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Author Topic: Why do I feel like this all the time?
ShanShan
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I don't know why, but for some reason I have this feeling of immense fear or anxiety when my friends don't talk to me like they normally do. I had never had this happen before, and when I asked a teacher, they said it was probably because you have never been as close to your friends as now.

I hate this feeling, because I feel like I am annoying my friends whenever I worry. Like I have one friend who has had a bad life, and he is set off from the slightest thing. I worry that I will loose him and all of my close friends. Why do I feel like this, why is it so important to me and not everyone else?

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
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What do you mean when you say your friends aren't talking to you like they normally do? Is there a specific context involved?

I want to say, though, that feeling some anxiety about relationships with friends is definitely something a lot of people go through. If you want, we can talk about ways to deal with that anxiety, both in terms of knowing how to calm yourself down and in terms of communicating with your friends if something's bothering you. [Smile]

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ďIn a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I donít know what I am. I donít know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.Ē

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ShanShan
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Well, me and my friends talk everyday. When they don't talk to me, I have an instinct to become nervous and worries.

And yes, that would be great thank you.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
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Oh, I see what you mean. I thought you meant they were talking to you differently. [Smile]

Okay, so when you're feeling nervous that they're not talking to you, what are the sort of things you're thinking? What is it that you're worried will happen?

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ďIn a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I donít know what I am. I donít know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.Ē

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ShanShan
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Well, I mainly feel that they have had something happened to them. It's mainly only two of them, one has a elf-destructive past and recently he is easily set off. While the other friend has been acting odd lately, so I fear that she is ignoring me, this is what I fear with most of my friends.

It was never this bad when there was school, but now I am just alone.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
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I've experienced a lot of thoughts like that, too. Really, it's important to hold on to the fact that it's unlikely in any short period that something is going to happen to one of our friends, and it's not productive to worry about it.

If you're concerned about your one friend who is easily set off, would you feel comfortable inviting him to give you a call if he's feeling like he wants to do something harmful to himself, for example? The knowledge that he'll call you if he needs help might help you to relax and concentrate on your own needs inbetween.

I think that's really important - you have needs here. It's nice that you worry about your friends, but I'm hearing that that's not making you happy, so a priority could be using that worrying time to take care of you. You're someone you know for sure is not feeling good, and you can help yourself out.

When you're feeling anxious, things like meditating, taking slow deep breaths, yoga, listening to relaxing music, or having a cup of tea or cocoa or something else to eat or drink that you find soothing can really help. It's good to take that amount of time to take care of yourself - think about what it is you would do for your friends if you knew they were upset, recognise that it's you who's upset, and do things to comfort you. [Smile]

[ 06-11-2011, 09:02 PM: Message edited by: patrickvienna ]

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ďIn a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I donít know what I am. I donít know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.Ē

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ShanShan
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Thanks so much Patrick. Ill definately take what you said and follow through. Really thank you.

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I have a wonderful bunch of coconuts.

Posts: 28 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
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No worries! Happy to help.

And you know, if you just want to check in about how you're feeling, or maybe if you feel like trying to manage your anxiety is working well and you want to celebrate that, we're around. [Smile]

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ďIn a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I donít know what I am. I donít know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.Ē

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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