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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » can't make them understand

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Author Topic: can't make them understand
Member # 67252

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not sure where this belongs, so if this is wrong just let me know.

i been dx'ed schizo about 8 months ago, and because of that people in my family and bf treat me like im a child. they try to plan out everything, even going to bed at 8pm ( what teen goes to bed at 8pm?) and i keep telling them i dont like being treated this way but then i get nagged at for not taking care of myself and if i don't do what they say im going to have an episode. All i want is to live like im at least half way normal. i know im crazy, i know i believe things that arn't logical at times but do i need a constant reminded that im crazy? anyway. how do i get people to treat me like im as normal as they are with out causing a fight every time i try to talk to them about it?? any ideas? please before they them selfs drive me crazy.

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Posts: 2 | From: ar | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Have your parents had the opportunity to talk to your therapist directly to talk about any questions they may have about your diagnosis, and what it means for you? If not, that would likely be the place to start. Additionally, it might help if your therapist mediated a conversation between you and your parents, so you could explain how your parents' behavior makes you feel, and try to find solutions together.

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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
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Hello Krabby do you like to read? There's a book called 'A Mind of it's Own' by Cordelia Fine, which shows that there is actually an extremely fine line between so-called logical thinking and so-called illogical thinking. A very large proportion of the world believe that Elvis is still alive, for example, or that they've had out-of-body experiences.

Schizophrenia affects 24 million people as of 2011, you aren't 'crazy', and people who words in mental care don't use works like 'crazy' or 'mad' because they don't mean anything specific, and can apply to anyone, even governments [Wink] Diversity makes the world go round, and diversity is what stopped us from going the way of the dinosaur.

Hopefully your therapist can imply to your family that you are a responsible young adult who can cope with this fine, without their over-protection.

[ 06-06-2011, 12:28 PM: Message edited by: RaeRay2112 ]

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Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
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Krabby, perhaps remind your family and boyfriend that before this diagnosis that they didn't treat you like this and you would appreciate being treated like they would treat anybody else. I also agree with September that you should have your parents and yourself discuss this with your therapist. Remind your parents that you are the same person you were before this diagnosis and that you deserve to be treated as such. Best of luck talking with your family, it can be really hard when people start treating us radically differently than they have in the past.


I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 864 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 39222

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I'm not sure if this will help or not, but I want to echo trying to have your therapist help mediate between you and your parents. I don't have schizophrenia, but I have bipolar disorder and I can tell you that after I was diagnosed my parents watched me a lot more closely and treated me a bit differently. This may be a case of your parents having your best interests at heart but being a bit confused how exactly to do so because they're scared and don't know much about the disease yer or how it affects you in particular.

I know in bipolar disorder (and I think at least to a certain extent in schizophrenia as well) things like keeping to a regular schedule in things like eating and sleeping can make a difference in helping to try to keep you well. Acknowledging that and maybe working for a compromise might help. Also, doing the other things you need to stay healthy such as taking your medications will help you work towards being as healthy as possible and show your parents that you are capable and responsible enough for a little more leeway.

One final note, having just been diagnosed it's quite possible that you yourself don't know enough about your disease or how it affects you. Find books to read! I'd recommend some, but all my reading has been focused on bipolar disorder. Also, you may not be at a point where you can recognize your own triggers or quite know what to do to help yourself or when to ask for help. Right after I was diagnosed I was in that place and it's taken me a long time to come to the point where I know myself well enough to know these things and from others I've talked to this isn't unusual. So don't be surprised (or get down on yourself) if you need some time to learn more about schizophrenia and yourself.

Posts: 46 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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If you do want some books, you might take a look for:
Me, Myself, and Them: A Firsthand Account of One Young Person's Experience with Schizophrenia by Kurt Snyder, Raquel E. Gur M.D. and Linda Wasmer Andrews
Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients, and Providers by E. Fuller Torrey
Getting Your Life Back Together When You Have Schizophrenia by Roberta Temes

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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A lot of labels with regards to mental illness are very broad anyway. Brains are extremely complex, and it's a wonder *more* doesn't go wrong with them! =) Provided you're relatively stable and have medicine that suits you, there are actually advantages to having certain types of brains. I think a lot of people who do stuff that requires really long hours or exacting requirements in specifications and safety, can have OCD tendencies in their brains, and a lot of the best artists have had bipolar tendencies. I think Einstein in particular had bipolar *and* OCD streaks (two different "tendencies" which are often referred to as mental illness, but in forms that don't get in the way of daily life excessively, can be big assets in creativity, exacting specifications and long working hours).

It's just a name, a label, that's all. And there's still a lot to be discovered about the brain. =) But I think a properly, correctly prescribed and followed medicine regime does have a crucial role in stabilising certain conditions. But you're still a person, and unique among all the individuals in the world, and hopefully your family will eventually be able to see that. [Smile]

Mental illness requires a period of grieving and adjustment for both the affected person and their relations. After all, it is a loss, of potential, of control, and can make you and others tend to feel a bit sad sometimes. This is normal, and hopefully you make it through to the other side a more capable, compassionate, resilient and empathetic person. =) There is light at the end of the tunnel, but I think we all agree it sure isn't fun living in a tunnel! [Smile]

[ 06-08-2011, 07:45 AM: Message edited by: WesLuck ]

Posts: 540 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Hi Krabby,

My mother is a therapist working with so-called schizophrenics and drug addicts. She does not believe most of what western medicine says about schizophrenia, but regards it from a spiritual point of view - schizophrenics simply have one foot in our world, and one foot in another, and can't function "properly" in either world because they aren't grounded. My mother's approach focuses a lot on meditation, energy work, aligning your chakras, hypnotism for relaxation and therapy, and mostly - self love.

It's good to hear that despite how your family treats you, you recognize that you deserve better and that you are a person too. You are not a child. You may be different from "most" people, but perhaps try thinking about our language differently - notice how many words we have that carry negative connotations. So many of them are unnecessary and, when you think about it, just plain malicious. Like "normal" and "weird" and "wrong" and "bad" and "crazy" and "stupid" and "illogical" and "silly," the list goes on. I've not been diagnosed as schizophrenic but I get a lot of b.s. from kids at my college sometimes for my spiritual beliefs, but when people treat you poorly because of who you are, simply treat them with compassion and see that they behave out of fear. And how sad for them to be living in a place where they are afraid of another human being, so much so as to treat them in anger and label them "crazy" - that's rooted in fear. What a sad way to live. Thinking like this allows you to have compassion for them, allowing you to transcend a place of fear while maintaining love for yourself. You are beautiful. Hope this helps.

Posts: 40 | From: Maryland | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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*Have compassion for your parents - this is scary for them. Maybe sit down with them and talk to them about it very calmly and maturely; "I know this must be scary for you. You have not been diagnosed with schizophrenia so I know you must not fully understand it, and it has become something to fear in our society. But I am your child, and I know you trust me, as I trust you. I want you to trust me to know, for the most part, what I am capable of and what I can handle, and I can handle going to bed past 8. But I understand where you are coming from, and perhaps we can make this easier for both of us by agreeing to be completely open and honest with each other every step of the way. I can commit to always letting you know how I am feeling, and what's going on with me, and perhaps we can reach some reasonable compromises - like maybe I will go to bed at 11 on weeknights etc etc etc..." you get the point, I'm sure you know how to have a conversation with your parents. Again, you are beautiful. Love yourself.
Posts: 40 | From: Maryland | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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*(Sorry, I keep forgetting to say stuff!)

Don't let your diagnosis define you. Don't let western medicine dominate you. Research 'naturopathy' if you're interested - seeing a naturopathic doctor may be a better approach for you. Holistic.

Posts: 40 | From: Maryland | Registered: Aug 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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