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Author Topic: How do you feel about yourself ?
cool87
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A lot of teens and young adults are dealing with low self-esteem for all sorts of reasons and it can be something difficult to deal with and something that can also interfere negatively with our life. This can make it hard to find your own qualities, to accept other people's compliments because you might have troubles believing them or might even prevent you, among other things, to do some things because you feel as though you won't succeed at them. So.......

How do you feel about yourself ? How would you grade your self-esteem on a scale of low to high ?


If you donít consider your self-esteem to be high, what are some of the things that youíve tried in order to improve it ?


What is self-esteem for you and what are the things that you think can influence it ?


If you had to describe yourself in a positive way and share some of your own qualities and/or talents/achievements with us, what would they be ? What are some of the things about yourself that you do feel proud of ?

[ 02-17-2009, 05:10 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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saguy
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How do you feel about yourself ? How would you grade your self-esteem on a scale of low to high ?

2. Not quite at rock bottom, but nowhere close to being happy.


If you donít consider your self-esteem to be high, what are some of the things that youíve tried in order to improve it ?

Self-help education on the effects of social anxiety and how to deal with it and overcome it. I've tried getting into the occasional social setting with people I know, but so far, no luck. I can get to the point of sitting down for dinner/beer with acquaintances, but as far as having anything to contribute to conversations, or god forbid talk to a female, I freeze, finish my meal/drink and get home as fast as I can.


What is self-esteem for you and what are the things that you think can influence it ?

Self-esteem starts out being all about how you see and feel about yourself and your interests. However, it is easily influenced by how you are seen by the people you want to be around. When those people don't see you and your interests the way you do, your self-esteem crashes.


If you had to describe yourself in a positive way and share some of your own qualities and/or talents/achievements with us, what would they be ? What are some of the things about yourself that you do feel proud of ?

I am almost 25, I live at home for cheap rent, I've never been on a date (thus obviously still a virgin) and women scare the crap out of me. All I have to be proud of is my job (retail manager), but it pays like ****, so not even the one thing I am proud of can build me a successful life, even if it would only be for myself.

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Thehiddenone
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How do you feel about yourself ? How would you grade your self-esteem on a scale of low to high ?

I'm quite happy about myself on a scale of 10 i'd say 8 on my self-esteem

If you donít consider your self-esteem to be high, what are some of the things that youíve tried in order to improve it ?

Well to help me improve i just had one of the best boyfriends really and a couple of amazing mates, who'd always help me and congratulate me if i acomplished things and said i was beautiful and things.

What is self-esteem for you and what are the things that you think can influence it ?

For me self-esteem is to be able to walk out my house head held high. And be confident in myself and knowing i can acomplish what i want if i really try. Also even if i look a mess to still feel great.

If you had to describe yourself in a positive way and share some of your own qualities and/or talents/achievements with us, what would they be ? What are some of the things about yourself that you do feel proud of ?

I'm proud of my body figure, i LOVE my figure and i love all my sports skills. I'm pretty proud of myself really, but i'm not FULL of myself, i know i make many mistakes and all, i just am proud to be able to say "I'm Megan and i'm proud!!"

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cool87
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I'll dive in myself, too.

How do you feel about yourself ? How would you grade your self-esteem on a scale of low to high ?
I do not feel very positive about myself at all, which leaves me rather depressed at times. My self-esteem is low and if I had to put it on a scale of 0 to 10, I think I'd probably put it at around 4.

Apprasal by others is really important to me. But, at the same time, when someone does give me a compliment, I often have troubles believing them. I feel that not a lot of people appreciate me and when someone does not state it to me, I feel as though they don't.

I'm also scared of hurting people or disappointing them which I fear will result in me loosing them.

If you donít consider your self-esteem to be high, what are some of the things that youíve tried in order to improve it ?

I like helping people because it gives me a sense of accomplishment and make myself feel useful, that's part of the reason why I volunteer at Scarleteen and also why I've done in the past some volunteering. Helping others help me feel a bit better about myself.

When I feel bad, I also try to remind myself of my qualities, even though it is hard for me to find a lot of those.

I'm now also giving therapy a try which will also probably help me deal with my low self-esteem.

What is self-esteem for you and what are the things that you think can influence it ?

Self-esteem for me is to way you perceive yourself, your entire person, not just your body. I think that pretty much all of your life experience can influence one's self-esteem, no matter whether those are good or bad.

For me personally, I think I could link my low self-esteem in part to the negative experiences I've had with bullying throughout my high school years and the abuses (both sexual and psychological) I've went through.

If you had to describe yourself in a positive way and share some of your own qualities and/or talents/achievements with us, what would they be ? What are some of the things about yourself that you do feel proud of ?

My academic achievement in the past which got me to where I am today. I'm also proud of all of the volunteering that I've done.

As for my qualities, some people have told me that I was a really caring person, nonjudgmental, someone with who people felt at ease and somebody who is always there to listen and help. Sometimes I feel as though I'm helping others more than I'm helping myself though.

I think that I also have a good introspection and insight.

[ 02-18-2009, 03:56 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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kamille
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How do you feel about yourself ? How would you grade your self-esteem on a scale of low to high ?

Medium to High. I've been experiencing the "freshman 15."

If you donít consider your self-esteem to be high, what are some of the things that youíve tried in order to improve it ?

I've been complaining quite a bit, without taking action.


What is self-esteem for you and what are the things that you think can influence it ?

Self-esteem is being confident in yourself, and feeling a pride in yourself. Your esteem is influenced by people around you, and how they make you feel. Although, like the Beatles once said - "No one else can make you change, and life flows on, within you and without you." So, you have to always remember to believe in yourself.

If you had to describe yourself in a positive way and share some of your own qualities and/or talents/achievements with us, what would they be ? What are some of the things about yourself that you do feel proud of ?

I love to help people and make sure that they feel happy and confident about themselves. I love to make people smile and make them sing, dance and laugh.

I am proud of my writing abilities.

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James the Dark
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How do you feel about yourself ? How would you grade your self-esteem on a scale of low to high ?

On a convienient 11 point Likert scale (zero to ten), I'd say I rate about a three. A month and a half ago, I would have been a one. Five years ago, it would have been an honest zero. The tiny increase is resultant solely from my realization that I am not going to allow myself to fail, and I refuse to die because of mental disorder.

If you donít consider your self-esteem to be high, what are some of the things that youíve tried in order to improve it ?

There isn't much I could do. I've been compulsively self-isolating for years. To this day, I still need not use both hands in order to count the number of friends I've had in my lifetime. While my social circle is much less impoverished than it was in years past, it is still meager. Also, pure cussedness has a lot to do with how I can go to sleep at night without beating the hell out of myself emotionally. Its easy to nod off when I can tell that little voice in my head to spread eagle and jump onto a fence post.

What is self-esteem for you and what are the things that you think can influence it ?

Self-esteem is the unreachable. But I don't need it to survive. Survival is pretty much the best I can hope for at the moment. Well, not hope. Haven't had that in a while. All I have is stubbornness. Stubbornness and connection. Those few connections I have are a precious thing. The more people there are that depend on me in some fashion, the more stable I am. Since I am a man (debatably) who refuses to make a promise I don't know I can keep, I drive myself to keep my word. Having something to move towards keeps me on an even keel.

If you had to describe yourself in a positive way and share some of your own qualities and/or talents/achievements with us, what would they be ? What are some of the things about yourself that you do feel proud of ?

I beat suicide. I beat MDD. I dodged alcoholism and drug addiction. Most central to all of that, I am still here. Despite everything that everybody and every force of nature that this world has thrown at me, including my own faulty mind; I am still here. That little mote, insignificant in its minuteness, that is me will not bend to the night, will not surrender to the darkness. I. Am. Still. Here. And there is nothing that can change that. Well, nothing that I'll notice, anyway.

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"And you're really asking me if I prefer injury to embarrassment? That's not even a choice. I don't know anybody who's literally died of embarrassment."

People are annoying sometimes.

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bluejumprope
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Member # 40774

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How do you feel about yourself ? How would you grade your self-esteem on a scale of low to high ?

It ranges a lot. Sometimes my self-esteem is pretty solid, and other times my self-hatred is debilitating.

If you donít consider your self-esteem to be high, what are some of the things that youíve tried in order to improve it ?

Realizing that it's my self-esteem that's low--rather than it being a fact that I'm worthless--has been a big step. Putting it in that perspective has given me some distance to examine it more, to look at my childhood wounding, and address the low self-esteem as the problem, instead of fixating so much on the the "facts" that I'm a terrible writer or stupid or unlikable or what have you.

My therapist has been very helpful in assisting me in pinpointing when things start to go downhill and examining what's really going on. She also never sees things as black or white, and that she's so unshakable in that, has helped me strengthen that lens in myself too. That my therapist (and my partner) have such utter belief in my basic decency has been very helpful.

One concrete thing was realizing that when I smoke pot, 9 times out of 10, it makes me feel terrible about myself. I had to smoke a lot of pot to realize that. Finally, one time when I was in this awful tailspin thinking that everyone, including the trees, were hating me, I was able to observe, "Hey, when I'm stoned I only consider worst-case scenarios. Maybe my worries about how people perceive me aren't realistic." Marijuana certainly didn't create my low self esteem, but it intensified my imaginings and made it virtually impossible for me to question the negative perceptions of myself.


What is self-esteem for you and what are the things that you think can influence it ?

Self-esteem is knowing myself to be fundamentally good and strong. It's knowing that my natural impulses are towards healing, self-protection, creativity, and getting my needs met, and that I'm growing and doing the best that I can.


If you had to describe yourself in a positive way and share some of your own qualities and/or talents/achievements with us, what would they be ? What are some of the things about yourself that you do feel proud of ?

This is personal to me.

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without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

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ember
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How do you feel about yourself ? How would you grade your self-esteem on a scale of low to high ?

My self-esteem itself is pretty good, in that I am quite comfortable with the person that I am, and have a pretty realistic and generally positive image of who that person is. My self-confidence however is another matter, I often have trouble because I can be a little paranoid thinking that people are constantly judging me and not seeing me for who I really am. It's not that I don't like myself, it's that I have a hard time believing that other people are seeing the person (the real me) that I like.


If you donít consider your self-esteem to be high, what are some of the things that youíve tried in order to improve it ?

Basically I have to keep reminding myself that people aren't judging me half as much as I think they are, that most of the time they probably don't even remember the insignificant things that I said or did for which I convince myself I am being judged. Just identifying the problem was incredibly helpful as it allows me to tell myself that it's (mostly) all in my head and helps me to talk myself through moments of poor confidence. Sometimes when I'm having a moment of extreme low confidence about talking to someone or something, I remind myself of something nice or positive that someone said to me recently (I know this sounds really cheesy ;P) and focus my mind on that. This is the best way for me to block out all those negative what ifs as it gives me something else to focus on. It also helps to remember how amazing I will feel when I achieve what it is I am having trouble with.

What is self-esteem for you and what are the things that you think can influence it ?

To me self-esteem is the ability to see and accept who we are, and to like and care about that person. This is also very closely related to self-confidence. However, it is not the same thing. Self-confidence is sort of like the next step after self-esteem. It is the ability to subject who we really are to the scrutiny of others.

Obviously there are a whole slew of factors that can affect our self-esteem. These are generally either factors like the media that encourage us to compare ourselves (often unrealistically) to others, or the way in which others (be it our friends, family, or perfect strangers) perceive and treat us. Often it is unintentionally hurtful comments by those closest to us that are the most devastating to our self esteem.

If you had to describe yourself in a positive way and share some of your own qualities and/or talents/achievements with us, what would they be ? What are some of the things about yourself that you do feel proud of ?

I am intelligent, creative and have a dynamic personality. I perceptive, analytical and readily form my own opinions. I am resilient I have good judgement and know myself incredibly well. I am a generally very caring person, and I am a loyal and trustworthy friend. I am proud of the fact that I have managed to let my guard down enough to form friendships with people I feel that I can truly be exactly who I am with. I am proud of the fact that I realized that trying to change myself and conform to the norm in order to have friends was counter productive, and that I changed that and abandoned conformity. I am proud of myself every-time I act in play and I overcome my terrible stage fright and step up on stage to pursue something I really love.

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