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Author Topic: Please help - Orgasming
alicemarie
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Member # 49114

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Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum but I've creeped upon it a few times, haha [Smile] .
Anyway I have a really serious question about orgasming - basically, I can't do it.
I can't have an orgasm through the clit or penetration.
Is this normal? I thought I read somewhere that it is normal, but I tried to research it moreso today and all I get are results that show women who can't orgasm through penetration. But my problem is I can't orgasm at all.
I have a boyfriend and he pleases me very well - he's great in bed, etc. Afterwards I always feel very shaky in a good way but that's it. He's tried to make me orgasm through stimulating the G spot but I can't do it either.
I've heard a lot that the woman should make herself orgasm first before anyone else can.
But I really don't like to masturbate, mainly because I can't orgasm.
Please help :/
Any response will be appreciated.
Thank youuu [Smile] !

Posts: 1 | From: indiana | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Natalie H
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Member # 48229

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Well, first of all, I'd like to tell you that there are some people in this world that can not achieve orgasm and will never get to experience it. If you're one of those people or not, I don't know. I'm not sure how to go about getting that figured out. It's not the worse thing, because sex is enjoyable even if you can't get to that point, which it sounds like it is for you.

But also, keep in mind, orgasms are only achieved through not just physical, but mental and emotion states. It's difficult to orgasm when that's your goal and the pressure's on to do it. Generally speaking, more often than not, orgasms happen when we don't plan them or feel they NEED to happen. If you go into masturbation with orgasm being the main goal, it'll be harder to do it, maybe even impossible.

I'm not sure about a woman making herself orgasm before another person can, but in a way it makes sense. Exploring your body through masturbation (not masturbation with a goal in mind, just fiddling around, seeing what you respond to) is a good way to find the things that you do and don't enjoy. You can find triggers that make you feel great, and through the right combination of those triggers and your mental state, I believe you can orgasm.

Just don't put pressure on yourself, sex isn't about a goal, it's about fun.

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Bicycle? I prefer a homocycle.

Posts: 118 | From: Houston | Registered: Aug 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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This article may also answer some of your questions:
Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

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-joey
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 8995 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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