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Author Topic: unpleasurable sex
hazel eyes
Neophyte
Member # 75863

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i need advice! im 17 and i've started having sex about 4 months ago with my boyfriend of 3 years. the problem is when we have sex i don't get an orgasm or feel anything nice. i don't know why. i can get an orgasm when he plays with my clit and it feels nice when he fingers me but i get nothing from intercourse. i love him to death and trust him completely so trust isn't an issue and we've both only had sex with each other so its unlikely we have any diseases. we've tried lots of different positions and used lube and he makes me very aroused so i can't think what the problem could be. [Confused]
Posts: 1 | From: europe | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kachina
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 42505

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That's totally normal. Most women do not orgasm from intercourse alone. Check out this article:
The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

Posts: 870 | From: Seattle | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Michelle Ravel
Activist
Member # 21100

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Sex for women usually involves clitoral stimulation, because that, usually, is how we have an orgasm. I'm glad he's playing with your clitoris--you guys are doing everything just fine.
Posts: 51 | From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It might also help to bear in mind that sometimes people have the idea that it's common for only one sexual activity to be happening at a time, or that's how it has to go.

In reality, it's more common for people really engaged in sex and enjoying sex not to be doing things in isolation like that. In other words, people having intercourse can and do kiss at the same time, engage in breast stimulation at the same time, engage in things using hands and fingers on the external clitoris, testes or anus at the same time, etc.

So, when you hear people talking about enjoying intercourse, be sure you're not assuming that "intercourse" for them doesn't include more than just that at a given time. Because often, it does.

Make sense?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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