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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Major Life Slump - Advice?

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Author Topic: Major Life Slump - Advice?
Member # 38784

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Okay so, since everything seems to be going wrong, I'm going to make sub-categories to make things easier to read. Here I go.

Self - I generally have low self esteem anyway (for whatever reason) and it's silly but I can't help but have a bad opinion of myself. I do well in school and I'm a decent person but there's nothing special about me. I've recently been searching for that "something" that I'm good at doing. There's really nothing "unique" when it comes to me or my personality. I'm pretty average and it actually frustrates me. I'm in search of a hobby now but I don't know what to try.

Friends - I haven't spoke to my best friend in 4 weeks over the stupid fight but neither of us seem to want to let it go so there goes our friendship. Also, our group of friends seems to be leaning more towards her lately as I have a boyfriend and none of them do and they just don't understand. I've tried to get together with them the last couple weekends and they're just "busy" so I feel like I've lost all 5 of my best friends.

Family - My parents and I just don't stop fighting. Period. They're overbearing and they smother me and I'm getting irritated with them more and more lately. Dad and I may as well not speak as we just argue literally all of the time over nothing. Sigh.

Boyfriend - As much as I love him, sometimes he can be a big sook and hard to deal with because when he gets in a bad mood, he does anything to bring down my self esteem. We've been together for nearly 21 months and we've made "future plans" and even though he's going away for university first year and I'm not going until second, we're planning on continuing our relationship. I'm worried we won't make it and that the distance (although only 2.5 hours) will be too much for our relationship. He says it won't but I don't want to put all my eggs in one basket.

Future - So all of my "friends" and my boyfriend are going away to university for their first year but my overbearing parents don't think I'm mature enough and they're refusing to pay for me to go away until second year. I'm worried I'll be completely alone next year and that I'll lose my boyfriend and then I'll fail my courses. I've got my profession chosen but if I don't keep my marks up I won't get into the program and if I don't I have no idea what I'll do with my life. I worry over everything and I picture the worst case scenarios for everything and I'm getting worse lately.

I don't know what to do anymore. I need to figure out something that can be "mine" and keep me calm. Any advice at all would be appreciated.

Tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun.

Posts: 73 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 13245

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Hey Jai,
I can't offer a whole lot of assistance, but I'd really recommend you see a counselor. I'm in Canada too, and our health care system is pretty nice, in that we can see a counselor for free. It sounds like you're currently in college (but in your hometown?), and they are usually very good at providing counseling or telling you where to go to get counseling. These are trained professionals who can help you out with all the things you talk about here, and even more.
I have felt similar to how you do, and still do occasionally, but through various kinds of therapy and help, I've developped ways to cope with "worst case senarios" and worrying. Let me know your location if you want me to find you some resources in your area.


Posts: 593 | From: Kamloops, BC, Canada | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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