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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Afraid of Being Alone

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Author Topic: Afraid of Being Alone
Member # 47384

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So I'm one week in of being single after a pretty serious 4 month relationship that kind of crashed and burned (she cheated on me and then dumped me). I liked this other girl, but when I told her today that I liked her, she said that because I am going off to college soon it just wouldn't work- which is very true.

I'm afraid of being alone. I don't know how to be happy without having someone to make me happy. I get so sad and lonely and miserable. I have good friends, but I always end up getting romantic feelings for them, either that or I want to be better friends with them than they want to be with me. And even if it works out with my friends, it's not the same of having a boyfriend or girlfriend.

When I'm in a relationship, I feel loved. I feel important. I feel happy.

Now that I'm alone, what is there to do?

Posts: 19 | From: Washington, DC. | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48638

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I was feeling this way at the beginning of the year. [Frown] I started seeing a counselor, and that helped a lot.


Posts: 69 | From: America | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 47384

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I see two counselors, but there's so much more pressing stuff going on in my life like my OCD habits (they've been going on since 2nd grade, and they're causing social issues), my social anxiety (it's making me lose friends), and other things. I also feel like there's nothing they can say that can help?

Maybe that's a defeatist attitude, I don't really know. But I can't help from feeling that way.

Posts: 19 | From: Washington, DC. | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 36725

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You know it's pretty common to feel this way coming our of a relationship. Remember that you need to give yourself some time to get used to not being with someone, and that can lead to a ton of different feelings. It also sounds like given you're saying counseling isn't really helping right now, you may also want to be looking for a different counselor. Because with the right one, you can really be working through the OCD and the social anxiety.

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 39222

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I'm not sure how helpful this, but I also suffer from OCD and anxiety issues and I found while I was struggling with those the most I was also struggling with feelings of not wanting to be alone. Everyone's different, but for myself I ended up in a position where I had to /decided to take dating out of the equation entirely for a long time while I worked on things myself so that I could find ways to be happy/love myself without needing outside validation. (And considering the relationships I was in at that time of life...they weren't exactly as validating as I thought they were either).

Take advantage of counseling with a great counselor (which it sounds like you are). Tackle your biggest problems withe their help and often a lot of the issues may overlap in some way.

Posts: 46 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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