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Author Topic: Hypersexuality?
sweet_thing
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I'm a bit confused/concerned about how exactly one can be defined as hypersexual. My boyfriend kinda jokingly called me a nymphomaniac the other night, but I still kinda took offense to it. But then I started thinking, "am I really obsessed with sex?" How do you even define being obsessed with sex? Isn't the amount of sexual activity a person participates in an individual thing that varies from person to person? Does it need to be a hindrance to my every day life to be considered an obsession or addiction?

I've been sexually active for a long time now, but I've only kind of recently been sexually active with a partner (eight months or so). Could this be a factor? How do you define a healthy sex life? Sorry for all the questions, I'm really confused.

Posts: 55 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
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You're right: "too much sex" is a very iffy term, and definitely not something that can be defined absolutely. Same goes for what's a healthy sex life.

Do you feel that you are having "too much sex"? Do you feel uncomfortable with the amount of sex you are having, for whatever reason? Do you feel that it is getting in the way of your life?

So, terms like "hypersexuality" and "nymphomania" aren't at all useful in this context, and serve to do nothing besides make you feel pretty crappy about yourself.

Have you talked to your partner about what he means by calling you a nymphomania, and how it made you feel?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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sweet_thing
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I really don't, at least I haven't thought that I have. We have sex on average about three times a week, which we've both been satisfied with, and I don't have any real desire to have sex more often than we already do. I don't masturbate on my own as often anymore, sometimes just once a week, sometimes not at all. I don't feel like it gets in the way of my daily life either, it's more like it's become a part of my daily life. And my boyfriend and I don't have sex every single time we're together either.

As for talking about it with him, I really haven't. He just kind of said it in a joking, off-handed manner last night while we were talking. When I got a bit defensive he said, "who says its a bad thing?" I don't think he was being really serious about the matter, I think I just let it get to me. Should I sit down and talk to him seriously about it though?

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September
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So you're happy with the amount of sex you're having, and you feel comfortable with it? Then I'd say everything is a-okay.

If you felt offended by what he said, it's certainly worth talking to him about, if only to ensure he understands why it upset you.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9166 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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