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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » How do you feel fully comfortable naked when being with you partner?

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Author Topic: How do you feel fully comfortable naked when being with you partner?
LBelle22
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Okay, so as I've said In the past I am not ready to have sex yet (take in mind that I'm 15 and a half). To be truly honest I'd rather wait until I'm out of High school, for numerous reasons. But I was just wondering, how do you feel truly and completely comfortable naked in front of your partner? I realize that sex obviously involves being deeply intimate with someone, not just on a physical level but emotional as well. Yet, I need to know. Does anyone have any personal experience they can share? How do you feel comfortable? I realize that who your partner is has a true influence on such things, but how do you get past the fear(not just the fear of what you look like, but the nudity itself--it's freakin' scary)?

Please, Please, please respond!!!

Thanks buches,

Lauren [Smile]

Posts: 40 | From: Providence, RI | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SnailShells
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That's a good question. I hate wearing a swimsuit, yet I really wouldn't have any problem being naked in the presence of my partner. I think it's because I have no fear that his feelings towards me, or vice versa, are not going to change because of some physical "flaw". He reminds me that he likes me the way I am (it's a wonderful ego boost having someone sincerely tell you "You look so pretty," when you've just hopped out of the shower and thrown on some sweats). I also think a big part of my being comfortable with nudity in general, too, comes from the nude figure drawing class I'm taking; the models we draw are varied ages and ethnicities, and it puts things in perspective as to what real people, not Abercrombie and Fitch models, look like underneath it all. And I gotta say, it's pretty darn fantastic.

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I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. --John Waters

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iamfree
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It takes time to be fully comfortable with someone in an intimate situation. This is one reason to wait and get to know the person before becoming deeply sexual with them. At least that's what I believe. It really has to do with trust. If you trust your partner completely, then chances are you will feel comfotable with him/her, even when you're in a physically and/or emotionally vulnerable situation together. Also, even if you're insecure about your body, a good, loving partner will let you know how attractive you are to him/her. That's just what a sexual partner does. Anyone who makes you feel ugly or bad is not worth your time, and certainly not someone you should be having any kind of sex with.

It was months before I was fully comfortable being naked in front of my boyfriend. To be honest, the first time was nerve-wracking and a little scary. But he told me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me, and that made me instantly feel comfortable.

So, my advice? Take your time. Remember that it's normal to be afraid (after all, intimacy can be a scary thing), but also listen to your gut. When you want to be naked with your partner, you'll know and it will just feel right.

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musical_gal
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It's the same here. I would really hate it at first because I'd worry about what he thought, notice the things that I don't like about my body, etc. In fact, it seemed that the things I didn't like most about myself he liked the most! It did take a while to get fully used to it but I knew he found me attractive and I gradually felt perfectly fine.
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jumpsturdy
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Heather has said in a bunch of her articles on the main page that being ready for sex doesn't just mean being ready for sex in general - it means being ready for sex with a particular partner at a particular time. I think the same goes for being naked with somebody. Like SnailShells, I tend to feel very uncomfortable in bathing suits in public, but I didn't feel at all self-conscious my first time having intercourse. That probably had something to do with the fact that my boyfriend and I had been daing for a year and knew each other very well, but the time period and the nature of he relationship is different for everybody. If you're *really* feeling comfortable enough to have sex with someone - like, really truly - you probably won't be too self-conscious about being naked. If you are, you might not be ready for sex.
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bluefreak44
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I never really thought about it. My husband and I waited until we were married, so by then being that open with one another just seemed like second nature.

I was thinking about it recently, though, because a friend of mine who also waited to have sex until she was married mentioned that she was a little nervous and insecure on their wedding night. It never even occurred to me on my wedding night to feel that way.

Btw, it's not like I'm generally secure with myself. I haven't even worn shorts in public (except over a swimsuit) in about 10 years.

As others have said, it just seems to come naturally when you're with someone who has made it clear that their love is not dependent on how you look, someone who makes it clear that he loves you AND your body, but not for the measurements and whatnot.

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Inferi
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Honestly, I think I had to learn to be competely comfortable with my body infront of *myself* and just realize that nude's as natural as it gets, and there's nothing wrong with that.
After i was able to accept my own body, I had no problem baring it to someone who I knew accepted it as well... and now days, not really afraid about who ends up spotting me in the buff.. :\ Whoops, there went the modesty, too...

But seriously, getting comfortable with being naked around my boyfriend started with me being comfortable naked around myself.

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Leabug
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(Well said, Inferi. [Smile] I was the same way!)

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Lea

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pixeldot
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You just have to be comfortable with the person you're with. I lost my virginity at age 19, so I've become a bit more comfortable with my body over the years. I *can't* imagine myself getting naked with anyone at 15, honestly, I was so insecure, and my body was still growing (and awkwardly so, might I add).

As for a story related to this... the first time I had sex, I was pretty nervous. As we were getting undressed, I asked "Do we turn the lights off?" Because that's the image I'd always had of sex, but he replied "Well, do you want to see me?"

Don't know, that just seemed to say alot for one sentence.

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hs123
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For me, it's actually quite different.. when I'm alone, I don't like my body at all, but when I'm with my boyfriend, he makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful person in the world...
When we first started doing things that involved taking our clothes off, he would always ask why I insisted on having the light off and staying under a blanket and I would always say, "I hate my body, i don't like this or that..." and he would just say "I like you, and so I like your body--- I think you're a beautiful person- in every way--" It made me feel so much better about taking me my clothes off in front of him-- In fact, I'd rather be naked with him, than by myself, because with him he'll reassure me that I'm beautiful...

You have to give yourself time--- The first time is always awkward--- I made him take his glasses off and he made me take mine off too... we couldn't see a thing and it was dark, so we were just feeling around for each other--- it was hilarious... It's all a learning experience---

Posts: 401 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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