Now, I don't do the holidays, but I know that a lot of you do, and this time of year often seems to be a good one for affirmations and plans in general.
So, howsabout you give yourself a holiday gift this year about your sexuality or something related to it?
Maybe that's finally seeking out and using a reliable method of birth control. Maybe it's about insisting that your partner -- not just you -- get STI testing. Maybe you are going to explore something you have wanted to, but haven't before. Maybe you're going to make some peace with your body, or try and start having sex in a way that's about pleasure, not just orgasm, or not about obligation. Maybe you're going to come out.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me ē Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 66622 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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I don't do holidays either, but I was actually thinking about this very topic last night in the context of the solstice.
I want to give myself the gift of greater sexual self-expression, both in myself and with appropriate others. I've been wanting to talk to my therapist about some deep sexual issues for years now, and took a big step yesterday with her and got the ball rolling. I've wanted to write erotica and memoir about my sexual history for a long time too, and am beginning to feel the internal safety to do this. I'd like to give myself the gift of self-acceptance and loving-kindness as I navigate expressing these personal things.
In the spirit of all this, I also want to share my gratitude to Heather and Scarleteen for giving me a safe place to express myself. In the last few months I've written a lot of stuff here that I've had very few other outlets to express before, and it's really helped connect me with new sources of aliveness. Thank you.
-------------------- without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich Posts: 407 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2008
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I am aware that transparency with users is really important and this sounds like a good opportunity to practice it, so here Iíll go.
For me, I still to want to work on being more assertive/feeling more comfortable stating my own limits and boundaries, because my limits and boundaries are just as important as my partnerís.
Being assertive is something that I find very important but yet something that I also think I still need improvement with. I want to reach a point where Iím feeling totally comfortable saying no to sex to a partner when I donít feel like having it at 100% and/or refusing to engage in sexual activities that I am not interested in without feeling guilty or bad about it. I want to put my pleasure on the same level as my partnerís, not my partnerís pleasure on a higher level like I used to do because I now understand that I deserve it as much as my partner does. This might be something that feels natural for a lot of people but thatís something that Iím personally still struggling with sometimes.
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