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Author Topic: Disgusted by sex/sex talk?
blush
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Whenever I talk with my boyfriend we usually talk about sexual things. I sometimes do with my friends too. Its strange usually I don't really care about this...in fact I'm quiet fond of talking about it, joking about it, and such. I'm not a person who is reserved when it comes to this but for some reason whenever I talk to my boyfriend about sex or what we should do I suddenly get disgusted. I finally have a guy that I can try things out with and who is understanding...so whats wrong with me?

PS. I'm still a virgin...could this be why?

[ 06-21-2011, 08:21 PM: Message edited by: orose37 ]

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Heather
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I'm not sure what you mean by the word virgin, since that means a lot of different things to different people. Do you mean you haven't had sexual experiences before?

Disgust is a pretty strong word, so I just want to make sure that is how you're feeling: grossed out? repulsed? If so, what kinds of things are you talking about with your boyfriend when you're feeling that way? Do you feel like you're both talking about sex in ways you feel comfortable with: in other words, is it about the topic or about the way you're talking?

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
I'm not sure what you mean by the word virgin, since that means a lot of different things to different people. Do you mean you haven't had sexual experiences before?

Disgust is a pretty strong word, so I just want to make sure that is how you're feeling: grossed out? repulsed? If so, what kinds of things are you talking about with your boyfriend when you're feeling that way? Do you feel like you're both talking about sex in ways you feel comfortable with: in other words, is it about the topic or about the way you're talking?

Sorry I should have been more specific. By virgin I meant that so far I've only had fingering and given oral. I've never been 'penetrated.'

I used disgusted because its a strong feeling. I suddenly just get this repulsed feeling like I'm about to be sick. When we talk about sex its about what 'new things' we'd like to do or about what he or I like kink wise. For some reason when ever we get on the subject of oral or doing such things (even though I'm fine with watching it online or talking about them to others) I suddenly feel disgusted with him. Its not all the time but most of the time I find myself frowning.

The same goes for the actual "sex." After the first time I did oral for him I was a bit shaken up after wards. I felt dirty for some reason even if I don't view sex as dirty. I would feel that way right before oral a few times after too. Which makes me think that I have some kind of issue going on. I'd really like to fix it. Thank you for any help.

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Heather
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Thanks, that fills me in a lot more. (And just so you know, I promise, nothing super-magic happens if and when someone has vaginal intercourse when it comes to feelings like this or much else. The idea everything changes if and when that's something someone does is usually more myth than fact unless a person becomes pregnant, since that can certainly change everything.)

Since it sounds like you're having yucky feelings both talking about sex AND engaging in sex with this person, are you sure that this is someone you want to be sexual with at the time? And if so, that this is something you feel comfortable being sexual with?

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
Thanks, that fills me in a lot more. (And just so you know, I promise, nothing super-magic happens if and when someone has vaginal intercourse when it comes to feelings like this or much else. The idea everything changes if and when that's something someone does is usually more myth than fact unless a person becomes pregnant, since that can certainly change everything.)

Since it sounds like you're having yucky feelings both talking about sex AND engaging in sex with this person, are you sure that this is someone you want to be sexual with at the time? And if so, that this is something you feel comfortable being sexual with?

I feel like I should be comfortable with him because he is such a sweet boy. He listens to me and is very understanding but sex is a big thing for him so even if I don't 'love' him I really do want to be comfortable with him. I don't just want to tell him 'no' because I feel like I'm letting him down and because its not always 'bad.' Maybe its because I feel like I'm not getting as much back from the experience as he is? I'm sorry for taking up you time, thank you very much for your replies !
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Heather
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No need to apologize, this is what we're here for!

Here's the thing: we don't always have sexual feelings for someone just because they're a nice person. So, the fact that he's a sweetie doesn't mean you're going to have sexual feelings for him. It also doesn't mean you'll feel sexually comfortable for him.

Another big red flag for me is you saying you don't feel able to tell him no and worry about letting him down.

That is something you are no doubt going to feel uncomfortable with, because we should always feel able to say no just as much as we feel able to say yes. And if we don't feel able to say no, that makes our yes awfully meaningless. It also will usually tend to make sex feel pretty darn ooky.

So. Do you think this is about just not feeling it when it comes to having sexual feelings for him? Or, if you have those feelings, is perhaps about having things move much too fast, where you haven't yet had time to get comfortable both being sexual with this person and talking about sex?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
No need to apologize, this is what we're here for!

Here's the thing: we don't always have sexual feelings for someone just because they're a nice person. So, the fact that he's a sweetie doesn't mean you're going to have sexual feelings for him. It also doesn't mean you'll feel sexually comfortable for him.

Another big red flag for me is you saying you don't feel able to tell him no and worry about letting him down.

That is something you are no doubt going to feel uncomfortable with, because we should always feel able to say no just as much as we feel able to say yes. And if we don't feel able to say no, that makes our yes awfully meaningless. It also will usually tend to make sex feel pretty darn ooky.

So. Do you think this is about just not feeling it when it comes to having sexual feelings for him? Or, if you have those feelings, is perhaps about having things move much too fast, where you haven't yet had time to get comfortable both being sexual with this person and talking about sex?

To tell you the truth its incredible hard for me to feel attracted to people in general. I'm not making it up. I don't think sexually or 'get the tingles' when I see half naked men or women walking around the beach or on TV. I never thought there was something wrong with this until I noticed that EVERYONE else did. They'd say 'damn I'd do her' or 'He is SO hot.' When asked if I agreed if she/he was hot I'd say I saw nothing special and I'd be called crazy. I'm not jealous of these people or anything because their beautiful. I just never saw them as attractive. Its also why when I see porn I much rather read it and only indulge in watching it when I want to 'try something new'. When I watch it I tend to get a /bit/ turned on but sometimes I also get the same sick feeling. I'm not sure why but while the rest of my friends are orgasming over celebrities and guys/girls they know I just feel...nothing. I know what kinks I like to read about and what type of sex I'd like to try based on that but...when I actually get the chance with him I usually get turned off. So, your right probably right and I'm just not into him so much ? I need to be a bit more assertive I know...I'm working on that. I've always had problems with it.

[ 06-21-2011, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: orose37 ]

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Heather
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You know, that's okay, and I don't think you're making anything up.

Some people have very wide ranges of attraction: in other words, they see or find many, many people who they find sexually appealing or have sexual feelings for. For others, their range is very, vary narrow. And some people, though rare (around 1% of the population by estimates, which isn't even all THAT rare when you remember how many people 1% is), they find they don't feel sexual attraction to others, period. And of course, we're also all ever evolving and changing in our sexuality, so it may also be that you just haven't yet felt those feelings strongly, or haven't yet identified who, exactly, you feel attraction to or found that those people are the people you're meeting.

But these aren't feelings anyone can force. We either feel them or we don't, and trying to make them be there when they're not, and even more so, trying to be sexual when we know we aren't feeling it, is usually only going to leave you feeling awful.

So, if you're pretty darn sure you just don't have these feelings for this guy, then my very best advice is to make that clear to him and back off doing anything with him, whether it's talking or doing, that doesn't feel right to you and doesn't leave you feeling really good, before, during and after.

I have to finish my workday today, but if you need some help on how to have that conversation, I'll be happy to talk with you some more tomorrow.

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
You know, that's okay, and I don't think you're making anything up.

Some people have very wide ranges of attraction: in other words, they see or find many, many people who they find sexually appealing or have sexual feelings for. For others, their range is very, vary narrow. And some people, though rare (around 1% of the population by estimates, which isn't even all THAT rare when you remember how many people 1% is), they find they don't feel sexual attraction to others, period. And of course, we're also all ever evolving and changing in our sexuality, so it may also be that you just haven't yet felt those feelings strongly, or haven't yet identified who, exactly, you feel attraction to or found that those people are the people you're meeting.

But these aren't feelings anyone can force. We either feel them or we don't, and trying to make them be there when they're not, and even more so, trying to be sexual when we know we aren't feeling it, is usually only going to leave you feeling awful.

So, if you're pretty darn sure you just don't have these feelings for this guy, then my very best advice is to make that clear to him and back off doing anything with him, whether it's talking or doing, that doesn't feel right to you and doesn't leave you feeling really good, before, during and after.

I have to finish my workday today, but if you need some help on how to have that conversation, I'll be happy to talk with you some more tomorrow.

Thank you very much and if you have time tomorrow I'd like to get a bit of advice on it. You've made me feel better and more 'normal.' ^^
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Heather
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I'm so glad you're feeling better about this. [Smile]

So, want to fill me in on what you think you need in order to have this conversations? Are there specific things that you feel uncomfortable expressing? Is this someone who, so far -- setting sex talk aside -- you have been able to talk with comfortably about serious things and who has responded well?

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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
I'm so glad you're feeling better about this. [Smile]

So, want to fill me in on what you think you need in order to have this conversations? Are there specific things that you feel uncomfortable expressing? Is this someone who, so far -- setting sex talk aside -- you have been able to talk with comfortably about serious things and who has responded well?

Sorry for taking so long to come back. I was a bit busy. Yes, I would like to know how I can tone it down (sex/sex talk) without hurt him or making him feel inadequate in this department. I have been able to talk to him comfortably about serious issues and he does respond well to many of those conversations.
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The Confused One
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If it helps, I'm much like you in the aspects of not feeling anything in general. When people tell me someone is hot, I usually just go, "Yeah, he/she is okay. Not my type though." My friends always look at me weird for that lol.

I too, don't get much from watching porn [Razz] Reading is way more intense and fun, imo. Let the imaginations run!, they say! XD

So no, you're not alone in thinking like that, though I don't feel disgusted. For me, it's more of, not interested. Or even if there IS an interest, it's not something I go "WHOA!" about. I'm also not assertive myself, so I can pretty much relate XD

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by The Confused One:
If it helps, I'm much like you in the aspects of not feeling anything in general. When people tell me someone is hot, I usually just go, "Yeah, he/she is okay. Not my type though." My friends always look at me weird for that lol.

I too, don't get much from watching porn [Razz] Reading is way more intense and fun, imo. Let the imaginations run!, they say! XD

So no, you're not alone in thinking like that, though I don't feel disgusted. For me, it's more of, not interested. Or even if there IS an interest, it's not something I go "WHOA!" about. I'm also not assertive myself, so I can pretty much relate XD

Aw. Thank you so much! Hardly anyone I know is like this and the very few who are give me really childish answers like "its 'cause boys are ICKY" (not their not five, unfortunately). I'm so relived that other people are also like this (it makes me feel no longer alone).
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The Confused One
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And guys say the same about girls being icky [Razz] I thought I was alone in thinking like this too, at first, but then I thought, "Theres a lot of people in the world. I wasn't the first person born. I'm sure there was at least one other person who felt the way I did."

It helps to realise that you're just as human as everyone else, despite having different opinions and preferences [Smile]

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Heather
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orose37: have you already communicated to him that you're not interested in a sexual relationship of any kind with him? You're asking here about asking him to tone down sex talk, but I think that making clear you're not interested in being sexual with him, including in conversation, is where this needs to start. (And should end, really, once you've made that clear.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
orose37: have you already communicated to him that you're not interested in a sexual relationship of any kind with him? You're asking here about asking him to tone down sex talk, but I think that making clear you're not interested in being sexual with him, including in conversation, is where this needs to start. (And should end, really, once you've made that clear.)

I was hoping I could tone it down a bit first and then slowly end any sexual interactions with him...or would that be a bad idea ?
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Heather
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When we know we don't want something with someone that they want from us, I think the best approach is to be clear and direct about that. I think that is what tends to work out best for both people. It's also going to likely be hard for him to understand why you're asking for what you are if you're in a sexual relationship and he has expectations of being in that with you.

Want to fill me in on why you think you feel reluctant to do that?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
When we know we don't want something with someone that they want from us, I think the best approach is to be clear and direct about that. I think that is what tends to work out best for both people. It's also going to likely be hard for him to understand why you're asking for what you are if you're in a sexual relationship and he has expectations of being in that with you.

Want to fill me in on why you think you feel reluctant to do that?

I just really don't won't to disappoint him. I'm not in love with him or crazy about him or anything like that but I have gotten very used to having him around me and I do like the guy. I feel very comfortable around him (when it comes to other things not involving sex) and I know that sex is a big issue for him.

Also, he is depressive and has been telling me many things about a side of him people usually dont see . I really don't want to think he 'scared me of' by letting me in. I honestly do think he will assume that regardless of what I say and I don't want him to think that.


Theres also the whole I would like to get physical with him at some point just...not now. For some reason I'm really not comfortable now. I feel no sexual attraction to him or desires like he does but I'm freaking out that I will soon. . .which I know isn't likely but I keep thinking 'what if' its just that I'm not used to sexual things with others. Maybe if i get used to it Ill feel more inclined to do them with him?

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Heather
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I have to question your logic here.

having any kind of sex or being sexual in any way when we don't have those feelings or don't want to do those things does not usually change our feelings to having us start to feel sexual or want those things. "Fake it 'til you make it," is a losing sexual strategy almost always when people don't have sexual feelings or desires at all in a situation or for a given person.

What more often happens when people do that is that they instead just develop negative feelings about sex and sexuality, understandably. Being forced to try and do something we don't feel or enjoy, or forcing ourselves, is usually a very negative experience.

So, if you want to create an environment for yourself in which you'll become comfortable being sexual with others, the right thing to do is to allow yourself not to engage in things you aren't comfortable with or don't want, and to create healthy boundaries with other people.

(This trouble you're having is one of those things I was talking about the other day which likely has some relationship to the sexual abuse you survived: this is often a big problem for survivors, especially survivors who haven't gotten any help in healing, and/or who have just tried to push the abuse to the back of their minds or diminish it.)

Here's a big thing for you to know: someone with the earnest maturity to really be sexual in a healthy way with other people is someone who is not going to have an issue with boundaries or people declining on sex. That kind of person also is going to have the ability to manage their own feelings of disappointment or rejection if and when they have them and take care of themselves in that way.

You not creating healthy boundaries isn't going to be good for you or good for anyone else. We don't help anyone with sexual issues, whatever they may be, by not having boundaries or by being dishonest about sexual feelings they have but we don't. We also don't help anyone by trying to be sexual when we don't really want to be. Those things actually have the capacity to do everyone in those situations very real harm.

So, maybe if you put up your boundaries and are clear about your feelings, he'll feel disappointed. That's okay: disappointment is a normal part of life that most healthy people do deal with and can deal with without falling apart. If you truly don't think he can, that's not a sound reason to be sexual with him: it's actually one more reason NOT to be, because he's unlikely to be able to be in a healthy sexual relationship, then.

All of this making sense?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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blush
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
I have to question your logic here.

having any kind of sex or being sexual in any way when we don't have those feelings or don't want to do those things does not usually change our feelings to having us start to feel sexual or want those things. "Fake it 'til you make it," is a losing sexual strategy almost always when people don't have sexual feelings or desires at all in a situation or for a given person.

What more often happens when people do that is that they instead just develop negative feelings about sex and sexuality, understandably. Being forced to try and do something we don't feel or enjoy, or forcing ourselves, is usually a very negative experience.

So, if you want to create an environment for yourself in which you'll become comfortable being sexual with others, the right thing to do is to allow yourself not to engage in things you aren't comfortable with or don't want, and to create healthy boundaries with other people.

(This trouble you're having is one of those things I was talking about the other day which likely has some relationship to the sexual abuse you survived: this is often a big problem for survivors, especially survivors who haven't gotten any help in healing, and/or who have just tried to push the abuse to the back of their minds or diminish it.)

Here's a big thing for you to know: someone with the earnest maturity to really be sexual in a healthy way with other people is someone who is not going to have an issue with boundaries or people declining on sex. That kind of person also is going to have the ability to manage their own feelings of disappointment or rejection if and when they have them and take care of themselves in that way.

You not creating healthy boundaries isn't going to be good for you or good for anyone else. We don't help anyone with sexual issues, whatever they may be, by not having boundaries or by being dishonest about sexual feelings they have but we don't. We also don't help anyone by trying to be sexual when we don't really want to be. Those things actually have the capacity to do everyone in those situations very real harm.

So, maybe if you put up your boundaries and are clear about your feelings, he'll feel disappointed. That's okay: disappointment is a normal part of life that most healthy people do deal with and can deal with without falling apart. If you truly don't think he can, that's not a sound reason to be sexual with him: it's actually one more reason NOT to be, because he's unlikely to be able to be in a healthy sexual relationship, then.

All of this making sense?

Ya, your right. I need to learn how to deal with my issues about sex and sexual encounters first and how to set boundaries. Ill stop doing sexual things with him and go back to just holding hands and hanging out. I'm sure he will notice that I'm not ready to go further now when I do this. I never thought of some of these things like that. I'm not sure why but I just did not. I have a hard time dealing with my feelings when it comes to other people. I might understand them well when I'm alone and thinking the situation over however once Im with people they get all jumbled and I second guess myself. I'm not sure why but I have always had problems with second guessing myself.
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lovelopez
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Love doesn't always result in great sex, and certainly, otherwise very happy couples have problems with sex sometimes. And sex without love can be extremely wonderful with the right partner. It's a matter of your lover knowing the right ways to touch you and appeal to you. Love certainly helps, in that the whole brain chemistry and bonding things are working with the touching and everything else. However, I've known people who said they can't have good sex with someone they loved, and that it had to be with someone they didn't have those feelings for. Some people say the best sex they've had is with people they weren't in love with. I think it varies and depends on the person.

However, like I said, I think your situation is also that you've found someone who's sexual skills match your sexual desires. Some people who don't have great sex at first, can have great sex if they're both willing to learn to do what pleases the other sexually.

[I deleted your signature because it links to a site which violates our guidelines. Please make sure in the future that your posts follow the guidelines we have set out. Thanks! -Karybu]

[ 08-16-2012, 12:48 AM: Message edited by: Karybu ]

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