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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Being thin is awkward

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Author Topic: Being thin is awkward
bellaitaliana69
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I just wanna what all of you think about this. . .

Women are given so many mixed messages. The fashion industry says that thin is in, but in many magazines and on many websites we are told to love ourselves as we are. I don't think anyone should be made to feel bad about themselves for how they look because standards of beauty are fickle and we can't control our genetics. Women who aren't naturally thin are encouraged to fight today's standards of beauty. But as a naturally thin woman, I've discovered that the standards don't make my life any easier. I am a size zero. I never starved myself to be this size. I eat normally and exercise normally. I've just always been a small person. I have a very hard time finding clothes that fit. Even though the fashion industry says that thin is in, I guess the manufacturers realize that that's an unrealistic standard of beauty and don't make a lot of things for thin people. I've even discovered that at many stores, the sizes will run bigger so that customers can fit into a smaller size, feel good about themselves, and spend more money. This strategy makes shopping even more difficult for people like me.
Often, the only stores that will carry plenty of size zeros are designer boutiques and normal people like me can't afford that. I also hate the stares I get from people when I ask a sales person for a smaller size, or emerge from a fitting room in a tiny pair of pants that look like they're going to fall off.
I even hate that size number "zero". It's as though I'm so small I don't exist. I'm tired of all the mixed messages. People who want to fight our society's absurd standard of beauty say that "real women aren't that thin". So am I not a real woman? The media says that I should feel like some kind of "ideal woman" because I'm thin. I don't feel ideal. I feel awkward. Basically, our society's beauty standards alienate everyone.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

Posts: 136 | From: Roma, Italy | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
chesarasara889
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i totally agree! i may not be a size zero but I'm im not over weight either. the design company's keep making clothes for woman who have a straight up and down shape i dont know why i've never seen any one that doesnt have a shape! but any way i have large breasts big hips no butt and im 5'9' it's to the point that i don't even like to go shopping with my girls b/c i just get so aggravated i can never find clothing that fits me right. either its too big or too small soon im going to have to start making my own clothes! and as for the ideal woman! (even Barbie had curves) there is no such thing you should just be happy as you are because its useless to try and please any one else <3

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rayleen

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bellaitaliana69
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I'm so with you on the shopping thing. If I go shopping with my friends and try anything on they all either joke that I should start shopping in the kids' department, or they all say that they're jealous of my size when really there's nothing to be jealous of.
But my own size situation has just made me realize even more so how screwed up the standards of beauty are.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

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laur12
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I COMPLETELY agree. All I hear now is that "real women have curves and should be proud of them." I don't have any curves, I'm really thin, 5'8" and a size double zero. It's SO hard for me to find clothes that fit. I don't understand why I am this way, but I've always been tall and thin, and I've learned to accept it. Why should I feel abnormal for being this way?
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bellaitaliana69
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EXACTLY! I'm naturally very thin and petite, not anorexic, and last time I checked I'm a real woman. No matter what shape we are. . . tall, short, thin, curvy, whatever. . we're ALL real women and we should all love our bodies as they are. . Now if only the media and popular culture would agree.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

Posts: 136 | From: Roma, Italy | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Horizon
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Just dropping in here...

Men and women both are given mixed signals constantly, which sometimes makes it difficult for us to love our bodies when we are continually bombarded with messages about how we should look like this or that. But those of you who have posted here might be interested in this thread:

The Grass Is Always Greener...

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-Kayla
Scarleteen Volunteer

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates

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libertatissacra
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Though I'm not that thin (not fat either; just kind of average), I totally agree that social standards of beauty send mixed messages to everyone. One day I hear that large breasts are attractive and hear about how many women are getting breast implants, and the next day I go shopping and can't find a shirt that my boobs will fit into. And I don't even have enormous boobs. I read in an article that "men like shorter girls," but I can't find a pair of jeans that I don't need to take home and hem several inches.

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"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."
-Oscar Wilde

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bellaitaliana69
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Also with the boobs thing, it seems to me that women who are thin and have decently sized boobs have the hardest time finding bras. I'm a size 32C which is pretty hard to find but I don't have that much trouble. But a close friend of mine is a 32D which is about what lingerie models appear to have, yet she has so much trouble finding bras that she often has to resort to having them custom made.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

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orca
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And yet, we only have to pay the normal price for them when we buy them in stores. I'm a 32C/D and sure, I have a hard time finding the right bra, but when I do find it, I get to pay the cheaper price. Women of size often have to pay $5-10 more for their bras and other clothing, which they may also have a lot of difficulty finding.

I sympathize, really, I do, I'm very petite too, but this is getting a little out of control. The thing is, as women of smaller size, we do get to enjoy a lot of privilege, and complaining about it, acting like it's a burden when you know that you do get a lot of perks from it (like say walking down the street without being insulted for how you look, getting discounts at stores, being served faster at restaurants, etc.) is kind of deceitful. Instead of seeing only the negatives about your size, how about looking at the positives and realizing that you are actually quite fortunate in many many respects, even if you have to search a little harder for clothing. Heather just wrote up a really great thread today about different kinds of privilege which I think might be worthwhile to take a look at. You really are a lot luckier than you realize, and there are plenty of people who starve themselves, torture their own bodies, so they can look like you.
Privilege Checklists

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Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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bellaitaliana69
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I did not mean to offend anyone with this thread. I was merely trying to point out that being small isn't as idyllic as many people think it is. However, Orca, I think is a rather presumptuous and condescending of you to assume that I cannot appreciate the privileges I have.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

Posts: 136 | From: Roma, Italy | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bellaitaliana69
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And I've never gotten a discount because of my size. In my experience, a size 0 and a size 16 cost exactly the same at most stores.

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"Only fear the things which have the power to harm" --Dante Aligheri, "Inferno" canto 2

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

Posts: 136 | From: Roma, Italy | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ASargent42
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Bella, just as you didn't intend to offend, neither did Orca.

Maybe we should just put this topic to rest. It should be understood that no matter ones' body size, it can be difficult in many areas of life, and that people of other types may not recognise those difficulties right away.

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Amanda
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Heather
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I think I'm going to go with Amanda on this one and close this topic for now.

But just to be clear....

quote:
And I've never gotten a discount because of my size. In my experience, a size 0 and a size 16 cost exactly the same at most stores.
And yet, having a lot of plus-size friends, well over size 16 -- women's bodies don't stop at a size 16, that's only where average sizes stop -- I know full well that their clothing does indeed usually cost more than my average-size clothing does (despite the fact that as someone who sews, I know those costs increases aren't relative to how much that much more fabric costs). And that's without even accounting for extra fuel and time plus-size women often spend in trying to find clothing their size in the first place.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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