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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » For Future: Body Image And Sex? Please Read This!

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Author Topic: For Future: Body Image And Sex? Please Read This!
Kayterface
Neophyte
Member # 43631

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Ok, Ok, I know, Everyone says that If He loves you, and if he is worth it, he wont care what your body looks like!

But anyway,

When I have sex for the first time, i am concerned on whether my not very attractive body (i am a little overweight, Just slightly above normal weight on the charts) might make him less aroused or not turn him on. When i take my clothes off, i dont want him to not get excited and think im gross. i know he should do it just fine anyway, and Im pretty sure if he were the right guy he would, but... i mean i want him to like my body.

GUYS: Can you like a girl's body (naked) even if shes a little overweight? Do you still like to touch it and look at it? I'm saying, like especially if you love that person. I just really want some advice so when the time comes my self consciousness doesnt ruin it.

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Shut up, I love you.

Posts: 4 | From: um.... | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
curiousitykat5869
Neophyte
Member # 35297

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I'm not a guy, but I can assure you that there are guys who don't care if a girl is a little overweight, or even a lot overweight.

I'm a lot overweight. Like, 30 pounds overweight. And yet there are a bunch of guys who absolutely love what I look like, despite everything.

My best guy friend says that I'm one of the sexiest girls he knows because I'm not starving myself to be thin, or constantly obsessing over my weight.

And my boyfriend absolutely LOVES every curve of my body. When I talk about needing to lose weight, or not being happy with my body, he gets visibly upset. He has assured me with great conviction that I am completely beautiful and sexy the way I am.

Regardless of all of that, if a guy finds you attractive, chances are it won't go away just because you take off your clothes. Especially if he loves you.

If you really aren't confident about your body and you use Livejournal, you might want to check out this community: http://community.livejournal.com/curvygirls/
Its a fabulously supportive community of women of all different weights, shapes, and sizes. I've learned a lot about loving my body from this community. And I've received a lot of help in it too.

Posts: 11 | From: PA | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lacey37
Neophyte
Member # 43637

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I'm also a girl, sorry. BUT If he loves you, he'll love your body. The end. Seeing your body is a way for him to get closer to you

Ironically, my boyfriend and I are both recovering from eating disorders (we also both have formerly anorexic/bulimic mothers). At the beginning of our relationship, we were both incredibly body conscious. If I got anywhere close to his stomach he'd suck it in (which is a terrible thing to do while you're kissing because naturally, it makes breathing a little bit difficult). Also, if my shirt came off, the lights went off too. At that time I was still underweight though. It's been a year and I've gained twenty pounds (due to a bad leg injury that prevented me from exercising), but now we're both so much more comfortable with our bodies.

If you're self-conscious about your body, you might not even be close enough with this person to have sex yet.

Posts: 1 | From: Jersey | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

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Once again, another girl replying. But SERIOUSLY.

For sure there are guys who get aroused by girls with more meat on their bones [Razz] And there are those guys who honestly don't CARE what someone looks like; as long as the girl's a wonderful person, they're going to have fun and really get aroused being naked with them.

I'm 5'4 and fluctuate from about 140-150 lbs. I'm nowhere near the skinniest babe in the room. I have plenty of stretch marks and ickiness -- I call myself Zebra Legs from all the stretches. But I can assure you my boyfriend loooooves to see me naked, and he's not pretending *nudgenudge*

I like to tell people to think of it this way. If there was a boy you liked a TON, loved even, and he was above average weight, maybe a bit overweight. Do you think you'd be grossed out by seeing him naked? Do you think you'd be put off and wouldn't really want to go further? Do you think you wouldn't be aroused? Or would you be super excited to be getting so intimate with this guy you adore, and would you find his whole body amazing, with its imperfections as well? Chances are, that last one's going to be more likely. And same goes for him. [Smile]

Some people say love is blind. I like to think it just opens your eyes even more -- the beauty that's within shines through to you and makes the whole damn person the most gorgeous person you know. So the guy won't just "not care" what you look like because he loves you. He's going to LOVE your body because it's a part of YOU, and you're a beautiful person inside and out, no matter what.

Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kayterface
Neophyte
Member # 43631

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You have no idea how much better i feel right now. Really, It does help to have some encouragement every now and again. I dont get it much from my family, its nice to know i have a whole community of people going through the same stuff. Curiousitykat, thanks for the link. thanks lacey, and by the way, congratulations on your recovery, im sure alot of people are pretty proud of you for coming out of that. And thanks onionpie, Sometimes a little bit of bluntness really peps someone up! Seriously you guys rock!

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Shut up, I love you.

Posts: 4 | From: um.... | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

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I'm really glad you're feeling better about yourself! [Big Grin] Happy I could help [Smile]
Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
strawberryrock
Peer Educator-in-Training
Member # 43154

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Guys like all different body types, just like girls do! Some guys are attracted to thinner girls and some guys are attracted to curvier girls and and sometimes you meet someone outside of your "normal type" and you are incredibly attracted to them anyway. I used to say that I really liked taller guys but I have dated a few who were pretty short and wasn't any less attracted to them. If someone is excited about taking your clothes off, most likely they will be pretty stoked to see you naked.

Of course, all of this is easy to say but I can also really be insecure about my body and I know that it can be really scary to be naked with someone for the first time. Especially when I was younger I had the same fears of someone being grossed out by my chubbiness. Along with learning to love my body and be a little more confident, I also realized that an aroused person who is really into me (who is worth my time, anyway!) is not going to be looking at my body with a judging eye.

I'm glad you're feeling better!

Posts: 33 | From: Portland, Oregon | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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