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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » odd feeling!

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Author Topic: odd feeling!
archp
Neophyte
Member # 40611

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Hi there,

I am a 26 yr old male. I have always had lots of women and still do, one long term, I do love my women I am the typical bloke, always have been. However about a month ago, I got called "gay" at work, just taking the mick out of me, since then I keep having a sinking feeling because I look at men in different ways, which then play on my mind it has now become sycological, everyday I worry about it, but think I am worrying about nothing..I do not find men arousing or anything like that, it is just really strange...I just want to clear my mind of it!! I am trying to think of anything else that might have kicked me off feeling odd..!

I have had a casual relationships since my long term ex, so this is the first time things have been casual for 5 yrs...ie no full time girlfriend!

Any advice for me??

Many thanks

Posts: 3 | From: London | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
atm1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 37835

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First off, you might make a lot of people uncomfortable by saying that you've "had" women, and calling them "my women." You may have dated women, or slept with women, but you really don't own them.

If you don't find men attractive, I don't quite get what your worry is. You don't seem to be worried about not being straight (and, even if you are, why don't you ask yourself why that would be something to worry about in the first place). What do you mean by "feeling odd"?

Would you consider exploring counseling or therapy options to explore what you're feeling?

Posts: 2262 | From: in transition | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
archp
Neophyte
Member # 40611

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Sorry the terminology was not great!!

Regarding women, I have always had lots of girlfriends and until about a month ago, when someone at work took the mick out of me saying "your gay", it then played on my mind, it sounds silly I know but I started looking at men in a slightly different way I guess, it gives me a sinkin feeling when I do as it is not me or my normal self and I also don't want to feel like it, I want to be back to my usual self...is this just a weird phase? As I said I do not get aroused by men at all, but as this odd time I am going through I perhaps look at my own sex differently...I shower with 11 other men at football etc and it doesn't cross my mind...I am just wanting some advice of how I am feeling...

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atm1
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 37835

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My biggest advice would be to see a therapist or counselor who can talk through these feelings with you. It sounds to me like what was said to you triggered some underlying emotions, and it would be good to talk to someone in person about them if you can.

Why I say that is that there are infinitely many reasons to be feeling a bit off from time to time, and it's really hard to figure that out just from short snippets. You may wake up feeling just as you used to one day soon, or you may find that you have to deal with some underlying issues.

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-Lauren-
Activist
Member # 25983

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And in case you're interested, know that you can talk to your supervisor/boss about the comments that person made. Flinging sexual orientations slurs is sexual harassment, and you have every right to call him out on it.
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archp
Neophyte
Member # 40611

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Hi, Thanks for the replies.

Well to be honest I think an therapist is a little too much!! I take on your advice but I think it is just a silly odd month or so at the moment, I just wanted to see if other people had, had some odd feelings like this to sort me out and get me back to my usual self...

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whafu
Neophyte
Member # 40743

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I think your just losing your confidence about your self, it might be a cause of some badly behaved peer of yours. But umm... you shouldn't worry too much.

MAYBE YOUR WORK MATES ARE JUST INSECURE ABOUT YOU??

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Anon555
Activist
Member # 40711

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Over here, guys get called "gay" all the time. Some of my guy friends just go with it and start acting silly to freak the random dudes out--gives me a laugh. [Big Grin] My boyfriend is actually bi as well, but it doesn't bother me--gives me ideas for the future instead! (Cosplay, anyone?)

Thing is, it sounds like from what you said you're reconsidering your feelings and trying to see if you're straight, bi, gay, whatever, am I right? I believe teens go through this. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it. Do you? Or perhaps, do you think it's wrong because you want to live to the social standards you were taught?

Love is love, no matter the body of the one we love. I agree with the counselor thing if possible. Also, take some time for some introspection, try to understand yourself more. Take a break from it all and just cater to yourself.

Hope that was somewhat helpful.

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