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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » help i need a confidence boost

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Author Topic: help i need a confidence boost
Kayy
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Im 16 almost 17 years old. i am 5'9 and weigh 150 lbs. i have always been thin my whole life but the past couple years i have been gaining weight. i feel really fat in my stomach area. i dont even like looking at it. idk what to do. i yhave never been confident and idk why. i really want to loose 15 or 20 lbs but idk how. and i really want to become a more confident. i have an amazing bf and he is always complimenting me but idk why it doesnt help. he has an amazing body a 6 pack and im always doubting that im not good enough for him. my family doesnt have alot of money so id feel bad if i asked my mom to buy healthier food. please help

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"Do or Do not, There is no Try"
-Yoda

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eryn_smiles
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Hi Kay,

When you calculate your 'body mass index' using your height and weight, you're actually right in the middle of the healthy/normal weight range for your height and wouldn't be considered overweight. I know it can be hard to find confidence and feel beautiful sometimes though, whatever your body size.

Your boyfriend sounds supportive and lovely but often what other people say about us doesn't help as much as what we say about ourselves. How do you feel about yourself in general? What do you like about yourself and enjoy doing? Are you involved in any after school activities or volunteering?

Playing team sports is a good way to gain confidence as well as improving tone and fitness. You might consider exercising together with your boyfriend. As for healthy food, foods like fruits, veges and grains are often cheaper than processed goods and fast takeaways. You just need to look around your local grocery.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Animica
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I'll just add a bit to what Eryn said about exercising with your boyfriend, which is a great idea. If you know of and can go to a nearby park, why not walk a few miles with your boyfriend? I do that with my boyfriend, and, apart from getting fresh air and exercising ourselves, it's a great time for conversation. You might go a couple of days a week, and you could try several activities. Maybe you could start by walking or jogging, and then get into running. I bet your boyfriend would love to help you.
Posts: 132 | From: La La Land | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kayy
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I used to play voleyball but i quit this year because the coach was super mean and because i felt like i was holding the team back cause im in such bad shape. but other than that i dont do anything. i have ran before with my bf but only once and i want to but its just hard cause neither of us have our license so when we do see eachother we r usually doing other things. he just graduated and he ran cross country and stuff like that so he loves running and im realllly not a fan but i think thats because im in such bad shape. i really would like to run with him we just dont get the chance to. he is working on getting his license so maybe we will be able to do that soon. thanks both of u

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"Do or Do not, There is no Try"
-Yoda

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mmsb23
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Besides what all the other posters said about excercising and all, confidence comes from other places too. Besides liking how you look, it comes from liking your personality and liking who you are as a women; no matter how much you run, that will never fix the fact that you possibly dont like the person you are inside. Although, with that, I bet you are a beautiful person and maybe just need to know that, and maybe loosing the weight will help..who knows! As long as your boyfriend loves and supports you always, you will be confident in no time!
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Kayy
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Thanks mmsb. that helps. i am actualy very confident person when im around my bf because he is always complimenting me but when im not around him my confidence level really goes down. idk why. and i wish it wouldnt

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"Do or Do not, There is no Try"
-Yoda

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Kayy
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Thanks mmsb23 that really helps. i am actually very confident when im with just my bf. like when we r alone. but when we r out on a date or if im not with him my confidence level like shoots down. idk why...

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"Do or Do not, There is no Try"
-Yoda

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Karybu
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Having other people compliment us is great, and it can definitely give our self-esteem a boost, but self-esteem is more than that. Have you thought about getting back into a physical activity that's just fun, rather than doing something like running to try to lose weight? Feeling good about your body isn't just about liking the way it looks, it's also about appreciating what it can do and what you can do in it, so you might find that starting an activity that just lets you move because it's fun and feels good is a big help.

Also, have you seen this? Seven Ways to Love Your Body

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Kayy
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Thanks karybu. i read that whole post and it was really inspiring and it really helped. and i will try to find something active to do that i like.

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"Do or Do not, There is no Try"
-Yoda

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Lilerse
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Sometimes I simply like to see my body as...functional. Like my legs. I'm not a huge fan of my legs. I actually like the way my body looks in general, but my legs are really short (sucks finding jeans), calves are kinda fat, etc. - but they function!! I can walk, run, bike, dance. They rarely cause me pain. They enable me to do lots of wonderful things - they function. So that's often how I see it when I'm looking at a body part I don't exactly find beautiful.

Start with your height, for example. There are a lot of things you can do at 5'9 that I certainly can't do it at only 5'!

[ 08-18-2010, 02:07 PM: Message edited by: Lilerse ]

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Kayy
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Thats true. i really like my height. thanks lilerse. i never reeally thought about it like that

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"Do or Do not, There is no Try"
-Yoda

Posts: 53 | From: USA | Registered: Jun 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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