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Author Topic: Question for the ladies
Zelios
Neophyte
Member # 42510

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Hey everyone.

I'm pretty sure that this question falls within the scope of this topic, so I thought I would ask it here.

Anyway, what do girls look for in a guy? What is most important to them? Face, personality, body, money, popularity, if they good at sports etc. And on the other side of the spectrum what are the usual things that some guys possess that girls really dislike? Replies from girls from all walks of life would be very much appreciated :-).

Thanks all!

[ 10-22-2009, 11:10 AM: Message edited by: Zelios ]

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Zelios
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[ 10-22-2009, 11:19 AM: Message edited by: Zelios ]

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atm1
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Hi Zelios,

You might find another volunteer's answer to another question here useful.

Joey and Heather explained in that thread that no one can tell you what "girls" want or enjoy. Each girl and woman is an individual, who will have different individual tastes. Plenty don't look for anything in men at all and are attracted to other women. It's best to just ask individuals what *they* like as their personal opinion. None of us can speak for our whole gender, after all.

[ 10-22-2009, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: atm1 ]

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music2myears612
Activist
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we'll I think everyone is different and unique and everyone likes different things. No ones the same.
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orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
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atm1 has said it all, but I also wanted to ask you, Zelios, is there a certain reason you are asking this question? Is this about someone you like? If so, I think it might be more beneficial for you if we talked about that specifically, rather than for you to ask a random sampling of females about their preferences.

[ 10-22-2009, 04:19 PM: Message edited by: orca ]

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I also think if you do want to talk more about this, there are some things to consider:

1) That the idea that any one sex or gender wants specific things from another sex or gender that are somehow radically different than what someone of a DIFFERENT gender would want is usually flawed. In other words, what can be much more productive is to ask anyone, of any gender or orientation, what they want in an intimate partner.

2) That you bear in mind that a lot of the time, it's not like folks have a shopping list they're looking for items on. Rather, it's that we meet people, and with certain people we do or don't feel a certain chemistry or pull, and then, as time goes on, we evaluate that person and our relationship with them based on our wants and needs at the time. But those wants and needs tend to be a lot more nuanced than if someone is good at sports, looks a certain way, or is or is not of a given economic status, and those wants and needs also can be a bit ever-changing.

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sma64
Neophyte
Member # 44468

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I need help from someone who has experienced this before. So basically about a year ago me and my partner were having sex and he was a little rough and his penis went in at a bad angle. The result from this was that I got a tear by my urethra that hangs down. It's not big, and It doesn't hurt or sting. But it hasn't healed by itself either. Anyone know what to do?
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eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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sma64,

If you have a tear that hasn't healed in one year, its a good idea to have your doctor look at it. You may be talking about a small part of your hymen tearing and hanging down, in which case you don't have to do anything about it- but its hard for anyone to tell without seeing it.

(Next time you'll want to start a new thread for your own question using the "new topic" link at the top and bottom of the page.)

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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marigold
Activist
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hi, zelios
if you're still interested, maybe because you're afraid some things are too important for EVERY girl that you doesn't have... if you can't believe how diverse preferences are, I can show you mine.

I'd be attrated to someone, who has a world-view similar to mine (the basic stuff, like he must believe that there IS a little problem with the human race/earth's resources interaction, and he musnt't belive in all this "subtle energies"-stuff - it's just too far away from all the things I believe in, he can be an atheist or religious, but energies that works like physical ones but aren't visible for physicians... turns me off),

he must have some general good intention (towards one group or another, just an intention to do good things - some goal in life other that "becoming rich and powerful and famous" - bleah). He shouldn't give all his life for that cause, but he should give some of his energies for other things than those selfish ones. A bit of good intention and selflessness is what I'm talking about here. Like seemingly strong and angry punk kids who doesn't eat animals because they feel sorry for them.

He should have a more or less concrete plan to do that stuff - I'm 23, we're speaking here about people who had already finished university, and if someone's completely lost and, like, living only for the next day and the next dose of drugs at this age, then there's a possibility he won't "find himself" later neighter. So he should have a general idea about what he would want to do with his life, and a more or less realistic plan, too.

If these things are ok, then we dont't have much more left - he mustn't be arrogant, should threat me as an equal, and he should have some complexity/fantasy/intelligence/openness to things. But not an irrealistic quantity of this, just enough to not make him very-very limited in his thinking.

I'd like, if he would be able to stop some times and enjoy the moment - even if he has his moments of anxiety or stress, there should be an ability to stop from time to time, because if he's completely incapable to do this, then we would have some major problems.

He doesn't have to listen to the same music etc. It would be good if he would be able to understand a bit the world around us, and the world of styles and subcultures are part of this - he should be able to understand these somehow from a sociological point of view, not just a canon that says What's Cool and What's Not. But with getting older, most of this understanding comes naturally, I think. Anyway, from what I've told before it's pretty clear, that we're talking about a person here who doesn't live just for becoming the coolest ever. He should be quite detached from what other people think about him, he should have his own goals - like in that Panda BEar song Carrots: he should listen to his preferred musics because he likes them, and not because that;s supposed to make him cool.

It would be nice if he had some true friends (it would show, that he is able to connect to people), but I'll understand if he won't have any, either. Life can be complicated.

I won't like him to have much more money than me, because that would cause a lot of inequalities and conflicts. Genrally, I'm keeping my economic life separated from my personal life. [Razz] And he shouldn't be much less, either, but I'm quite poor myself, so that wouldn't be a problem. [Razz]

I don't really like sports, maybe a bit of juggling, so I don't care abut his performances neither. Maybe I would prefer, if he would do some movements sometimes, walking or biking or such like, not being a couch potato, but that's all.

And if he was like this, he could come in a lot of shapes.

If I have to pick a shape, let's say that he would be about my height (average for a man, I'm a bit high for a girl - but he could even be slightly lower), I'd like if he would be a bit fatter that the current ideal.

Conclusion: I'm gonna die alone and be devoured by my cats. That, or I will have to move in a big city, choosen especially after hiring some sociologists to describe the scenes of each one, according to my requirements. Because that what I haven't mentioned yet is, that this superhuman would also had to feel attracted to me, and willing to put up with all my problems.

sorry for writing a blog at a forum. Zelios, hope this helped.

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