Well hey there. Firstly I want to say that this is an incredible site. Now...
I'm a young woman. I feel this should be specified because as we all know, hormones and just about everything else lady-related play a huge role in...well, everything in our lives. There are a few things that I simply cannot find the courage to discuss with people I know.
1. I have an immense envy of males. I want to be a man. Though I am still attracted to men. I am obsessed with the idea of being a homosexual man.
2. I... am... a... virgin. Kind of. I've had plenty of experiences but the only thing missing is actual penetration. I want it... badly. But the idea terrifes me as well. I feel like I have a huge sex drive and if I allow myself to act on those urges it will be an irreversible loss to my self-control. I dream about sex, I think about it a lot, I auto-stimulate (hahaha) and to be quite honest, I'm ashamed of having these feelings. I think my deepest insecurities are sex-related...and I haven't even had real FULL ON intercourse.
3. I'm in an overall state of confusion in my life. I don't do anything I love, I work all the time and I hate it. I'm never really attracted to anyone in a way that makes me want to be in a relationship. I know these are very minor issues but they are weighing on me. I'm not asking you to save my life... just some insight. I hope even a fragment of this makes sense. If you're looking for more detail, just ask.
Reading some of the other threads in the Gender Issues sub-forum could also be helpful to you. Figuring out your gender/gender identity is something a lot of people go through, so you are definitely not alone.
You write "I feel like I have a huge sex drive and if I allow myself to act on those urges it will be an irreversible loss to my self-control." I wouldn't be concerned about having a high sex drive unless it is interfering with your life (for example, you neglect your job, get physically ill, etc). It's normal to want sex, normal to masturbate, and these things are nothing to be ashamed of. Although this may not exactly be what you are concerned about, some people are concerned about "sex addiction", which is not a concept that is accepted by most sexologists. This thread may be helpful to you: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/are_we_addicted_to_sex
I'm sorry that you're,as you write, in a state of confusion in your life. I would encourage you to seek out activities and/or people that you enjoy. Maybe activities you enjoyed doing when you were younger and later abandoned. Good luck!
Posts: 143 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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