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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » How do I stop?

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Author Topic: How do I stop?
truthseeker95
Neophyte
Member # 46034

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Lately, I have made attempts to control my sexual urges because,in my case,they are unhealhty and unwanted. However, I find it really hard to control myself from a long time enemy: porn. Simple things like reading in article on this website can set me off. I try to stop but I can't. What should I do.
Posts: 27 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Activist
Member # 39174

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Hi truthseeker,

What are the unhealthy urges you're referring to? The last post of yours i read was about you struggling with enjoying gay porn while finding women attractive. I'm wondering if this is what you're trying to control and avoid now or something else entirely?

If it's the former, while you may not want to enjoy the porn you're currently enjoying, this is not an unhealthy desire and it doesn't make you sick, gross or abnormal. Porn is not a particularly good indicator of orientation and activity preferences outside of viewing it.

If you're finding you can't stop wanting to view gay porn.. how about you stop trying to avoid it? Right now you're spending energy on the subject and making it a big focus point. If you just view what you wanna view when you wanna view it, you'll probably find after awhile your interests will change and you'll find something you're more interested in. I'm not saying that WILL happen, but our sexual desires are pretty fluid and constantly evolving.

If this isn't what you were referring to in this post, maybe you can elaborate? i'd like to give you useful advice. I think what's important to remember is that porn really does not define who is our sexual self, it's just porn. Really truly.

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truthseeker95
Neophyte
Member # 46034

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I am acting on advice from Heather that says porn, of any type, is not the best thing for me. So, I am trying to stop,yet, I find it extremely difficult to control urges. My question is how do I stop?
Posts: 27 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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truthseeker: can you show me where I said that to you?

The only post you have here I can see where we discuss porn is where I explain that porn isn't a sound way to try and figure out your sexual orientation.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
truthseeker95
Neophyte
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That is what I am referring to. Is that not what you meant?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I made no statements whatsoever about whether or not I felt that porn was "best" for you or not, because you didn't ask me anything about that.

Rather, my only reference to it was regarding your questions about what your sexual orientation might be, and my reply on that was simply to make clear that looking at porn often doesn't give anyone sound information about sexual orientation.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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melisma
Neophyte
Member # 42582

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I think what people are saying is that it probably won't give you the answers you seek, not that it's bad. Eating ice cream won't tell you what your sexual orientation is either...
Posts: 12 | From: MA | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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quote:
Eating ice cream won't tell you what your sexual orientation is either...
Would that it could! [Smile]

To be clear, if you do feel troubled by pornography and would prefer to stop using it, or using it in certain ways, we're certainly glad to talk with you about that. But that's a radically different conversation than the one we were having you you before, that's all.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
truthseeker95
Neophyte
Member # 46034

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that is exactly what i want Heather. I want to stop.
Posts: 27 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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