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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » A confused question

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Author Topic: A confused question
Fall Out Boy
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Hi, I'm back after god knows how long (a month i think) and I have... a question which I am wondering about.

I like wearing Eyeliner and think it looks good on me. Its partly due to my grunge/goth style, but as a guy, this kinda isn't right, as it is designed for girls. Often, I get the feeling that I am homosexual, and not straight. Its very anoying, bucuz I know I'm not gay - I have made out with my fair share of girls.

Is this normal? I dunno what to think, can you guys/girls, offer any thoughts?

p.s soz, I think I posted in the wrong section *sighs*

[ 05-17-2006, 10:10 AM: Message edited by: Fall Out Boy ]

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I don't wanna be the one, the battles always choose, cuz inside I know, that I'm the one confused.

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Irm
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"...but as a guy, this kinda isn't right, as it is designed for girls."

Eyeliner is marketed to females, certainly, because according to mainstream standards, females are expected to alter their appearence through cosmetics, whereas guys are not. However, when it comes down to the reality of it, LOTS of men use eye-liner, and lots of women don't. If you like wearing it, then wear it--your gender doesn't dictate whether or not cosmetics are appropriate for you, either way. For some women, eye-liner just isn't right. For some men, it is. And vica versa. My own fiance` is what one might call "manly" by mainstream standards, and yet he drags me to Wal Mart because he "has to pick up a new stick of eyeliner!"

"Often, I get the feeling that I am homosexual, and not straight. Its very anoying, bucuz I know I'm not gay -"

If you know you are not gay, then how could being attracted to eyeliner alter that? Doing something that is stereotypically "girly" does NOT make you gay. At all. Really. Such thoughts are entirely based on gender stereotypes--assuming that all women like men, and all women like eye-liner, and therefore liking eye-liner must obviously mean that you like men. It's not like that at all.

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Fall Out Boy
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Well thats okay news, its mainly my dad who is sterotype, becuz he thinks I might be gay, but is it possible he's just a sterotype to my style?

Also, I don't wear any other make up, its just on the eyes.

Most people I know consider it girly wearing it, though my mom just tells me that there is nothing wrong with wearing it, though it is quite hard to follow this up completely. I first started wearing it, mainly becuz of the style/genre i follow. I just use it now anyway cuz it looks cool

It doesn't feel completely normal, mainly becuz most of the people I know are sterotype about it.

[ 05-17-2006, 11:06 AM: Message edited by: Fall Out Boy ]

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I don't wanna be the one, the battles always choose, cuz inside I know, that I'm the one confused.

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pierceme05
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Personally, I think eyeliner can be sexy on guys. With a username of Fall Out Boy, you should know that many of the guys in the band wear eyeliner as well.

But, if you are using it to be "scene" I don't support that. That is not sexy.

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Fall Out Boy
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Yeah, I know that the band members like to use it, I used to use it for a style, but really I just like wearing it now, mainly cuz I think it looks good on me

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I don't wanna be the one, the battles always choose, cuz inside I know, that I'm the one confused.

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ghostie
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I think it looks good on guys too [Smile] Some adults don't understand this kinda thing so think its a negative thing for boys to wear things originally manufactured for girls. I say if you feel comfertable and good looking in it, it will show in confidence and I know loads of girls like guys wearing makeup (myself for one) so it is a good thing if its your style:D
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Irm
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"Well thats okay news, its mainly my dad who is sterotype, becuz he thinks I might be gay, but is it possible he's just a sterotype to my style?"

If he believes that you are gay because you wear eye-liner, then yes, he is stereotyping.

"It doesn't feel completely normal, mainly becuz most of the people I know are sterotype about it."

A lot of people DON'T think that it is "normal", but normal is relative, and certainly not something that you should base your personality on.

"But, if you are using it to be "scene" I don't support that. That is not sexy."

I don't think that there is anything inherently wrong with people purposefully adopting markings for the purpose of linking themselves to a certain community, so long as they do not do so blatantly AGAINST their own desire or well-being.

[ 05-17-2006, 12:01 PM: Message edited by: RedGoddess ]

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Heather
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Just FYI, pierceme, it's not anyone's place here at the boards to be telling any person what is or is not "sexy," per their personal style.

"Sexy" is a pretty arbitrary thing, and to my knowledge, no one as yet has been given the post of deciding what is or is not sexy, and stating nonsupport for someone's style because it doesn't do anything for YOU is just plain silly.

You know, I'm of the age where in my early teens was really the first time historically guys were doing the eyeliner thing in daily wear. I remember all too well male friends of mine slipping into the bathrooms at school in the morning to put theirs on because it wasn't worth the grief of hearing about it at home: I remember juests from one of my parents about boyfriends I'd have who donned eye makeup. And don't think for a minute that wasn't about a scene: the whole practice in general came out of a scene thirty years ago. No matter.

You might just want to make your life easier for now and do the bathroom thang yourself.

(And one more FYI? A lot of those who are homosexual have made out with members of the opposite sex, even had sex with them, especially during early sexual development. So, since you're aware that sterotypes about men and makeup are pretty faulty, you might want to also be sure you're not enabling sterotypes yourself with things you state.)

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LetMeBeHappy
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i think guys and eyeliner look seriously hot...sry couldn't keep that in any longer [Razz]
and in my opinion it take a real man to wear make-up [Smile] dnt worry about it man ...

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*I died in my dreams reaching out for your hand my fatal desire*

My orientation is just another part of me, let me live, let me be, i am the same person you knew only happier.

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Aela 57
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Men or women can look 'hot' with or without eyeliner, I don't think anyone would be being realistic to say that with/without it was either a categorically hot look or not.

Personally, I think someone is most attractive if they're comfortable in themselves. Thinking of usual standards, a woman can look positively uncomfortable in a 'sexy' dress and so a bit silly, yet look gorgeous if she's comfortable and confident in something traditionally less glamorous like jeans.

My point is I don't think any item which affects appearance equals sexy or not.

Oh, and makeup doesn't make men necessarily any less straight than wearing trousers made women post (or before!) WW2.

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Aela. 19, 5'9. Often confused.

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daria319
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Personally, I don't care what sex is wearing the makeup. I care about WHY the person bothers putting the makeup on. If it stems from insecurity or something of the like, then it worries me. Of course, insecurity in general is something I'd be concerned about.

Different products are marketed to different groups of people because those groups are simply who the companies THINK will have more of a tendency to buy that product. It has NOTHING to do with the product's design. (Heck, tampon applicators were designed by MEN and targeted at WOMEN -- tell me if THAT'S not a little wacky/irrational.)

Anyway, it's no big deal if you wear eyeliner, as long as it's not giving you eye infections or anything. Your father needs to rent a brain and get over it. Men wear eyeliner. Women wear eyeliner. Some people even put eyeliner on their pets. Stereotyping people isn't going to change that. Stereotypes are a waste of time and energy -- and they're almost always WRONG.

Besides, even if you ARE gay, eyeliner has nothing to do with it, and your father should love you regardless -- you're his kid!

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"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

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zeta
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As far as the gothic scene goes, and a whole lot of other ones, makeup and skirts too on males are not only all right (they're okay on any male who wishes them) but in fact the standard.

Different subcultures, generations, etc mean different things by what they wear and how they look. The semiotics just vary. My mother used to think only prostitutes wore fishnet stockings, while in my generation, alternative chicks did. Different age and social groups signal different things, and one should never assume anything based on someone's look alone.

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I don't get even, I get odder

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cool87
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I think it's okay for some guys to use eyeliner is they are like punk. There's a lot of music male from punk-rock bands that wear make-up and I think that's their way to be original and I'm fine with it. It's part of their style.

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