The last few relationships I have been in, I found that I do not have trouble getting erect. But it does take me an incredible amount of time to orgasm. To the point that I sometimes have to ask the girl if she wants to stop or rest if she is pleasuring me. The 3rd time I had sex with my last girlfriend I really had to tell her to rest and let me do something instead. I am not all that brilliant at bringing girls to orgasm and luckily I have been with girls who do not fake it so at least I know that, but they find it a lot easier than me??Its not like I do not find womens bodies attractive or anything else about them, I absolutely do!!I don't tell anyone about this, the only person I told said to me that I should be grateful and kinda hinted I was bragging, which Ia m definitely not. sex sessions that last hours sound great 'in theory' but the girl starts to wonder if there is 'something wrong with her' if it takes a guy that long. The girl before that, after we broke up, kept hinting that I am gay and do not realise it, but I know I am not. What is this 'problem' called and should it affect intimacy?
Posts: 51 | From: Ireland | Registered: Apr 2014
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It can be hard to know why orgasm does or doesn't happen. Sometimes when it takes a while for folks of any gender to reach orgasm (or they don't reach it at all) during sex, it can be because there's something off in the situation: someone might be stressed or distracted from sex, there might be an issue in the relationship that's bleeding into sexual enjoyment. Sometimes, though, it might just be that the kind of sex you're having isn't working so well right now, and you might want to try something else, or just take a break from sex altogether for a bit.
It doesn't mean anything's wrong with you. Bodies aren't machines, and don't always perform as we expect or want them to. And if women you're with are giving you a hard time about it, or think that there's something wrong with her because you aren't orgasming, it might be that they have some misconceptions about how all this works, too. I do think it's always a good idea to talk with partners about sex, including what's working or not working for you, what you enjoy, etc. and if someone says "is there something wrong with me?" you can explain what you do enjoy about sex with her, even if you're not reaching orgasm, or talk about ways you think you might be able to.
[ 07-07-2014, 04:37 PM: Message edited by: Molias ]
Posts: 1352 | From: San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2013
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Hey Dylan! I scanned through the article Molias posted and I think that there's a lot of useful stuff in there, especially about sex not just being about orgasm. On top of it, I just thought that I'd mention that this is something that happens with me and my partner and something that we've been working with in our relationship so if you want to have a chat about that then I'd be happy to! I'd like to check with him if it's OK for me to share what he's told me about his feelings here but even if he's not comfortable with that then I can give you my female point of view on how I feel/ have felt about that in our relationship, if you want.
Posts: 49 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2013
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