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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Next Step...?

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Author Topic: Next Step...?
Breeannah
Neophyte
Member # 43565

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Okay,me and this guy have known each other since we was little.I never thought we'd end up like this.
He confessed a few days ago that he really wanted to have sex with me.I keep telling him 'No',but he has fingered me and kind of humped my body.I had clothes on,but he had his penis out rubbing it on my stomach.Everytime I tell him I'll have sex with him,when he starts to undress me,I chicken out.I keep thinking that if he sees me naked,he'll say something like "You look weird." or "You're too fat."
I'm very self conscious and can't seem to get over it.I want to have sex with him.I don't want to keep changing my mind everytime I say 'Yes'.
I shave and he says thats really sexy,but I still feel like it'll be different when he actually sees it or my breasts.
How can I get over it?

Posts: 5 | From: Alabama | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
imogenasksyou
Neophyte
Member # 43569

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Hello Breeannah.

firstly make sure that sex is the right option for you and your friend. Do you feel comfortable with it?
Just because he wants to, it doesn't meen that you should feel pressured by his pleads, this is your choice.

You say that are scared that he will judge you, If he respects you he wont make mean judgments on your appearance. The body is beautiful no matter what.

If you want to get over your anxious feelings you have to be sure about your descisions and relax. Maybe consider saving sex with him for when your both fully ready. [Smile] - hope this helps

Posts: 19 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Breeannah
Neophyte
Member # 43565

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Hello and Thanks [Smile]
I really want to take the step and would do it in a heartbeat if I didn't have to be naked.I really care for him.We've always been extremely close.

I'm still a virgin,and he isn't.Which is another reason I decided to take the step.He knows what to do.When he does stuff to me,he makes sure he isn't hurting me and that it feels good.I have thought about it for a long time and I know I want to do this with him.

Posts: 5 | From: Alabama | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
imogenasksyou
Neophyte
Member # 43569

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okay thats good you've put lots of thought into it then [Smile]

another way to stay calm and confident with your body is to not focus on what you think may be your flaws but on the things you know are really awesome about you [Smile] - he has known you for a long time and its apparent he cares so he wont be concerned on "perfect" it doesnt exist anyway, no matter how you interperate your looks just remmeber that a womans body is something to be proud of.

all the best [Smile]

Posts: 19 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
atm1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 37835

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You know, if this is a partner who has not respected the word "no" in the past, he's really not a safe partner for you to be with. When someone says "No" during sexual activity, the other person involve should *always* immediately stopped (unless they're doing something where they have another safeword worked out, but that doesn't seem to be going on here).

Given your anxiety, and the way that he has pressured you in the past, I'd recommend that you hold off on sexual activity with this partner until you're sure that a) you feel comfortable and b) he will stop if you say no.

I'd also encourage you to look at this article: Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

Posts: 2262 | From: in transition | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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