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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Bullied and Depressed

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Author Topic: Bullied and Depressed
ScatteredPetals
Neophyte
Member # 76832

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I've been in ballet since I was two and a half, so anything I ate automatically disapeared. Even when I walk around the house I find myself prouncing around doing multiple flips and turns because it came second nature to my body. But in elementary school and in intermediate I would get bullied for being a skeleton or being too skinny and ugly. In middle chool I thought i filled out a bit. I got some chest (I'm not very lucky in that department) I got contacts, make-up, cut my hair, found my style, and learned the greatness of a flat-iron. But people still thought I looked too skinny or too flat-chested. It's started to bother me less and less it just gets lonely when everyone in your school only looks at appereances. I never thought I was remarkebly skinny or anything, which I'm not, but I'm tired or worrying about what people see in my physical self and how they don't look at me for inside. I've become very lonely and depressed for these reasons and don't know what exactly I'm supposed to do in this case. If it's hapenned my whole life, are there going to be people out there who can see me for who I truly am?? Is it just the town I live in(it doesnt't have a very good rep), or do i just not let anyone get close. I get shy alot so it takes a while to find a true friend I just hope that I can leave this town someday, even if it sound like I'm running away.

[ 08-23-2011, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: ScatteredPetals ]

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-ScatteredPetals

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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If what you're asking is if someone's weight can have an impact on their health, yes, it can (though the why of very low or very high weights is more the issue), and that includes thin people.

But I'm guessing no one harassing you has any investment in your health. If they did, they wouldn't be harassing you.

People can and do harass people about just about everything there is under the sun. And one of the areas people can and do get harassed around is appearance, including body shapes and sizes of all sorts.

But that this is happening to you isn't about YOU being "to" anything. It's not about a problem with you, it's about people choosing to harass and the problem they are creating for you. It's about their problem -- whatever it is -- and then making that your problem by taking it out on you.

[ 08-23-2011, 01:01 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ScatteredPetals
Neophyte
Member # 76832

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Thanks Heather I just have another question. Is everywhere I go going to be like this because a large population of my school bullies me all the time. although I learned not to care what they think of me, it gets seriously lonely and hard to deal with. I have my share of friends but I can't wait to graduate and leave this town so I can go to college and learn to be a counselor, but sometimes I can't stop myself from feeling immensly lonely. I was wondering if it was like this everywhere or if I'm just being too shy.

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-ScatteredPetals

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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High school is high school. It is not the rest of your life. It is only this time of your life. I totally promise.

As well, what things are like in one school isn't what they are like in all schools. How one peer group behaves isn't how another does.

By all means, bullying and harassment are real and pervasive social problems, so, unfortunately, any of us -- you, me or anyone at all -- can be harassed in the world. I don't think there's anywhere in the wider world anyone can go and be guaranteed harassment will never occur, be it to them or to anyone else.

But bullying and harassment also sometimes crimes and are absolutely behaviours that should be addressed to help keep everyone safe. In schools where bullying is happening, for instance, school administrations should be working to prevent and end harassment when they know that it is occurring. have you said anything to any teachers, counselors or administrators at school? If not, I'd encourage you to. Harassment isn't something people just need to tolerate or suck up and allow to derail their lives and well-being.

Remember, too, this also isn't about you. In other words, if you have the idea that harassment will follow you everywhere you go because it's about whatever thing people are harassing you about, please try and let that go. This is about people who harass, not the people who ARE harassed. Do you understand the critical difference?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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(Also, I just realized you radically changed and added way more to your initial post. So, if you want me to revisit it in this conversation and address the things there now, I can do that.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Michelle Ravel
Activist
Member # 21100

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I was a skinny kid too. Trust me--it gets better when you leave high school. People can be so picky in high school. They'll tease you about anything.

Don't worry about your body if you're healthy. It's good you're staying physically active by doing ballet. Keep it up!

Through your life, many men (or women, if that's what you want!) will find your body type attractive.

Posts: 51 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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