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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » A question about pleasure

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Author Topic: A question about pleasure
wordnerd25
Neophyte
Member # 58644

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Are some people just not meant to have as much sexual pleasure as others? I mean, I know that you have to get to know your body, etc., but are some people just inherently more or less sexual than others?
Posts: 29 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Captain Girl
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I do think that people differ in how sexual they are. But I absolutely don't believe that some people are just meant to have more or less pleasure than other people.
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wordnerd25
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What do you mean when you say that some people are "more sexual," then?
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WesLuck
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I think what was meant is that some people have desire for sexual activity more often than others. But more sex doesn't necessarily mean that they feel happy or pleasured more often. In some ways, needing to have more sex can make certain issues with compatibility more of an issue. It's like that song (which I suppose you could say is a little heterosexist [Wink] ) "Some girls need a lot of loving, and some girls don't." Need for sexual activity is a variable just like many characteristics of an individual, and can vary at different times even with the one individual. Doesn't mean one gets more pleasure (when defined as any kind of happiness) than the other, just that one desires sex more frequently. [Smile]
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I might rephrase the statement that some people are more or less sexual by taking the quantification out, or at least, putting it in a different context.

For sure, sexuality can feel like a bigger part of who someone is or of someone's life than it does for someone else, and can also feel like a bigger part of who we are and our lives during one time of life than another.

But I'd also make sure to be clear that sexuality is tough to put in "more" and "less" categories because we don not all have the same sexuality. Human sexuality is incredibly diverse, in how it feels, in how we experience it and what our experiences are, in what we do and don't desire, do and don't enjoy, do and don't experience as sexual in the first place.

And with sexual pleasure, like any other kind of pleasure, some people will have a harder time and some folks an easier one experiencing pleasure. Sometimes that's about what people like and what opportunities they have. For instance, for a person who enjoys things many people do, and who has a lot of opportunities to explore that, finding pleasure can be a lot easier than it is for another person with both less opportunity and who enjoys things fewer people enjoy. But there are also SO many other things that can be barriers to sexual (or any kind of) pleasure besides that: how we were raised, how we feel about sex and/or pleasure, how our bodies uniquely function (including conditions like, say, depression, anxiety or nervous system disorders that can get in the way of pleasure), how the whole of someone's life is going, and so much more.

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WesLuck
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Yes. The problem with using "more" and "less" is that it is inherently implied that "more" is better than "less". But there are just so many factors. And the mind especially is a big factor in sexual experience. And minds are so complex, and the ways they develop and change so varied, it's no wonder than sexual experience is so complex, too, especially when it comes to a meeting of more than one mind! [Smile]

I suggest a good helping of healthy Scarleteen usage and discussion. =)

[ 06-13-2011, 10:51 AM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]

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