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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Unable to trust :S

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Author Topic: Unable to trust :S
Member # 21320

Icon 9 posted      Profile for PuNkYeGg     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok. Some other people must have this issue too, so any help would be appreciated!

Since my breakup with my 'long term' boyfriend, I feel as if I cant trust anyone. Well, my close friends have my trust completly, but I'm suspicious of any new people that I meet. Girls or guys, I always feel as if they don't mean the things they say or are going to end up imbarasing/hurting me.

I recently met a guy I quite like and I amn't able to believe he likes me. Hes told me and others that he does but even so, Im scared of the outcome.
Im deciding not to rush into anything with ANYONE for a longgg time, due to my last failed relationships. Lol.

This really does bug me though because I feel as if i have to find out millions of things about someone before I can trust them.

I know I cant really do anything and its up to me to learn to trust people, but if anyone has this problem or anything Id like to hear about it!

Thanks [Smile]

Posts: 97 | From: Uk | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29292

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I know how it feels to have problems trusting people, believe me I've been there and I'm still there sometimes too.

I've personnally come to accept that it might just take me longer before I'm able to trust a certain person I met. So I just give it time and it does get better with time once I get to know the person better. I think it does get better too simply day after day throughout little experiences I live which get to prove me that not everyone betray my trust. So, really I think this is something that can get better with time, it's something that can improve and that is not meant to stay that way forever.

I think it's normal though in the beginning of a relationship to sometimes feel that way given we haven't had time to get to know the person very well yet and hence it might be more difficult to trust this person as much as we trust our close friends for example. So giving it time might help in increasing the trust you have towards your partner. That's also something you might want to discuss with him. You might find this helps.

I know this might be difficult to trust a new partner after a breakup because you feel as though the same thing will happen again this time when that's not always the case. So telling yourself that--that not all relationships are meant to fail and that is not really something you can predict with any accuracy at this point anyway (how much your partner loves you now doesn't have much to do with whether or not your relationship will last over time)--might also help.

[ 12-25-2007, 05:24 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 36235

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i also know its hard to trust...

my dad had an affair for two years, and i recently found out my partner of a year has cheated on hurts so much.

but thats life tbh, we are all gonna be hurt throughout life, but each time will make us stronger and we will learn why relationships fail.


Posts: 28 | From: birmingham | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 34285

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i deffinately know how that feels... after me and my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up, i didnt want to trust guys, and i automatically assumed that any guy that tried to get to know me, was a lying idiot. i have gotten over that a little bit, but now i am just more cautious, and look for signs that could lead me to believe something. i found that it is ok to let people earn your trust, it works out better that way.~smiley
Posts: 169 | From: usa | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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