Donate Now
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » I'm scared

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: I'm scared
katey1205
Neophyte
Member # 47495

Icon 1 posted      Profile for katey1205     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't know if scared was the right word to use but that's what it feels like. Im scared to do anything, not to the point where I wouldn't do it, but enough that I get freaked out. Even walking to the bus stop scares me.

I started to plan a party for the holidays but all I could think of was things like "what if nobody comes?" "what if it totally ducks and I look like a try hard?" "what if I make too adult or not adult enough?". I've tryed to ask my friends and they all say that people will go and it'll be fine, but I still worry.

I also pretty much don't like anything about myself, I mean I kinda like my eyes but my eyelashes are so long I can't wear glasses and sometimes I feel as though I look like an anime character because my eyes are so big. I'm also not exactly skinny. I mean I know I'm not fat but I am defiantly not skinny. I've been running and exercising to shed those few extra kgs but I havnt noticed any difference.

I know this is a lot of topics in one post, but I also really want a boyfriend. I'm too scared to actually LIKE a guy though. My friends and I joke around about them but I feel like I know he wouldn't ever like me, so I don't want to like him because nothing goods ever gong to come from it. I've never done anything with any guys though I have lots of guy friend who I am comfortable around.

I feel like if I gather up the courage to like him, he won't like me back, and if by some miracle he does like me, then he won't ask me out, and if somehow he actually asks me out I'll be too scared or nervous to say yes or go, and if somehow I push through and go out with this guy, he'll try to kiss me or something and I'll freak out or do something wrong and he won't like ne anymore and everyone will find out and make fun of me. It sounds kinda crazy but that's what goes on n my head.

Sorry about the long post but any help or advice would be loved.

Posts: 18 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What I hear you voicing is low self-esteem here, and anxiety that seems to be coming from that place.

Does that sound right to you?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
katey1205
Neophyte
Member # 47495

Icon 1 posted      Profile for katey1205     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah I guess. I havnt really had he best friends in school, I love my friends from out of school but the ones who I spend class with make me feel stupid all the time. They make me feel like everything I do is wrong, like if I would ask what time lunch finished they'd say "youv been going here for nearly three years, how do you not know??"

I feel bad for even posting on here because I just don't like myself, and there are people who have much bigger problems wh

Posts: 18 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
katey1205
Neophyte
Member # 47495

Icon 1 posted      Profile for katey1205     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah I guess. I havnt really had he best friends in school, I love my friends from out of school but the ones who I spend class with make me feel stupid all the time. They make me feel like everything I do is wrong, like if I would ask what time lunch finished they'd say "youv been going here for nearly three years, how do you not know??"

I feel bad for even posting on here because I just don't like myself, and there are people who have much bigger problems who are in much greater need of your help than I am.

I just want to sink into the background, while still being noticed. Like someone might give me a small compliment and I would deny it and look away and be ebarressed and basically shut down a bit, but I still like the fact that they noticed. Even if someone says "oh you're in my maths class" I don't want then to notice that but still like that they did. I dont know, maybe I'm just weird.

I'm not allllll sad though. The best thing to happen today was in dodgeball, a cute guy threw the ball at me, instead of anyone else, and he also didn't throw it as hard as he was to the others. I don't know why, but this mademe feel special. It's like I want to totally sink in to the background while still having a life.

You don't have to reply to this, it's sorta just whining haha.

Posts: 18 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
katey1205
Neophyte
Member # 47495

Icon 1 posted      Profile for katey1205     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was really stressing this morning though, because I leave for the bus at 7:25 and it was 7:27. I know its not a big difference but I was really scared and went through all the consequences in my mind all the way to the bus. We are doing this thinking thing at school and I think I have a catasrophising personality as my teacher put it. Where I take a very little thing and make it into a huge catastrophe and I pretty much hate myself for it haha
Posts: 18 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Katey, have you ever gotten help in dealing with your low self-esteem?

It sounds like your fears and insecurities are really affecting your daily life. There's no reason why you should have to deal with that alone.

Would you like our help in looking for resources near you?

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3