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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Should I wax for my bf?

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Author Topic: Should I wax for my bf?
mangomango
Neophyte
Member # 49177

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Hello! So, I normally trim my pubic hair -- I shave the bikini line and keep the rest of it pretty short. My boyfriend has complained about his penis hurting after sex -- too much friction, I think, so he gets rubbed raw. He said he thinks it's b/c of the hair, and asked me to wax. I have problems with this a) b/c it's expensive, b) b/c he's telling me what to do with my body, which is a problem, and c) why would his dick hurt? I don't have hair inside me. However, if it would make sex easier and allow us to do it more without him getting hurt (which I feel bad about), that would be awesome. What should I do?
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Devanie
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It really probably isn't the hair that is making him feel raw... It's probably either being very vigorous during sex or not using enough lube. Do you guys use lube?

It's your body, you pick what to do with it. You don't have to wax it if you don't want it.

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OWL Dan
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Hi,

I agree with Devanie, it should not be your hair and using lube should help. I would not do anything just because he wants you to, unless you would do anyways, it is your body.

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Dan

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borghese
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You should only wax if YOU want to. If you're hesitating or think you'd feel uncomfortable bare...don't do it. There is no reason you should do as your boyfriend asks. My suggestion would be like Devaine and OWLDan say: use lube.
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samanthamt
Activist
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Like everyone else has said. Lube is awesome. Use it!

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Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.
-Abraham Lincoln

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mangomango
Neophyte
Member # 49177

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Thanks, guys! We don't use lube, but maybe we should! And I'll decide about the hair thing -- I'm really indifferent to doing it, but really, then he should pay for it! So expensive.
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Autisticmajor
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Unless you're blonde (that's supposed to be a problem), leave that hair there. Trimming is okay, but that hair is there for a reason. You would probably get more infections and have a stronger vaginal smell if the hair were removed.

Just a suggestion.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Autisticmajor: not sure what you're suggesting regarding hair color, but I don't know of any data that suggests there is anything more or less problematic per public hair based on the color of someone's hair. What kind of problem are you suggesting that is?

The one exception to that is pubic lice: caucasian people and others who are not of some african origin are more inclined to lice as a whole than those who are of african origin. However, removing pubic hair to try and counter that is not likely very effective.

Just a reminder: per our policies, we ask that people not tell others what to do with their bodies. If and when they ask to be told, our conversations as a community should center on helping them figure out what they want to do, and think they would feel best about, rather than telling them what to do, okay? Thanks!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Devanie
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Anyway, yes, Mangomango... Lube is awesome stuff, it makes things a million times better for me AND my boyfriend. And I'm only slightly exaggerating.

Also, if you're not using lube with condoms... that's not so good. condoms require lube, because our natural lubrication isn't equipped to deal with its materials.

(And if you're not using condoms, you'll need to make sure you both are up to date on your STD tests and have been monogamous for 6 months AT LEAST! This is important if you're using condoms, but it's super duper important if you're not.)

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Autisticmajor
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Blonds are thought to have thinner and more wiry pubic hair, causing more chafing to the penis upon entry.

Petru Popescu's book Almost Adam has one example (p444).

I had read that the purpose of pubic hair was to catch bacteria and the like before it could reach the mucous membranes.

And I was just suggesting, not pushing.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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That's a fictional novel.

Do you have any actual cites -- per research, not a fiction writer -- about this, including studies that present it as a "problem" that has earnestly caused anyone pain or discomfort expressly because of the color of someone's hair?

It's really important to us that information here is solid, so let's all please be sure not to cite fiction as fact or figure that fiction gives us sound information to pass on the other folks, okay?

(Just another reminder: Scarleteen, especially the interactive areas, are intended mostly to serve people under 25. So, we ask people older than that who aren't here to try and serve YP on their terms to tread lightly, both in terms of the space/time they take up, but also with what they share and how. A comment like this, especially when taken from a fictional work, is a good example of not really working within those boundaries, okay? Thanks!)

[ 11-16-2010, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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SidonieAdena
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I am very skeptical of the idea that your hair is causing chafing, and the fact that you haven't even tried lube yet but your boyfriend is jumping to waxing makes me think that he might just be using it as an excuse. That worries me a little.

If you decide to wax, I would not let this reasoning decide you. It's very unlikely that your hair is the problem.

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mangomango
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Yeah, I realize it's a load of BS. But, I shaved today. I feel like a bad feminist.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Huh?

Feminism is about having rights, which include the right to make our own choices about our own bodies.

I really think something like shaving has very little to do with feminism, unless you don't feel able to make our own choices about your own body or are letting someone else make your choices for you. And even in that case, you figure you're in process, that's all.

...which, about one thing or another, we all are, pretty much all the time. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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