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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » A question about porn.

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Author Topic: A question about porn.
bears123
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Member # 59108

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I can't get excited over porn, anymore. My erections used to be hard as a rock, now that passion is gone. Is it normal to feel this way after masturbating past a certain time frame? Sometimes the quality of the video and the loudness of the girl's moaning are helpful factors, but at this point I think there is something wrong with me psychologically. The blood is supposed to flow there normally, and I DO get an erection, just not a throbbing passionate one. Maybe it's boredom of porn that is the cause?

Note: I have never had sex, because I'm waiting for the right person to come along. Maybe a lack of sex life is the cause of this? A lack of real intimacy? Maybe I've damned myself to abstinence by setting unrealistic goals and expectations...

I don't masturbate excessively, either. It's more of an occasional thing.

Posts: 4 | From: Richmond, TX | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Might it be something like this?

Ever read a lot of travel books about a place you've never been? At first, they can be really exciting and fascinating. But at a certain point, you can feel like reading about travel instead of actually traveling and seeing a place yourself is a pretty ho-hum endeavor.

can I also ask why you feel there is a "right" way to respond to porn? I hear you suggesting something is wrong with you because you're not feeling aroused by it anymore.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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bears123
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You hit the nail on the head, basically.

Well, traditionally the stimuli I received from viewing porn gave me tremendous amounts of pleasure, especially at orgasm. These days, not so much. I guess the only way to revisit that feeling is to have sex, like you implied. Thanks for the prompt response!

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Heather
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You know, what it also can be is about just changing things up.

One of the things we know about human sexuality is that in a lot of ways, novelty is king. In other words, whether we're talking about masturbation or partnered sex, most people tend to need to keep things pretty fresh to keep feeling really excited about it. When sex of any kind starts to feel routine, people's interest and excitement tends to wane.

Of course, porn is also very two-dimensional. Not only in the sense of being media, but most pornography also really tends to be pretty boring and flat and not exactly the stuff of major mind-expansion. The fact that porn has explicit sex isn't the only reason no one in porn is getting Oscars, after all. [Smile]

So, getting bored with something that, aside of being about sex, often tends to be pretty darn borning..well, not too surprising, when you think about it.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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bears123
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I'm afraid things have taken a turn for the worse since we last spoke. I am 22 and now I am positive that I am impotent. This makes sense, because I have extreme depression and suffer from bi polar disorder. I believe that the drug I am taking (Abilify) is partially to blame for this decline in sexual arousal. Ever since I started taking it in December, I have noticed a decline in my desire for women. I even went to a strip club and danced with a beautiful woman, but I could still not get it up.

If I am not mistaken, Abilify and similar meds cause but bars over sensory parts of the brain, not allowing emotions to happen naturally. This is done to even out my moods, but I don't like its effects.

Are there psychological methods to restoring this? How common is it for people my age to get in this funk? How many of them get out of it? This problem could be persisting because of a lack of confidence on my part. I am considering buying horny goat weed pills, a natural remedy for this sort of thing.

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Heather
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Before you go anywhere else with this, I'd talk to your prescribing psychiatrist.

For sure, many psych meds can cause sexual side effects, so this may well be having an effect (however, in looking at their clinical trials briefly, it appears this is one med where those side effects are much less likely than with others: their placebo group in their trial reported those side effects just as often as the group taking the medication did).

You'll want to talk to your doc about that, and also talk about taking anything else while taking it. Mind, folk remedies like you're describing are unlikely to change how you feel sexually and just be a place to lose money, but what they can do is interact with your medication, which obviously would be potentially problematic.

I can't really give you an answer about your sexual desires and age, because there's no one age where a person has a certain level of sexual desire, since that's influenced by MUCH more than age.

[ 04-14-2011, 09:50 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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bears123
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Thank you. I will talk to my therapist this Monday.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I'd also ask them to talk to you about the effects depression can have on sexuality. because that alone may be the issue here, and depression itself is way more likely to decrease desire than the medications for depression tend to be.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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