking about it and getting it out in the open with your boyfriend and your parents. like mamaalli is saying, i think you'll be fine and you'll be able to realize your dreams - going to med school and becoming a doctor - you're so ambitious and you seem like that's really what you want badly to do with your life - if you have such strong dreams like that, i don't think you should let yourself forget about them.

oh, yeah: about missing school? I don't know what it's like in canada, but one of my friends missed a year of school because of family problems, and she is going to graduate on time. she's applying for college for the spring semester instead of the fall semester, but she's so smart and she's going to get wherever she wants to go. i know that a baby is more than a 1 year delay, but you know - don't let these things get in your way. you can do it. and we're here for you if you ever need to talk.

em

------------------
Love is a word that is constantly heard
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But hating, my boy, is an art.
-Ogden Nash


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MystikaFaith
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Thanks so much for all your support, I'm finally thinking that I will be able to make it. My mom still reminds me about how disapointed in me she is, but finally she's talking to me and being 'somewhat' supportive. My dad took me out for supper last night and he actually said "being pregnant isn't necassarily a bad thing, but it's gonna be hard, but I know you can do it and I'll be there for you" That meant so much. Out of everybody I knew, I thought he'd be the first to disown me.

Ironically I took a parenting class last semester, it was either that or religion I'm glad I picked that now. And lately I've been searching around for every website with any info that could help me out. I know I'm not clueless when it comes to pregnancy and babies and kids. When my mom was pregnant I went with her to the majority of her doctor appointments and was with her during labor up to a few minutes before she gave birth to my brother. I know how to look after a kid, I'm just gonna have to get used to the whole spitting up thing again But if I remember correctly you don't even notice after awhile...

Now, I'm actually looking forward to this, I don't think I could tell my mom that though cause she'd probably think I planned it or something but I think I'm gonna make the most out of this no matter how hard it's gonna be.

As for school, I know highschool won't be that much of a problem. I'm in grade 11 and still planning on going on through to grade 13. (it's an Ontario thing). I still plan on taking independant study for one semester (just found out they have one) then I'll return. My grades are pretty high, everything's above 80% except math and I'm sure if I get that up I could get a scholarship.

But here I am now, with nothing much to do but wait till Tuesday....


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mamaalli
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as an independant studies graduate, I suggest looking in to more than one semester of it. Because with IS, you can stay with the baby (great! Most moms cant! You need that time...) get a part or full time job and work more hours than if you are in school, and you can work ahead and graduate EARLY! In one semester, it will be hard to get too far ahead. But in a year and half you could probably be finished, if you HUSTLE!

I am so glad you are feeling better! Here are some great websites
www.girlmom.com www.hipmama.com www.mothersnature.com www.amitysworld.com www.breasfeeding.com www.bestfed.com www.alternamoms.com www.alternativeparenting.com www.birthlove.com www.unassistedbirth.com www.lalecheleague.org

I have way more! Just ask!


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MystikaFaith
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I have another problem. More stress. More confusion. Maybe this doesn't apply to this board but I need help.I got home from school and my mom bitched me out completely. Mike's mom called, and apparently my story is competely different then what she's heard from others. Apparently Shawn (my so-called best friend) is going around saying he's ******* me and the kids his, and calls Mike's place 30 to 40 times a day trying to start **** . And apparently Mike's getting so stressed out over this that he's getting seizures again and having heart problems and this is my fault. And the last time he went to Ottawa was cause of the his heart problem and might need heart surgery. And since I apparently don't know who the father is if I am pregnant I have to take a paternity test and if it's Mike's his mom is gonna go for custody. Mike's mom says I'm no longer allowed to talk to Mike, my mom won't let me talk to Mike, I'm not allowed to talk to Shawn and if he comes on our property my mom's gonna get the cops after him for trespassing. And Shawn's saying that I'm 3 months pregnant and I have a appointment to have an abortion on Tuesday. The same ******* day I was planning on going to the doctor's to get tested! My mom and Mike's mom made a pact to break me and Mike up we're not allowed near each other. My mom bought me another at home test. I take it in the morning.

I never did anything with Shawn, I know if I am pregnant it is Mike's and there is no other possibility. I had no clue about any of this **** before hand. I really don't need this. Not me Not now.

I'm flipping I'm stressed. I've been crying my eyes out for the past hour. I don't know what the **** is happening. Please help...


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Heather
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Mystika, how old are you?

(That'd basically make a difference in what I'd suggest)


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LilBlueSmurf
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Just a question ...

Why are you still saying "if" you're pregnant? Why don't you know by now? I really dont understand how you can keep wondering what is going on w/ your body. Especially when there's no real need why you have to ...


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emsily0
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miz s -
i believe mystika is in grade 11, which would make her 16 or 17 years old.

em


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MystikaFaith
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I'm 16 years old and won't be 17 till September. So yeah I'm young.

I took the pregnancy test this morning again. And yes I'm pregnant, it wasn't in my head. My mom thinks I did on purpose and for the life of me I can't convince her other wise so I've stopped trying.

I'm meeting Mike today at noon at the coffee shop and we have alot of things to talk about.

I'm beginning to think about Adoption. I'm so afraid I won't be able to give my baby everything it needs, I'd try but to be honest it would almost be cruel to put a kid through this. I really don't have much of a problem putting a child before me. I don't mind not having the greatest clothes, I don't mind not having the greatest clothes, but I do mind the fact that getting into med school is almost unattainable fantasy now.

I can't expect Mike to watch the kid everyday while I go to school. I understand that, and I understand that he should have a life too. I don't want to get resentfull and if I don't get to University I'm afraid I will be despite how much I want to be apart of my kids life and give everything I can to contribute to it's growing up.

But in away I feel that I can't really be a good parent unless I'm everything I can be, and I've become something in life. I know I can finish highschool but I have no clue how I could get into University or Collage with the lack of money, and time because of a child.

MystikaFaith


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