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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Neighbours' sex

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Author Topic: Neighbours' sex
Member # 27408

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I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this in, but it's affecting my mental and physical health.
I live in a residence dormitory at school, and it's co-ed. The guy who lives next to me has his girlfriend over about 9 out of every 10 nights. Now, normally I'm all for couples seeing each other whenever they want, and for their business being their own, but the walls here are REALLY thin (I can hear my neighbours coughing), and I'm a really light sleeper (that coughing wakes me up). About 5 out of those 9 nights she sleeps over, they have loud sex. Like, screaming-and-moaning-with-every-thrust style. People in the hallways laugh because they can hear it. During the day I can deal, because I put my music on, but at night, when I'm trying to fall asleep, or am asleep, it's very disruptive. I have no idea how to approach my neighbour, as he's not the friendliest guy, and I don't really know either him or his girlfriend. How do I get them to keep it down? I need sleep!

Posts: 128 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Get earplugs.

Seriously? This really is just part of dorm life and communal or apartment living, and if the standard approach to this at your school is that folks just tolerate it, then unless you feel up to just asking, politely, if he could keep it down after a certain reasonable hour? You're pretty much stuck with this, unless you have an RA who you can ask about it (and if you do, that's the person to ask).

My current partner snores louder than most people's volume during sex: earplugs are swell and very, very effective. [Smile]

[ 01-15-2007, 10:36 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32184

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If it's really affecting you this badly, you might try talking to your RA about it. While there's almost nothing you can do about it (short of approaching him - and if he's unfriendly, that wouldn't be too pleasant), your RA might be able to give you more tips on stuff you can do or even talk to the guy.

I feel for you, though. I had a roommate in college who felt the need to have her boyfriend over 4 out of 7 days of the week, and their drunken sex noises could be heard through all our rooms, as well as in the rooms above and below us.

Posts: 33 | From: Gainesville, FL | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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My take has always been to just ignore it. I live in a dorm and I can hear everything that goes on. Given that I can even hear the clatter of pots and pans when the guy next door is cooking or doing his dishes, I am fairly certain that he (and everyone else on our hallway) can hear just about everything I do. It's just the way our rooms are built. So it'd be kind of silly for me to go and complain about that.

I second the earplugs.

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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 32417

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Having never been to college, I may be shooting wide here but maybe swap rooms with someone who's a heavy sleeper and/or wouldn't mind living next door to them?

That or maybe he should just gag her during sex [Smile] (Safely of course!)

SSC is a good idea for vanilla people too!

Posts: 28 | From: England | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5972

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Talk to someone. Most residence halls have policies about making so much noise that it disturbs your neighbors. If you have a 24 hour front desk in your building you can ask them to help, usually you can call in an anonymous (sp?) tip and they'll send someone up to quiet them. RA's are also good to help with this kind of thing. Think about it this way, SHE's got to have a room that they could be boinking in...
Posts: 28 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 16787

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As a former RA I would say that is deff what your RA is for. It may be a little awkward but go to her/him and just let them know about the situation. It's really in the RA's job description, we had to deal with it a couple times in my building. The RA will then go to the couple and let them know that there have been complaints about them being...heard. and ask them to be considerate and keep it down a notch.
Posts: 138 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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